Visible Allusions to the Greater Illusions

I am not a lonely man,

Yet their are times when my mind screams,

Because my home, it feels empty,

And my life lacks real theme.

I am not a bad man,

Yet their are times when I can yell;

'You've broke my heart, you've tripped my mind,

You can burn in hell.'

I am not a daft man,

Yet their are times when my thoughts cease;

To figure from the start of things,

Would destroy my inner peace.

I am not the smartest man,

Yet at times my mind will speed.

From start to stop, the pages turn;

I devour what I read.

I am not the coolest man,

Yet to me, that means next to none;

I am and will be who I want,

From myself, I will not run.

I may be a free man,

Yet I lock myself to screens;

I lock myself to schedules,

I lock myself to teams.

I lock myself to a world which says,

'To yourself, you will not bend.

For me you will do anything,

And to yourself,

You will not tend.'

I lock myself to thoughts and feel,

That cause me to believe,

For some incandescent reason,

I owe the world, and weave,

Into the fabric of the rest,

I work for bigger goals.

For me the bell sits silent,

But for the rest, the bell does toll.

Converse Inconsistencies

I am not a dead man,
At least, I'm not quite yet;
My heart pumps loud,
My feelings proud,
And there's feelings I must vent.

Living life in silence,
While screaming every word,
In many ways my life takes both,
To contradict the world.

Rebels in the underbrush,
Conformists on the streets;
I'm sorry to disturb your norm,
But the rebels are elites;
Conforming kills the mindless soul,
To fight off human urge;
Your deities have said nothing,
Your logic, left to purge:

The voiceless and the insecure,
They don't need you to live.
When they look to you they see,
Someone they can ask to give;
To pass to them, all fruitless foods,
And currency, thanks Lord.
To pass up chances, passions prod,
No thanks, I'll stay here, bored.

The apathetic structures,
Of a planet driven mad,
Tells us that I'm not a dead man,
But that how I live, is bad.

They tell me,
'Buy more boots, more guns!
Leave all this to your sons,'
Appreciation, driven deep,
To make us think were one,
With the glass-tiled towers,
Of Wall Street and New York,
To bring to you, your children,
Singing songs of straddled stork.

Judgment day is everyday,
In streets filled with the 'fresh;'
New Converse, cars, iPod's, and phones,
Who needs designer mesh?

For now, I repeat the rebels words,
To advertise the real;
I am not a dead man yet,
And to you, I will not keel.

In Brighter Contrast

So the lantern, it flickers,
Upon shelves of oak.
From this flicker of light,
The dark is stripped of it's cloak;
Forced to slink into corners,
Licked by wavering flame;
The darkness retreated,
By a small master, be tamed.

So the lantern, it flickers,
But all blinded, don't see.
The dark is forever,
And one day light will flee;
From the streetlights and oceans,
Forests and ponds,
Deserts and grasslands;
A dead wizards wand.

The cloak will envelope,
Polka-dotted with light,
But our domain, it lays dying;
The light, out of sight.

The angels and demons,
Abstract thoughts,
And all frets,
Left to aged generations,
Their lives make last bets.

The Kingdom of Spacetime,
Will cease to exist,
As something comprehensible;
The last lost the gist.

Of wise words,
And dead men,
Who's thoughts linger on;
For now, what is left,
Is thought as a con.

And the Kingdom of Happy,
Razes thoughts of the past;
Thoughts of the future,
Thoughts fading fast.
No longer is time left,
Of anys concerns,
As late in this dead age,
Man at last learns,
The present is everything;
Anything else is so false.

For now we'll enjoy,
Living to the last pulse.

I Am Not a Simple Irresponsible.

