Well, I should, admittedly, probably be sleeping.
I got off work at midnight, and I leave for Powell River at noon tomorrow.
But potential decision-points are floating around in my head like bullets which may never be fired.
Working at the hat-store, called Lids, in Burnaby's Metrotown Mall is a lot of fun. It's definitely something I would have no issue sticking with for months or even a couple years on end if the opportunity arose.
On the other hand, working at a McDonald's within a Wal-Mart seems like not only a double slap-in-the-face to most (if not all) of what I have stood for (and against) in the past couple of years; it is also exactly as I expected it would be. Droning, impersonal, monotonous, gratuitously wasteful, and something I wish to toss out of my life as quickly as I can.
Not only do I have numerous practical issues with working at a McDonald's; I also have numerous moral issues as well. For example: during one shift, I emptied all the bins of what is designated as 'recycling,' and carried the full bags into the back. When I asked where I should put these bags for proper disposal, the shift-manager at the time told me that "oh! We don't actually have recycling. We just toss it in with the rest of the garbage."
Concealing my annoyance at such dishonesty and ignorance, I simply laughed along with the shift manager and said, "Oh! I see. So we're just pretending to be green."
Now, the people working here in question are not dishonest or cruel. Although I did have one incident of being treated like I was less than a human being, 99% of my time at McDonald's has been acceptable people-wise. It simply seems as if the shift-managers, assistant managers, and the manager of this particular branch himself seem either one or two of three things: they have either surrendered to what they see as 'reality' as so they do not compromise their position and/or pay cheques (as I may very well be doing now); or they are apathetic and indifferent to details like the whole 'lying about recycling' thing; or.. and I'm sure this applies to at least a few of them.. they are simply ignorant, and that is why they have actually stuck around long enough to be of high status at McDonald's. It's as far as their aspirations seem to go.
Beyond my rather mixed life of labor, life here in Port Coquitlam has been trying in quite a few aspects.
One of the biggest issues, to me, is a lack of friends and family. Although I do have about 2 friends down here (one of which I am living with), and a 'mother' who has now adopted me as some sort of extended family, it still doesn't feel like home. It feels like a base I have established away from home in order to probe the world outside. And there's nothing really wrong with that, as it has given me a proper spoonful of everything I needed a spoonful of, whether it was the bitter stuff or the sweet stuff, but if a place barely feels like home after 2 months... chances are, it's not going to feel like home after another 2 months.
Between laborious nights at McDonald's and lonely days in bed, alongside the occasional onset of anxiety whether due to worrying about the mild ringing in my ears or my perceived feeling of improper breathing, and never having any friends to let-loose with every now and then aside from occasional jokes and quick chats over the phone, I have found myself driven to considering a return to my hometown of Powell River until I can figure both myself and my life out a bit more coherently.
I believe a return would be much appreciated on my end, but at the same time... I have wanted nothing more than to leave my hometown since Grade 10.
I guess the point is that when I said I wanted to 'leave home,' I never meant I wanted to exchange it for loneliness and McDonald's.
However, that's not to say I haven't had good times down here. I certainly have.
It's just that I still feel like I did in Grade 10, and it wasn't so much that I wanted to leave...
It was that I wanted to be free.
I'm still waiting to be free, and I refuse to wait much longer.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Random Question Self Interview: "Because Asking the Right Questions is the Answer."
Where do you feel completely safe and secure?
I feel completely safe and secure in my hometown of Powell River, whether I'm at my moms house, dads house, or a friends house. Or simply romping around town in general; it's a pretty safe place to be.
I also feel completely safe and secure in my significant others arms.
I know that's cheesy as fuck. Shut up.
What would make the world a better place right now?
A lot of things. That depends what you mean when you ask the question. Do you mean in a realistic sense, as in what could potentially occur right now? Because in that case... the success of the Occupy Wall Street movement would make the world a better place right now.
What do you typically do when you're sad?
I rant. A lot.
Both to myself, and to those who I'm close with, whether it's myself, my significant other, my mom, my dad, one of my best friends, or a friendly stranger. I always need to vent it.
I also enjoy simply zoning out watching TV, reading a good book, or playing video games. As well as sleeping, or pro-actively looking for ways to make the situation a better one.
What's something you can't stop doing?
Thinking about how much I want to be exploring the world right now.
I've been in that state of mind for the past 4 or 5 years.
What's something you need to start doing more often?
Working out.
And not just my token 2 sets of push-ups, and 2 sets of crunches. Nor how much I do tend to walk in a general sense (all of which is good for me, but I want to start working out in a more substantial sense).
I also need to start meditating.
What do you need to stop doing to yourself?
I need to stop having occasional episodes of pessimistic and fatalistic anxiety just because I'm feeling lonely, out of place, or worried about something.
What memory do you wish you could remember more clearly?
I'm not sure.
All of them.
But not in the sense that they're always on my mind... just that I can vividly pull them out of my head anytime I feel like it.
What has been complicating your life lately?
Plenty of things.
Confusing work schedules, work in a general sense, the distance between me and my significant other, medical issues like my skin and my ears, and just being in a new environment all-together.
Not that I'm complaining. It is what it is.
What are you looking for in life right now?
Freedom.
In the sense that I could get up and go travel the world right now on a whim. So, I suppose, I've been half-heartedly seeking financial freedom, like the rest of the Western world.
Also, I've been looking to properly re-center myself and return to my general bass-line of happiness that I had throughout my life in Powell River.
What are you addicted to?
Technology, I suppose.
However, I could live without it, I just very much prefer it.
What's something you should never waste?
An individuals unique spirit, as well as compassion and love in all of its forms.
What's something you can always lose yourself in?
Browsing the internet, writing poetry or music, and spending time with those who I'm close to; as well as adventuring.
What should you avoid to avoid heartache?
Superficial people, like wanna-be Jersey Shore guidos and girls, or those who over-indulge in the pick-up scene. However, some heart-ache is always an inevitability... but if you stick to genuine people, you're guaranteed to have a happy life.
What must you do to be happy?
Be making money doing something I love, or living in a situation in which I do not need money. I also need to be indulging in my passions and hobbies, as well as have lots of time to travel, spend time with friends and family, as well as relax with unstructured time, and be with my significant other.
What makes you feel comfortable?
Kind, friendly people in an interesting and friendly atmosphere.
I feel completely safe and secure in my hometown of Powell River, whether I'm at my moms house, dads house, or a friends house. Or simply romping around town in general; it's a pretty safe place to be.
I also feel completely safe and secure in my significant others arms.
I know that's cheesy as fuck. Shut up.
What would make the world a better place right now?
A lot of things. That depends what you mean when you ask the question. Do you mean in a realistic sense, as in what could potentially occur right now? Because in that case... the success of the Occupy Wall Street movement would make the world a better place right now.