"So you don't follow the rules?"
"I follow the rules."
"Obviously not all of them."
"Your right, not all of them."
"You should respect school rules."
"I do respect school rules."
"Then why don't you follow all of them?"
"Because they restrict me."
"Based on what we believe is best for you, yes."
"I've never been one to put my decisions in other peoples hands, thanks."
"Look; we do this to make sure students get a excellent education. One that parents are more than happy with."
"I don't mean to act like the automatic rebel, but I'm not my parents. You shouldn't be concerned about them."
"They play a big part in your education as well, Kyran."
"So I've heard, for the past 12 years."
"They have a larger input then I do. Basically, as a collective, the parents are stronger than the school board."
"I appreciate the representation, but I'm starting to think it should be the the students that are much more powerful than the parents when united as a collective. Its our futures, anyways."
"That's the problem, Kyran. Your current trends in certain classes don't communicate any real concerns about your own future."
"I beg to differ."
"Look, this isn't something to argue about. It's an established system with established ground rules that have worked fine for years, and you would be wise to respect it."
"Well, for one, I wasn't arguing. I was debating. For two, I could care less how old and tested a system is; if I dislike it, you or somebody else is gonna hear about it."
"And so you dislike this current system?"
"I never explicitly said that, but yes, there are dimensions of it I don't really appreciate."
"Like what?"
"Like the parents wielding more power than the student. It's an assumption that the students are all ignorant, arrogant, and careless regarding their own individual futures. Sure, that's true of certain students, but honestly, if they don't care now, they're not going to care later, and really shouldn't be holding down the rest of us bolt-and-screw."
"Your a smart boy, Kyran, and I know we've had these sorts of arguments before. I respect your views and can see what you mean, but honestly, it's not my call."
"Ok, well I've got a few more things to say."
"Make it quick, then."
"One: you completely avoided any actual response to my statement. Two: you're the Vice-Principal; if you aren't somehow capable of making changes, it frightens me to think of how stiff this current system is."
"I'm not really liking your attitude anymore."
"I apologize. Please, just respond accordingly."
"I'm a single member of a body of educational representatives that-"
"I don't remember voting in."
"Don't interrupt me, I was speaking."
"Sorry."
"I'm a single member of a body of educational representatives that are subject to a hierarchical chain of command, in some sense. I answer to the Principal, the Principal answers to the Superintendent, the Superintendent answers to the School Board, and the School Board answers to the parents."
"But the students are at the bottom of the chain? That hardly seems fair."
"Well, teenagers in general lack any real understanding of how important education actually is."
"'In general' is a broad term. You would be pleasantly surprised."
"Maybe so, but I have yet to see a vast majority of students who do truly care about their futures."
"I care about my future very much. Sorry if I don't make it seem like that, but I've got all the easy classes this semester, Film & TV, Guitar, English, and-"
"Look, I'm not necessarily talking about you-"
"But you're talking to me about it, and let me say I try very hard in English. So what, I skip from time to time? It means I prefer the current moment to a year from now, and that I like to enjoy the bigger world out there, instead of sitting around, cooped-up in a hot classroom reading Shakespeare's MacBeth, and stopping every 5 minutes to learn about some new metaphor we've come across. Frankly, it's a brilliant piece of work in my opinion, but I can't see myself being required to recite MacBeth at a job interview 3 years from now."
"You said you also take guitar?"
"I do."
"Do you see yourself whipping out a guitar during a job interview 3 years from now?"
"No, not really. Well, depends what job it is, I suppose."
"Then you see my point."
"I see what you're getting at, but I can't quite grasp your point, no."
"And why's that?"
"Well, I consider reading MacBeth actual school work. School work. I consider playing guitar my favorite hobby, aside from maybe writing and such, which would be in the same league."
"But I've heard you state many times that you enjoy reading, and as a writer, that should be a given."
"I do enjoy reading. But reading MacBeth means we then have to answer upwards of 10 questions on what we just read, and I don't really know about you, but when I read for the sake of reading, or for the sake of learning something, I don't pull out a questionnaire booklet to test myself on what I already know, especially when the material is a historical fiction, and not actual fact that needs to be ground into our heads like World War I or Louis Riel."
"I can see your point, Kyran, and you bring up many good points, but the bell is about to ring and I've got a meeting to attend."
"Alright, that's fine."
"Is there anything you'd like to add in the next 2 minutes?"
"Yes, actually."
*The Vice-Principal sighs a little as he leans back in this chair.*
"School, as a whole, is something designed to condition children who did once live on the whim of what their mind told them at any particular moment. They didn't worry about the future, did they? That worry was later programmed into them by beleaguered parents who were also conditioned by the same, or similar systems in years past. School is designed by society as a whole to condition the young mind and prepare it for years upon years of working to plug profit into a larger, national economic system. Such a system doesn't think of the individual, but of the collective; and although concern for the collective is justified, concern must also be shown for the individual for whom without which, the collective could not exist to the benefit of the rich representatives of the nation who are the only ones truly living life as it should be; free of any actual work. The school here itself told us we need to find a job in which we 'never work a day in our lives,' and I agree, but frankly I consider it work to worry about when that job will show up, or what it will be. I, myself, have learned that I need to live life for the moment, not for tomorrow or yesterday. I've learned that 'life is what happens while making other plans,' and as such, I follow nothing but the flow of where my mind, as well as my feet, take me. Sometimes, both at once tell me that it's much to linear and cooped-up inside a classroom, and I would rather be tapping into my creativity as opposed to learning a brand-new blues song in my guitar class. To the annoyance of my guitar teacher, I listen to both my head and my feet, and am quick to find a way out of that class and into the sun, where my head is clearer, and my creativity can flow."
*The bell rings. The Vice-Principal gets up and out of his chair.*
"You are a very smart cookie, Kyran, and I can certainly see what you're getting at. Plenty of people once thought like you, but have grown to understand that the future is just as important a the present, and as such, work towards their desired outcome. I think you will one day grow to understand that."
"No, I don't believe I will. At least not in the context you're thinking of. A wise man once said to me, that it was the process and not the outcome that matters. I think you would also be wise to take that into account."
"We're all free-thinkers here, young man. Now you need to get to class."
"Thanks for your time."
"Have a good day, Kyran. Keep up the quick thinking. It may be what gets you places one day."

Loving Life is Step 1

I apologize for my intermittent absence from the blogging world, but it's been with good cause, as I've been away from the computer, as well as the internet, for the past 3 days; and I have to say, it feels good to get away from time to time.

On Thursday, I ended up staying the night at a friends place south of town, despite the fact it was a school night. We watched the stars, but got to bed at a reasonable time, which was probably for the best, considering the fact that I had a performance the next day in my guitar class, in which I performed Cream's 'Sunshine of your Love' and Stevie Ray Vaughn's 'Pride and Joy.'
After taking the bus to school, to the surprise of my other good friends who lived in that general area, I went home for first block to shower and prepare for my performance in second block.
Despite the pre-performance jitters I got, I did my best, with one friend of mine going so far as to suggest that I had now stripped myself of public humility, or in other words, had truly grown enough to stop worrying about what people thought of me. I did make a couple mistakes, but with this town being as good natured as it is, no one really paid any attention, and I got piles of incredibly positive feedback from people I had never really talked to before.

After surviving the remainder of the school day, I was back on the same bus I had taken that same morning, returning south of town for a party at the same friend of mines place to which I had resided the night before. It was a musical jam party, for the most part, and for those who couldn't play any instruments or sing, they either listened and enjoyed, or went outside to simply enjoy the evening, or decided to be abit athletic and test their acrobatic skills on the trampoline, as well as play some simple sports (which I had never heard of before, and can't recall the name of for that reason).

After practically everyone had left, only four of us remained, and we decided to spend the night on the trampoline. It was quite an incredible experience.. the endless expanse of the stars, the seemingly boundless encirclement of nature, the humorously memorable conversations about nothing in particular, and cuddling up close to my girlfriend and falling asleep made for one hell of a night, and perhaps a night that foreshadowed many to come in the fast-approaching summer months. Summer time, and the livin' is easy.

Originally, I was seriously considering getting a job this summer due to my receiving pressure from my mom, with some back-up support coming from my dad and my best friend, but I'm starting to seriously reconsider, as this summer will be my last summer break before I graduate, and it's a given that I'll be working my ass off next summer to make money towards going to university. My girlfriend seems to agree with my reconsideration's, basically stating that you're 'only young once,' and honestly, despite all the inevitable good times to come my way in the future, this could be my last free summer ever, for all I know.

Due to this, I've decided to hold-off on jumping into the rat-race until next September at the latest, although I'm considering the possibility of finding a part-time job in August, providing the economy isn't one to throw me the big middle finger at that point. My mom might, considering the fact that she has been the one pressuring me so hard to get a job for quite awhile (and I don't mean that literally, mom, just, you know. Oh, and happy mothers day, I apologize for not vacuuming the house, if you're reading this).