What do you typically do when you're sad?
I rant. A lot.
Both to myself, and to those who I'm close with, whether it's myself, my significant other, my mom, my dad, one of my best friends, or a friendly stranger. I always need to vent it.
I also enjoy simply zoning out watching TV, reading a good book, or playing video games. As well as sleeping, or pro-actively looking for ways to make the situation a better one.
What's something you can't stop doing?
Thinking about how much I want to be exploring the world right now.
I've been in that state of mind for the past 4 or 5 years.
What's something you need to start doing more often?
Working out.
And not just my token 2 sets of push-ups, and 2 sets of crunches. Nor how much I do tend to walk in a general sense (all of which is good for me, but I want to start working out in a more substantial sense).
I also need to start meditating.
What do you need to stop doing to yourself?
I need to stop having occasional episodes of pessimistic and fatalistic anxiety just because I'm feeling lonely, out of place, or worried about something.
What memory do you wish you could remember more clearly?
I'm not sure.
All of them.
But not in the sense that they're always on my mind... just that I can vividly pull them out of my head anytime I feel like it.
What has been complicating your life lately?
Plenty of things.
Confusing work schedules, work in a general sense, the distance between me and my significant other, medical issues like my skin and my ears, and just being in a new environment all-together.
Not that I'm complaining. It is what it is.
What are you looking for in life right now?
Freedom.
In the sense that I could get up and go travel the world right now on a whim. So, I suppose, I've been half-heartedly seeking financial freedom, like the rest of the Western world.
Also, I've been looking to properly re-center myself and return to my general bass-line of happiness that I had throughout my life in Powell River.
What are you addicted to?
Technology, I suppose.
However, I could live without it, I just very much prefer it.
What's something you should never waste?
An individuals unique spirit, as well as compassion and love in all of its forms.
What's something you can always lose yourself in?
Browsing the internet, writing poetry or music, and spending time with those who I'm close to; as well as adventuring.
What should you avoid to avoid heartache?
Superficial people, like wanna-be Jersey Shore guidos and girls, or those who over-indulge in the pick-up scene. However, some heart-ache is always an inevitability... but if you stick to genuine people, you're guaranteed to have a happy life.
What must you do to be happy?
Be making money doing something I love, or living in a situation in which I do not need money. I also need to be indulging in my passions and hobbies, as well as have lots of time to travel, spend time with friends and family, as well as relax with unstructured time, and be with my significant other.
What makes you feel comfortable?
Kind, friendly people in an interesting and friendly atmosphere.
My Bucket List: Part 12
101: Get a radio show in Vancouver.
102: Perform slam poetry at Cafe du Soliel on Commercial Drive, and get noticed.
103: Win a slam poetry competition.
104: Study and live with Buddhist monks in India for a year or two.
105: Save up a solid $5000 during 2012.
106: Save up for and purchase the 64 GB iPhone 4S.
107: Return to Powell River for a month in June 2012; find a temporary job, and successfully get my N during that time.
108: Live in Downtown Vancouver, BC.
109: Live in Victoria, BC.
110: Live in Tunis, Tunisia.
102: Perform slam poetry at Cafe du Soliel on Commercial Drive, and get noticed.
103: Win a slam poetry competition.
104: Study and live with Buddhist monks in India for a year or two.
105: Save up a solid $5000 during 2012.
106: Save up for and purchase the 64 GB iPhone 4S.
107: Return to Powell River for a month in June 2012; find a temporary job, and successfully get my N during that time.
108: Live in Downtown Vancouver, BC.
109: Live in Victoria, BC.
110: Live in Tunis, Tunisia.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A Linguistic Demise
The word "death" is an oddly dismal representation of what occurs to us. Although one can 'die' in pain and fear, death itself is not necessarily so dismal and frightening as we so make it out to seem. People always talk of death as if someone is now gone. They are not gone; they are unconscious once again, in the same way they were unconscious prior to their birth. They were here before, and they will be here after. I will be here after. Not conceptually.. but I, as in everything I am, was, or ever will be.
The form I carry now will no longer be one, but every little bit and piece of it will still be out there, and over the course of many years, it will disperse into an infinite amount of other creations in and of the Universe.
Alter your perceptions as so they are more of a proper representation of what is; "life" is consciousness, and "death," unconsciousness. In the greater greater scheme of things, there was never a beginning, and there will never be an end.
Perhaps we can, or perhaps we do consciously return, whether to this same space in a different time, a different space in the same time, the same space in the same time, or a different space in a different time; frankly, I don't know. I may never know, even if it occurs to me, and this applies to all of us. As far as I see it, it is strange enough I was born once, it would not surprise me were I born a second time, or an infinite amount of times. But that does not mean I was, or that I will be, and regardless, both options I never arrived, nor that I will ever truly leave, whether I slip into eternal unconsciousness or not.
'Conscious' and 'unconscious' are both representations as well. A false dichotomy, I suppose you could say, in the same way that all dichotomies are false. 'Birth' and 'death' are both ideas; explanations, justifications, orientations. Although my current form came to be in my mothers whomb through my being conceived, who I am and who I would be already existed. A choice and much chance brought me into consciousness, whilst chance and/or a lack of choice will either return me to unconsciousness, another consciousness, or an infinite amount of other possibilities. And this all applies to everyone who exists, regardless of what or where they may be now.
The bottom line is that everyone and everything that has ever existed, exists, or will exist, exists right now. They never didn't, and always will.
The form I carry now will no longer be one, but every little bit and piece of it will still be out there, and over the course of many years, it will disperse into an infinite amount of other creations in and of the Universe.
Alter your perceptions as so they are more of a proper representation of what is; "life" is consciousness, and "death," unconsciousness. In the greater greater scheme of things, there was never a beginning, and there will never be an end.
Perhaps we can, or perhaps we do consciously return, whether to this same space in a different time, a different space in the same time, the same space in the same time, or a different space in a different time; frankly, I don't know. I may never know, even if it occurs to me, and this applies to all of us. As far as I see it, it is strange enough I was born once, it would not surprise me were I born a second time, or an infinite amount of times. But that does not mean I was, or that I will be, and regardless, both options I never arrived, nor that I will ever truly leave, whether I slip into eternal unconsciousness or not.
'Conscious' and 'unconscious' are both representations as well. A false dichotomy, I suppose you could say, in the same way that all dichotomies are false. 'Birth' and 'death' are both ideas; explanations, justifications, orientations. Although my current form came to be in my mothers whomb through my being conceived, who I am and who I would be already existed. A choice and much chance brought me into consciousness, whilst chance and/or a lack of choice will either return me to unconsciousness, another consciousness, or an infinite amount of other possibilities. And this all applies to everyone who exists, regardless of what or where they may be now.
The bottom line is that everyone and everything that has ever existed, exists, or will exist, exists right now. They never didn't, and always will.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Possible Anxiety and the Onset of (Dear God, Hopefully) Temporary Tinnitus
Hello blue planet!
I apologize for the lack of posts in the past couple of days. I've been busy in almost all aspects of life, as far as I can tell.
First and foremost, let me address the title of the post. The main, and most alarming thing as of right now (which I am starting to calm down in regards to) is the constant ringing in my left ear that I've been experiencing at the level of a frightening nuisance since Friday morning. That ringing also seems to carry itself, every now and then, into my right ear. All of this was accompanied by some strange issue with my neck.. most likely a swollen lymph node, which I experienced and recovered from a couple of months back as well. At the moment, it appears the neck issue may have figured itself out after having my first decent nights sleep since the ringing started (thanks to cyclic ambient music and white noise applications for the iPod Touch). It may be too soon to tell for sure, however, so we'll see if the well-being sticks around for the rest of the day, as well as the rest of the week.
I've been frightening myself, most predominantly, with the ringing in my ear, occasionally ear(s) (right now, there is a general buzzing which I believe everyone hears when it's quiet, as told by many people I know, in my left ear.. and a ringing in my right ear, perhaps exacerbated or created entirely by the screeching sounds that fancy electronics seem to make in this day and age, but can be attributed most recognizably to that low whirring sound that TV's always make when they're on, or heard from a distant room) by reading up on what it could potentially, or most likely be online. Both the most comforting and most likely cause I've dug up is an inner ear infection in my left ear, which may very well be ironically egged-on by the stress and anxiety created by worrying myself over it (trust me; you'd be stressed and anxious to, if it managed to keep you up at night without some other sort of sound to mask it). Each time I hear it, however, I always wonder how much of it is just psychological, and how much really is a physical issue. I've decided not to seriously worry over it anymore unless it lasts past a couple weeks. Regardless, I plan on going to a walk-in medical clinic somewhere in the city to get a check-up and, hopefully, rule out the worst case scenarios. Perhaps a psychiatric assessment might be something to look into as well.. even if I do have some philosophical issues with even considering I suffer from anxiety, paranoia, or the like.
I also scared myself wondering if I had done some permanent damage to my hearing by listening to music, sometimes quite loud, using ear-buds for the past couple of years. Although such a possibility has yet to be ruled out, I doubt it would cause such a serious reaction so early. It would be more likely play into the hearing ability of 30 year old me as opposed to 18 year old me. I mean, how many teenagers in the past 70 years haven't incessantly listened to loud music?
There is also popping when I swallow, and occasionally when I yawn... so it may be something to do with pressure or, like I said before, an inner ear infection.
Yesterday, when my throat was seriously acting up, I felt like I wasn't able to breath properly. I was getting enough air in my lungs, but it felt like my neck was going to choke up on itself any minute. That, coupled with the ringing (which either wasn't there at the time or was masked by the constant sounds of the city) coaxed me into checking-in to Emergency at Vancouver General Hospital. When the doctor finally got around to checking me out and feeling my neck, as well as taking a peak into my ear, he said there was nothing immediately apparent or dramatic that seemed to be wrong with me, and suggested it was probably something viral that I'd caught. Although his diagnoses was a significant comfort in terms of my neck, I can't say he went very in-depth in any regards (I mean.. why would he? He's working emergency, which = quick check, and you're either dealt with accordingly, or there's nothing seriously wrong with you). For this reason, a walk-in medical clinic may be a better option in more of an in-depth look into what it could potentially be.
The doctor may have said there was nothing wrong with my outer ear (as in, ahead of the ear drum), he didn't check the inner ear (which is the area that, if infected, would indeed cause my ear, or ears, to ring).
I'm just scared that I may have chronic tinnitus, that's my biggest concern; it is, quite literally, one of the worst ailments you could ever possibly have. However, I am 18, so it is most likely something simpler and less menacing; I'm just hoping I'm not the first affliction in a series of many which mark a sign of the times regarding overuse of ear-buds on close to full volume.
We'll see, I'll keep everyone updated.
I believe the low whirring of the computer is causing my ears to ring much louder than they would otherwise.
Apart from all of this, work and my social life are going well. I've now got two jobs; working at a McDonald's that doubles under the auspices of a Wal-Mart in Port Coquitlam, as well as working at Lids, a new-age hat store in the Metrotown Mall in Burnaby. I've also succeeded in tracking down an old friend of mine who lives in the area and whom was almost nearly impossible to catch up with prior due to his lack of a working phone or his own computer. We hung out the other day, finally, and spoke about philosophy, the OWS movement, and the possibility of some sort of New World Order (which I've always been skeptical of, but I listened to his arguments regardless). So, providing the whirring and ringing in my ears finally subside, and my throat stays better, life is, and will be pretty good.
I'm also somewhat looking forward to Christmas and seeing my family.
Peace out, blue planet; I hope you're having a great Holiday season.
I apologize for the lack of posts in the past couple of days. I've been busy in almost all aspects of life, as far as I can tell.
First and foremost, let me address the title of the post. The main, and most alarming thing as of right now (which I am starting to calm down in regards to) is the constant ringing in my left ear that I've been experiencing at the level of a frightening nuisance since Friday morning. That ringing also seems to carry itself, every now and then, into my right ear. All of this was accompanied by some strange issue with my neck.. most likely a swollen lymph node, which I experienced and recovered from a couple of months back as well. At the moment, it appears the neck issue may have figured itself out after having my first decent nights sleep since the ringing started (thanks to cyclic ambient music and white noise applications for the iPod Touch). It may be too soon to tell for sure, however, so we'll see if the well-being sticks around for the rest of the day, as well as the rest of the week.
I've been frightening myself, most predominantly, with the ringing in my ear, occasionally ear(s) (right now, there is a general buzzing which I believe everyone hears when it's quiet, as told by many people I know, in my left ear.. and a ringing in my right ear, perhaps exacerbated or created entirely by the screeching sounds that fancy electronics seem to make in this day and age, but can be attributed most recognizably to that low whirring sound that TV's always make when they're on, or heard from a distant room) by reading up on what it could potentially, or most likely be online. Both the most comforting and most likely cause I've dug up is an inner ear infection in my left ear, which may very well be ironically egged-on by the stress and anxiety created by worrying myself over it (trust me; you'd be stressed and anxious to, if it managed to keep you up at night without some other sort of sound to mask it). Each time I hear it, however, I always wonder how much of it is just psychological, and how much really is a physical issue. I've decided not to seriously worry over it anymore unless it lasts past a couple weeks. Regardless, I plan on going to a walk-in medical clinic somewhere in the city to get a check-up and, hopefully, rule out the worst case scenarios. Perhaps a psychiatric assessment might be something to look into as well.. even if I do have some philosophical issues with even considering I suffer from anxiety, paranoia, or the like.