Anyways, I've been abit sleep-deprived for the past couple of days, so I should probably head to bed so I'm well rested for school tomorrow. Peace out, blue planet, and have a Happy Mothers Day, moms of the world; you are the unseen heroes who are probably seen more often than popular culture is willing to admit.

Capitalism: A Love Story: Response Essay

Capitalism was once the most prosperous of all economic ideologies.
In all likelihood, it was destined to be temporary, and perhaps superficial, due to its initial success being attributed to the end of the Second World War, in which Europe was in no position to become an economic adversary to North American industry, and the same applied to most, if not all, of Asia. In later trends, Germany is seen picking itself up and out of the dirt and grime of its recent past, and into the clothing of a sleeker, almost aristocratic future, in which the German car industry forced many new pressures upon the economies of the former Allied nations.
The same occurred in Japan, which now boasts one the fastest growing global economies in the world, in which manufacturers such as Suzuki and Mitsubishi have had enough success in their homeland to break independently into the North American market.
Capitalism, in the contemporary age, has crippled equality in the United States, and seems to have handed the entire country over to corporate superpowers on a silver-platter. Such has yet to occur to any serious degree in Canada, but our system, being so closely tied with that of the States, has been tainted, as if a massacre of innocent pedestrians occurred next to a lake, and the blood now seeps into the body of water, tainting it red, bit by bit, practically unbeknownst to the lakes creatures.
The numbing of any real social common sense by means of corporately controlled advertisement has destroyed not only the middle-class, but has reduced the lower class to a bunch of incredibly dependent pseudo-slaves who work towards largely unattainable goals put in front of them by the likes of McDonalds Corp, Wal-Mart, Citibank, and the late AIG. In Canada, small enclaves of a similar existence are present, but for those wishing to simply escape, possibilities are always present, at least for the moment.
The neoconservative movement in the United States also plays a huge role in keeping the current system in place; the arbitrary proof being that they allowed Habeas Corpus to be suspended, voted in favor of an illegal war half-way across the world, allowed corporations to be classified as human beings under American law, as well as suck them dry of financial assets, but suddenly pulled out all the stops when the government decided to implement a universal health care plan for the general public. Using the claim that it would destroy the economy with the amount of money it would require, they fail to see the irony in the fact that they instead decided to use all of the countries money to inflict incredible harm, as opposed to heal innocent wounds, and that for some reason it’s an atrocity to attempt to do so. They use outright lies in an attempt to uphold the current capitalist system, and will settle for no less, using arrogantly ignorant right-wing southerners, as well as northerners, as their base of support.

It’s irrefutable; all of North America needs to stand against their current governments, and fight for what they believe in. That’s not to say I’m supporting armed revolution, at least not quite yet, but defenses are in need of being tested; the people need to see how far they can get, united as one. If all else fails, the governments may need to collapse in upon themselves.

I Thought It Meant.

I thought the numbers,
Meant something more.

I thought the counting,
Meant touching the floor.

I thought the windows,
Meant sight for the blind.

I thought the blinds,
Meant dark for good eyes.

I thought the ocean,
Meant something to drink.

I thought the boat,
Meant we're all gonna sink.

I thought to think,
Meant skipping the now.

I thought the now,
Meant not asking, 'How?'

I thought being dumb,
Meant acting all tough.

I thought being smart,
Meant you knew how to bluff.

I thought to smile,
Meant to convey the light.

I thought to frown,
Meant to convey your might.

I thought to watch,
Meant to take in the sight.

I thought what I thought,
Would always be right.

To think otherwise,
Let me reach a new height.

___

I thought to jump,
Meant to reach for the sky.

I thought to live,
Meant you were to die.

I thought that guns,
Meant bitches and bling.

I thought the knife,
Meant that "I want your things."

I thought to dance,
Meant to twirl left and right.

I thought the wind,
Meant flying a kite.

I thought to question,
Meant not to ask.

I thought to speak,
Was in no way a task.

I thought to sing,
Meant to feel others words.

I thought to walk,
Meant you don't walk in herds.

I thought to fight,
Meant to defend something yours.

I thought the numbers,
Meant something more.