I also scared myself wondering if I had done some permanent damage to my hearing by listening to music, sometimes quite loud, using ear-buds for the past couple of years. Although such a possibility has yet to be ruled out, I doubt it would cause such a serious reaction so early. It would be more likely play into the hearing ability of 30 year old me as opposed to 18 year old me. I mean, how many teenagers in the past 70 years haven't incessantly listened to loud music?
There is also popping when I swallow, and occasionally when I yawn... so it may be something to do with pressure or, like I said before, an inner ear infection.
Yesterday, when my throat was seriously acting up, I felt like I wasn't able to breath properly. I was getting enough air in my lungs, but it felt like my neck was going to choke up on itself any minute. That, coupled with the ringing (which either wasn't there at the time or was masked by the constant sounds of the city) coaxed me into checking-in to Emergency at Vancouver General Hospital. When the doctor finally got around to checking me out and feeling my neck, as well as taking a peak into my ear, he said there was nothing immediately apparent or dramatic that seemed to be wrong with me, and suggested it was probably something viral that I'd caught. Although his diagnoses was a significant comfort in terms of my neck, I can't say he went very in-depth in any regards (I mean.. why would he? He's working emergency, which = quick check, and you're either dealt with accordingly, or there's nothing seriously wrong with you). For this reason, a walk-in medical clinic may be a better option in more of an in-depth look into what it could potentially be.
The doctor may have said there was nothing wrong with my outer ear (as in, ahead of the ear drum), he didn't check the inner ear (which is the area that, if infected, would indeed cause my ear, or ears, to ring).
I'm just scared that I may have chronic tinnitus, that's my biggest concern; it is, quite literally, one of the worst ailments you could ever possibly have. However, I am 18, so it is most likely something simpler and less menacing; I'm just hoping I'm not the first affliction in a series of many which mark a sign of the times regarding overuse of ear-buds on close to full volume.
We'll see, I'll keep everyone updated.
I believe the low whirring of the computer is causing my ears to ring much louder than they would otherwise.
Apart from all of this, work and my social life are going well. I've now got two jobs; working at a McDonald's that doubles under the auspices of a Wal-Mart in Port Coquitlam, as well as working at Lids, a new-age hat store in the Metrotown Mall in Burnaby. I've also succeeded in tracking down an old friend of mine who lives in the area and whom was almost nearly impossible to catch up with prior due to his lack of a working phone or his own computer. We hung out the other day, finally, and spoke about philosophy, the OWS movement, and the possibility of some sort of New World Order (which I've always been skeptical of, but I listened to his arguments regardless). So, providing the whirring and ringing in my ears finally subside, and my throat stays better, life is, and will be pretty good.
I'm also somewhat looking forward to Christmas and seeing my family.
Peace out, blue planet; I hope you're having a great Holiday season.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
All theory is, is just that; theory. Nothing can truly frame or encapsulate life in an idea, word(s), or any mode of expression. The nature of anything and everything is intrinsically intangible.
M.P.: Mathematics offer a truer expression of the universe than has ever been found, and the computer you are typing on is as good proof as any that it works.
Me: Mathematics expresses a framework. It is a tool, and is used as such, but it is a framework and does not dictate anything and everything. It can't explain everything, and it only expresses one aspect of life in the universe.
C.K.: Indeed, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
M.P.: Math doesn't dictate the universe, the universe dictates mathematics. Math is the language of the universe and everything inside the universe so far as we can tell, can be expressed mathematically.The reason why spiritual things can't be expressed mathematically is that it is a construct of human imagination and fear. Nothing more, nothing less.
C.K.: Language & music are also constructs, or realizations, of human imagination, & music can be expressed & uunderstood mathematically, although we don't usually do that while we are being moved by it. Mathematics is a very useful, & beautiful, tool, a facet of understanding. As with all tools, however sophisticated, it does however have its limits.
M.P.: I would hesitate to equate language and music with spirituality. Sure, they are both our constructs, but they are also concrete things that are tangible and relatable to physical world as well as having a deep seated emotional place in our minds. I would sooner equate spirituality with love. Love seems like such a mystical, unknowable special thing, yet when you think about it, love is just the tool that evolution used to pair bond us when we hit the tipping point in our past where monogamy became evolutionarily favourable over polygamy.
The same goes for spirituality. Our brains are incredibly powerful, yet very fallible machines. If you've ever read a book about optical illusions you may know what I'm talking about. Pages seemingly becoming 3D is not a trick of light, but our brains failing to recognize what it's looking at. compound this with lack of knowledge about what one is looking at and the human tendancy to make arguments from ignorance (eg: "I see a weird object in the sky. I don't know what it is. Therefore, it must be aliens."). Put all these together and you have an explanation for all sorts of weird spiritual practices prevalent in humanity without having to resort to metaphysics.
Me: The dry evolutionary worldview, once again, is an effective tool for the sake of explanation and reasoning. Evolution itself was and is much more of a complicated and beautiful process than all the books in the world could explain, and science is a way of explaining and connecting things. It has nowhere near found certainty, and nothing in existence can be boiled down to a theory of knowledge that can define existence itself. It can only give us an outline. Knowledge has limits, and existence, to me, is objective AND subjective, not one or the other. Although the original reasons for why we do certain things can be traced back in evolution, the reasons for why we do them now are completely new ones, and steeped in the greater evolution and progression of our intelligences and beauty, as well as creativity. Our reasons now are no longer primitive, but spiritual with our understanding as to why we do them, and with the realization that we have a large amount of choice in the matter.
I'm not talking about religious spirituality, nor am I implying there are things like a heaven and hell we must abide to. Spirituality is the act of living every moment to it's fullest and being happy about it, as opposed to standing back and observing everything, which also has it's time and place, and can be carried out spiritually as well. Passivity versus passion.
Another thing to recognize and obtain is wisdom. As a human being, I recognize that in all honesty, I cannot know everything, and may very well know nothing. "Doubt is not a comfortable feeling, but certainty is absurd."
M.P.: Our universe is ordered, and we know that it's laws have been at least relatively consistent since the big bang by charting the movements of celestial bodies. If the universe is ordered, then we can use its own laws and mechanisms to describe how it is ordered. This is the basis of mathematics. Mathematics only work because of the way the universe works. Math is a language dictated by the universe.
Me: Math is a language that speaks, once again, a framework. It doesn't know all the words.Think about it. Yes, math can calculate the movement of celestial bodies, but recently scientists and mathematicians realized a majority of there mathematics formulas- which told them that most of the celestial bodies they were observing should, logically, eventually move out of orbit, realized there was something large missing, as these planets did NOT move out of their orbits as predicted. In order to reconcile these formulas with observation and make them even have a semblance of sense, they had to add a variable to the mix- the 'fudge factor' known as Dark Matter, or Dark Energy, or whatever you want to call it. No one has any idea what Dark Matter is, could, would, or should be; it's simply been arbitrarily added to the equations because it's the only way to make said formulas and equations make sense in light of observation which has countered all scientific logic. Turns out.. whatever Dark Matter or Dark Energy is, it makes up 90% of the cosmos.That's a lot to sweep under the rug, and then decide the Universe is inherently ordered and now makes sense. All science and mathematics do are recognize patterns on our level of perspective. I mean.. also consider quantum mechanics and chaos theory. Both are, in essence, paradoxes in the scientific and mathematic worlds. The only patterns that have been noted are patterns of consistently breaking patterns and being unpredictable, or predictable only to a certain degree. The Universe is not inherently anything, as far as anyone can see, and anyone, whether they are religious or scientific, are fooling themselves if they decide otherwise.
Despite ambitions and, perhaps, illusions to the contrary, the message that science brings is that what we know is so vastly outstripped by what we don't know.
M.P.: The fact that we don't know what dark matter or energy is does not mean that the universe is unordered. It just means that there is a phenomena out there that we don't know about yet. What you say about quantum mechanics is downright untrue. Quantum physics behaves in a way completely outside the realm of human comprehension, but it can still be modeled mathematically which is why we are able to use it. Nobody can understand the true nature of an electron intuitively, but through the use of rigorous testing and a great deal of mathematics we can describe its properties and behavior even if it doesn't make intuitive sense to the physicist.
As for the uncertainty principal and the way it means that we can't accurately find the momentum and position of a particle at a certain scale, that is not a failing of mathematics or our abilities of perception, it is a reflection of the nature of the particle. It acts as a particle but also as a wave like nothing we are familiar with and so there isn't any actual information at that certain range. The momentum and position of the particle in question is actually a probability distribution as opposed to a newtonian absolute.
I also agree that even with a billion years, we'll never understand everything in the cosmos, but that won't be because it can't be theorized, only that it takes so much data and so much precision to describe sonething like a protein mathematically that it isn't worth our time to do it when there are other ways of getting the information using the principals of physics and chemistry applied in certain ways. That is how specialized sciences like chemistry and biology came into being and why they still exist. But these thugs still can be described physically.
Me: Math attempts to express, just like language does, things that are inherently intangible, but understandable in the abstract sense they are framed in via mathematics. If something is not intuitively understood, it is not really understood or understandable. It can only be expressed as an abstract, which math does incredibly well, but not as accurately or as realistically as intuition could were such things as quantum physics and the entirety of the Universe actually able to be experienced. Sadly, as human beings, all we are able to do is experience from our level of perspective on planet Earth. Beyond all of this, whether we are looking into what makes us and the Earth, or what is in the vastness of the cosmos, we are only curious and deductive spectators. We can and will not ever understand everything.
I mean.. think about it. What's going to give you a better understanding of my house? My description of it to you? Sure, it could be quite accurate and detailed, but you wouldn't really understand until you experienced my house for yourself.. as in, touched it, saw it, and explored it.
We cannot do that on the quantum level, nor can we do that on a cosmological level.
In all of these cases, we only taste the truth. No matter how in-depth or comprehensive we get.
Negative capability is a proper way to humble our scientific, philosophical, and psychological arrogance.
Me: Mathematics expresses a framework. It is a tool, and is used as such, but it is a framework and does not dictate anything and everything. It can't explain everything, and it only expresses one aspect of life in the universe.
C.K.: Indeed, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
M.P.: Math doesn't dictate the universe, the universe dictates mathematics. Math is the language of the universe and everything inside the universe so far as we can tell, can be expressed mathematically.The reason why spiritual things can't be expressed mathematically is that it is a construct of human imagination and fear. Nothing more, nothing less.
C.K.: Language & music are also constructs, or realizations, of human imagination, & music can be expressed & uunderstood mathematically, although we don't usually do that while we are being moved by it. Mathematics is a very useful, & beautiful, tool, a facet of understanding. As with all tools, however sophisticated, it does however have its limits.
M.P.: I would hesitate to equate language and music with spirituality. Sure, they are both our constructs, but they are also concrete things that are tangible and relatable to physical world as well as having a deep seated emotional place in our minds. I would sooner equate spirituality with love. Love seems like such a mystical, unknowable special thing, yet when you think about it, love is just the tool that evolution used to pair bond us when we hit the tipping point in our past where monogamy became evolutionarily favourable over polygamy.
The same goes for spirituality. Our brains are incredibly powerful, yet very fallible machines. If you've ever read a book about optical illusions you may know what I'm talking about. Pages seemingly becoming 3D is not a trick of light, but our brains failing to recognize what it's looking at. compound this with lack of knowledge about what one is looking at and the human tendancy to make arguments from ignorance (eg: "I see a weird object in the sky. I don't know what it is. Therefore, it must be aliens."). Put all these together and you have an explanation for all sorts of weird spiritual practices prevalent in humanity without having to resort to metaphysics.
Me: The dry evolutionary worldview, once again, is an effective tool for the sake of explanation and reasoning. Evolution itself was and is much more of a complicated and beautiful process than all the books in the world could explain, and science is a way of explaining and connecting things. It has nowhere near found certainty, and nothing in existence can be boiled down to a theory of knowledge that can define existence itself. It can only give us an outline. Knowledge has limits, and existence, to me, is objective AND subjective, not one or the other. Although the original reasons for why we do certain things can be traced back in evolution, the reasons for why we do them now are completely new ones, and steeped in the greater evolution and progression of our intelligences and beauty, as well as creativity. Our reasons now are no longer primitive, but spiritual with our understanding as to why we do them, and with the realization that we have a large amount of choice in the matter.
I'm not talking about religious spirituality, nor am I implying there are things like a heaven and hell we must abide to. Spirituality is the act of living every moment to it's fullest and being happy about it, as opposed to standing back and observing everything, which also has it's time and place, and can be carried out spiritually as well. Passivity versus passion.
Another thing to recognize and obtain is wisdom. As a human being, I recognize that in all honesty, I cannot know everything, and may very well know nothing. "Doubt is not a comfortable feeling, but certainty is absurd."
M.P.: Our universe is ordered, and we know that it's laws have been at least relatively consistent since the big bang by charting the movements of celestial bodies. If the universe is ordered, then we can use its own laws and mechanisms to describe how it is ordered. This is the basis of mathematics. Mathematics only work because of the way the universe works. Math is a language dictated by the universe.
Me: Math is a language that speaks, once again, a framework. It doesn't know all the words.Think about it. Yes, math can calculate the movement of celestial bodies, but recently scientists and mathematicians realized a majority of there mathematics formulas- which told them that most of the celestial bodies they were observing should, logically, eventually move out of orbit, realized there was something large missing, as these planets did NOT move out of their orbits as predicted. In order to reconcile these formulas with observation and make them even have a semblance of sense, they had to add a variable to the mix- the 'fudge factor' known as Dark Matter, or Dark Energy, or whatever you want to call it. No one has any idea what Dark Matter is, could, would, or should be; it's simply been arbitrarily added to the equations because it's the only way to make said formulas and equations make sense in light of observation which has countered all scientific logic. Turns out.. whatever Dark Matter or Dark Energy is, it makes up 90% of the cosmos.That's a lot to sweep under the rug, and then decide the Universe is inherently ordered and now makes sense. All science and mathematics do are recognize patterns on our level of perspective. I mean.. also consider quantum mechanics and chaos theory. Both are, in essence, paradoxes in the scientific and mathematic worlds. The only patterns that have been noted are patterns of consistently breaking patterns and being unpredictable, or predictable only to a certain degree. The Universe is not inherently anything, as far as anyone can see, and anyone, whether they are religious or scientific, are fooling themselves if they decide otherwise.
Despite ambitions and, perhaps, illusions to the contrary, the message that science brings is that what we know is so vastly outstripped by what we don't know.
M.P.: The fact that we don't know what dark matter or energy is does not mean that the universe is unordered. It just means that there is a phenomena out there that we don't know about yet. What you say about quantum mechanics is downright untrue. Quantum physics behaves in a way completely outside the realm of human comprehension, but it can still be modeled mathematically which is why we are able to use it. Nobody can understand the true nature of an electron intuitively, but through the use of rigorous testing and a great deal of mathematics we can describe its properties and behavior even if it doesn't make intuitive sense to the physicist.
As for the uncertainty principal and the way it means that we can't accurately find the momentum and position of a particle at a certain scale, that is not a failing of mathematics or our abilities of perception, it is a reflection of the nature of the particle. It acts as a particle but also as a wave like nothing we are familiar with and so there isn't any actual information at that certain range. The momentum and position of the particle in question is actually a probability distribution as opposed to a newtonian absolute.
I also agree that even with a billion years, we'll never understand everything in the cosmos, but that won't be because it can't be theorized, only that it takes so much data and so much precision to describe sonething like a protein mathematically that it isn't worth our time to do it when there are other ways of getting the information using the principals of physics and chemistry applied in certain ways. That is how specialized sciences like chemistry and biology came into being and why they still exist. But these thugs still can be described physically.
Me: Math attempts to express, just like language does, things that are inherently intangible, but understandable in the abstract sense they are framed in via mathematics. If something is not intuitively understood, it is not really understood or understandable. It can only be expressed as an abstract, which math does incredibly well, but not as accurately or as realistically as intuition could were such things as quantum physics and the entirety of the Universe actually able to be experienced. Sadly, as human beings, all we are able to do is experience from our level of perspective on planet Earth. Beyond all of this, whether we are looking into what makes us and the Earth, or what is in the vastness of the cosmos, we are only curious and deductive spectators. We can and will not ever understand everything.
I mean.. think about it. What's going to give you a better understanding of my house? My description of it to you? Sure, it could be quite accurate and detailed, but you wouldn't really understand until you experienced my house for yourself.. as in, touched it, saw it, and explored it.
We cannot do that on the quantum level, nor can we do that on a cosmological level.
In all of these cases, we only taste the truth. No matter how in-depth or comprehensive we get.
Negative capability is a proper way to humble our scientific, philosophical, and psychological arrogance.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
On the Unalterable Truth to 'Happiness' or 'Suffering.'
It seems that we are constantly fighting a battle.
It is, in many regards, an imaginary battle inside of our brains, and perhaps it proves the AdBusters slogan that "World War III will be fought inside our minds."
As a species, we are going through a stage of great transition, in which spiritual certainties have been tossed out of the mainstream and into obscurity, and replaced by both scientifically-driven uncertainty, or scientifically motivated pushes for some sort of objective certainty.
In many circles, it seems to have been established that 'happiness' resides outside of the scientific truths, and resides only in what staunch scientists would consider to be the naive minds of the spiritually certain.
This is epitomized in Voltaire's quote: "Happiness is an illusion; only suffering is real."
Now, the strange thing is, Voltaire himself did not seem like a generally unhappy person. Although it is undeniable that he went through plenty of trials during his lifetime (as all human beings naturally do), he lived a full and exciting life with many critics and many fans, and just as many enemies and allies.
One thing to note in reading quotations of any sort is that truth is spoken in every single one of them, the above quotation included.
However, this is a hypocrisy as there are plenty of other quotations that support happiness as an unalterable truth, and others that tell us it is alright to commit homicide, genocide, or (God forbid) even infanticide. There is more power in any and all words that are given the extra merit of quotation marks followed by a dash and the italicized name of the individual who spoke them, which is undoubtedly added to if the individual has been dead for years, decades, centuries, or millenia and therefore has been cemented as having spoken a truth that appeals to an objective reality.
Wisdom, in all cases, supersedes intellectual ability and one must have both in order to be a true and honest intellectual. One of the many honest truths in life is that there is no single and objective honest truth regarding anything at all. Even your very existence is infinitely questionable. Our current struggle for happiness and our seeming inabilities to obtain said happiness arises most prominently from within ourselves as opposed to external societal pressures (although said pressures are a contributor), and can be found in our lust to pursue it. Voltaire is correct when he says 'happiness' is an illusion in the sense that we seem to lust for it as we lust for so many other feelings and things within our lives, and hence, feel the need to pursue it, expending all of our time, energy, and resources on things that may have satisfied us for a moment, but always leave us disillusioned in the long-run when we consider that it was a nice kick while it lasted, but only while it lasted. Hence, we continue to 'pursue' happiness as if it's something that can and should be caught, as Benjamin Franklin suggested. It is essentially these predetermined expectations remaining eternally unfulfilled that lead to our endless sufferings, whether it is something as complicated as existential suffering, or as simple as unrequited love or a lack of general satisfaction. 'Suffering,' to, is just as much an illusion as the expected happiness outlined above, and is only reached when someone gives up on their long-term goal of 'one day becoming happy,' and instead decides to live exclusively in the present; or, not so much 'live' in the present as 'die' in the present. The human mind, one must realize, is a delusion generator, even in the minds of the giants upon whose shoulders we stand (ironically, probably more often in their minds as opposed to others as they have both a vast conscious and unconscious ability of thought which can find the time and energy to prove and justify just about anything quite convincingly and credibly).
The truth is that both 'happiness' and 'suffering' are nothing but ideas. Words used to define and categorize intrinsically intangible aspects of our experiences, placing them in a box of thought and selling them as this, that, or the other thing. 'Happiness' and 'suffering' are both blanket terms which can, should, and are used in an attempt to describe or define many different things; from physical pleasure to physical pain, psychological contentedness to psychological discontent, satisfaction to frustration, and so on and so forth, all of which are, in themselves, a micromanaged attempt to define and categorize intangible experiences. It is when one realizes that most of their 'happiness' or 'suffering' arises from a tug of war between conceptual ideas both claiming, at different capacities, to be an objective truth, and which can create deep inner turmoil for those who make an attempt to buy into one or the other, or see one or the other as potentially being the one and only objective truth, that one can take a step back from everything. Once that step back has been taken, the individual will notice that each and every quote, claim, religion, scientific theory, and individual outlook speaks a truth. But not an inalienable, all-enveloping truth. Just a truth in a universe that does not even recognize truth, as truth is nothing but an idea as well, and is simply one of the many words we use in an attempt to define the intangible.
Does that make it any less honest?
Of course not. Have faith in yourself and in others, and have faith in the universe as well. Beyond these 3 aspects of life, have faith in anything you wish to have faith in.
"The only thing that we know is that we know nothing, and that is the highest flight of human wisdom." -Aristotle.
And wisdom seems to be something that the world today lacks quite abundantly.
It is, in many regards, an imaginary battle inside of our brains, and perhaps it proves the AdBusters slogan that "World War III will be fought inside our minds."
As a species, we are going through a stage of great transition, in which spiritual certainties have been tossed out of the mainstream and into obscurity, and replaced by both scientifically-driven uncertainty, or scientifically motivated pushes for some sort of objective certainty.
In many circles, it seems to have been established that 'happiness' resides outside of the scientific truths, and resides only in what staunch scientists would consider to be the naive minds of the spiritually certain.
This is epitomized in Voltaire's quote: "Happiness is an illusion; only suffering is real."
Now, the strange thing is, Voltaire himself did not seem like a generally unhappy person. Although it is undeniable that he went through plenty of trials during his lifetime (as all human beings naturally do), he lived a full and exciting life with many critics and many fans, and just as many enemies and allies.
One thing to note in reading quotations of any sort is that truth is spoken in every single one of them, the above quotation included.
However, this is a hypocrisy as there are plenty of other quotations that support happiness as an unalterable truth, and others that tell us it is alright to commit homicide, genocide, or (God forbid) even infanticide. There is more power in any and all words that are given the extra merit of quotation marks followed by a dash and the italicized name of the individual who spoke them, which is undoubtedly added to if the individual has been dead for years, decades, centuries, or millenia and therefore has been cemented as having spoken a truth that appeals to an objective reality.
Wisdom, in all cases, supersedes intellectual ability and one must have both in order to be a true and honest intellectual. One of the many honest truths in life is that there is no single and objective honest truth regarding anything at all. Even your very existence is infinitely questionable. Our current struggle for happiness and our seeming inabilities to obtain said happiness arises most prominently from within ourselves as opposed to external societal pressures (although said pressures are a contributor), and can be found in our lust to pursue it. Voltaire is correct when he says 'happiness' is an illusion in the sense that we seem to lust for it as we lust for so many other feelings and things within our lives, and hence, feel the need to pursue it, expending all of our time, energy, and resources on things that may have satisfied us for a moment, but always leave us disillusioned in the long-run when we consider that it was a nice kick while it lasted, but only while it lasted. Hence, we continue to 'pursue' happiness as if it's something that can and should be caught, as Benjamin Franklin suggested. It is essentially these predetermined expectations remaining eternally unfulfilled that lead to our endless sufferings, whether it is something as complicated as existential suffering, or as simple as unrequited love or a lack of general satisfaction. 'Suffering,' to, is just as much an illusion as the expected happiness outlined above, and is only reached when someone gives up on their long-term goal of 'one day becoming happy,' and instead decides to live exclusively in the present; or, not so much 'live' in the present as 'die' in the present. The human mind, one must realize, is a delusion generator, even in the minds of the giants upon whose shoulders we stand (ironically, probably more often in their minds as opposed to others as they have both a vast conscious and unconscious ability of thought which can find the time and energy to prove and justify just about anything quite convincingly and credibly).
The truth is that both 'happiness' and 'suffering' are nothing but ideas. Words used to define and categorize intrinsically intangible aspects of our experiences, placing them in a box of thought and selling them as this, that, or the other thing. 'Happiness' and 'suffering' are both blanket terms which can, should, and are used in an attempt to describe or define many different things; from physical pleasure to physical pain, psychological contentedness to psychological discontent, satisfaction to frustration, and so on and so forth, all of which are, in themselves, a micromanaged attempt to define and categorize intangible experiences. It is when one realizes that most of their 'happiness' or 'suffering' arises from a tug of war between conceptual ideas both claiming, at different capacities, to be an objective truth, and which can create deep inner turmoil for those who make an attempt to buy into one or the other, or see one or the other as potentially being the one and only objective truth, that one can take a step back from everything. Once that step back has been taken, the individual will notice that each and every quote, claim, religion, scientific theory, and individual outlook speaks a truth. But not an inalienable, all-enveloping truth. Just a truth in a universe that does not even recognize truth, as truth is nothing but an idea as well, and is simply one of the many words we use in an attempt to define the intangible.
Does that make it any less honest?
Of course not. Have faith in yourself and in others, and have faith in the universe as well. Beyond these 3 aspects of life, have faith in anything you wish to have faith in.
"The only thing that we know is that we know nothing, and that is the highest flight of human wisdom." -Aristotle.
And wisdom seems to be something that the world today lacks quite abundantly.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Kyran Paterson-King and the Gamuffs of Adventure in the Great Big City.
I suppose that's what you could call it.
I've been looking around for a job- quite desperately, at this point.
I've finally decided to apply for what I suppose you could label as 'less than desirable' work. I won't mention directly what places these are, for fear of corporate spying in which they will deny me a position as soon as they see I have titled them as 'less desirable.' (Is that dictatorial? I think it is. Fuck you, I can say whatever I want about your company, even if I work for it. No! Wait, wait, wait... Especially if I work for it).
Anyways, aside from the desperate job hunt, which seems to be taking a toll on me, life has been quite good. Definitely an adventure. I suppose trying to separate 'the rest' of it from the stress of the job hunt is near impossible, as it's now permeated every other aspect of my life (for example: it's not uncommon to find me up at 1 in the morning sending out an endless stream of online applications to a large amount of places I probably had no idea existed until I decided to try and work for them, whilst browsing StumbleUpon in a separate tab).
I can't say life is bad, but it's not as good as it could be, or.. rather.. not as good as it needs to be if I want to make enough money to satisfy my goals and ambitions.
It is, in many ways, an endless adventure when you live in the big city, but the ability to take a break from said adventure is always available by simply taking a day to yourself at home in order to let it all process appropriately. It's also an interesting time to be in any major city with the whole Occupy Wall Street movement struggling to make itself a fact of modern life in the modern mind. However, the movement as a whole is having trouble maintaining its very existence, and although the issue has yet to turn violent here in Vancouver, it seems near inevitable that something of some sort of physical significance is going to occur should the strictly established set of city bylaws continue to be broken. What a petty pretext bylaws are.
I've also been playing a fair amount of the new hit video game, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. And I'm not going to lie, it is most certainly one of the greatest games I have ever played; all the way up there with games like Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto IV, Battlefield 3, and the previous two Elder Scrolls video games. I've also been doing a fair amount of reading, having recently read and finished Stephen Chbosky's book The Perks of Being a Wallflower which, I'm going to admit, is up there with some of the greats of literature in my mind. At the very least, it's up there with some of the greats of 20th century literature. I've also started a 'Books to Read' list, and began reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road and the somewhat 'too New Age for me' book titled The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. So far, it is interesting, and although the writing is a little over simplified by my standards, Redfield has some interesting things to say (although I object to his adapting of his spiritual and philosophical ideas into the guise of an ancient Peruvian prophecy in the tradition of provocative adventures like Indiana Jones and the like).
Anyways, stay up-to-date with me and my blog, as I'm considering some ideas for brand-new short stories that have yet to be fully put-down on paper, even as drafts.
I'm going to play some Skyrim for the moment, however, and then possibly venture into the city with the friend of mine who I'm living with to see what adventures we may discover in the great and beautiful maze of Downtown Vancouver.
Peace out, blue planet.
I've been looking around for a job- quite desperately, at this point.
I've finally decided to apply for what I suppose you could label as 'less than desirable' work. I won't mention directly what places these are, for fear of corporate spying in which they will deny me a position as soon as they see I have titled them as 'less desirable.' (Is that dictatorial? I think it is. Fuck you, I can say whatever I want about your company, even if I work for it. No! Wait, wait, wait... Especially if I work for it).
Anyways, aside from the desperate job hunt, which seems to be taking a toll on me, life has been quite good. Definitely an adventure. I suppose trying to separate 'the rest' of it from the stress of the job hunt is near impossible, as it's now permeated every other aspect of my life (for example: it's not uncommon to find me up at 1 in the morning sending out an endless stream of online applications to a large amount of places I probably had no idea existed until I decided to try and work for them, whilst browsing StumbleUpon in a separate tab).
I can't say life is bad, but it's not as good as it could be, or.. rather.. not as good as it needs to be if I want to make enough money to satisfy my goals and ambitions.
It is, in many ways, an endless adventure when you live in the big city, but the ability to take a break from said adventure is always available by simply taking a day to yourself at home in order to let it all process appropriately. It's also an interesting time to be in any major city with the whole Occupy Wall Street movement struggling to make itself a fact of modern life in the modern mind. However, the movement as a whole is having trouble maintaining its very existence, and although the issue has yet to turn violent here in Vancouver, it seems near inevitable that something of some sort of physical significance is going to occur should the strictly established set of city bylaws continue to be broken. What a petty pretext bylaws are.
I've also been playing a fair amount of the new hit video game, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. And I'm not going to lie, it is most certainly one of the greatest games I have ever played; all the way up there with games like Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto IV, Battlefield 3, and the previous two Elder Scrolls video games. I've also been doing a fair amount of reading, having recently read and finished Stephen Chbosky's book The Perks of Being a Wallflower which, I'm going to admit, is up there with some of the greats of literature in my mind. At the very least, it's up there with some of the greats of 20th century literature. I've also started a 'Books to Read' list, and began reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road and the somewhat 'too New Age for me' book titled The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. So far, it is interesting, and although the writing is a little over simplified by my standards, Redfield has some interesting things to say (although I object to his adapting of his spiritual and philosophical ideas into the guise of an ancient Peruvian prophecy in the tradition of provocative adventures like Indiana Jones and the like).
Anyways, stay up-to-date with me and my blog, as I'm considering some ideas for brand-new short stories that have yet to be fully put-down on paper, even as drafts.
I'm going to play some Skyrim for the moment, however, and then possibly venture into the city with the friend of mine who I'm living with to see what adventures we may discover in the great and beautiful maze of Downtown Vancouver.
Peace out, blue planet.
Friday, November 11, 2011
When you finally reach an answer, all you succeed in doing is waking-up a new question.
Philosophical despair is a complicated problem... but should uncertainty, or its opposite, strict certainty, even lead to philosophical despair? And in the end, it seems much of my philosophical despairs boil down to some sort of non-acceptance and fear of ceasing to consciously exist; and I can't tell whether my indulging in the ideas that advocate I do NOT cease to consciously exist are simply my denying some sort of inalienable truth in search of some sort of comfort and permanent certainty, or if I am truly delving into the possibility that there is some sort of conscious existence after death. I'm starting to wonder if my inquisitive nature was worth the constant personal uplifts, overthrows, and inner emotional turmoil or not. If I cannot find pure certainty or pure uncertainty, how do I properly build a foundation of acceptance?
And the problem is manifold, as there are 'inalienable and unalterable truths' imposed on us by the scientific worldview which, in my mind, tend to degrade the experience of life and tear away all that made it so beautifully mysterious and enjoyable. Is there truly no such thing as the 'super' natural? Or is the resistance to the idea of the 'super' natural simply some overly regimented status-quo based scientific community resisting the possibility of intrinsic uncertainty in the universe due to their personal drives for a sense of certainty? And why is it that, despite my realization that science is simply the human observation of patterns in natural phenomena and the mass-labeling of anything and everything (eg. 'chemicals,' 'psychoanalysis,' 'biology,' 'psychology') for the sake of categorization, that I am still frightened by what I perceive to be 'degrading' scientific hypotheses that seem to suck what I suppose one could call the 'magic' out of life? And what does it mean to say I am strictly a 'physical' construct? And what does it mean when I feel the drive to believe that I am more? Is it not possible that being a 'physical construct' is simply yet another arrogant label as dictated by the scientific worldview and the scientific method? Isn't a 'method' nothing more than a direction of approach, as opposed to the direction of approach?
These are, quite literally, some of the questions that keep me up at night or, on occasion, make me prefer sleeping over being awake when I'm somewhat forced to suffer through them. It's rarely that I exclusively 'suffer' through them, however, as there are times when I am simply in a state of complete and willing ecstasy and awe at the above questions and questions of a similar nature, and other times when the awe remains, but the ecstasy is replaced by a feeling of despair and suffering which arises from my (at least seeming) inability to simply switch off the philosophical inquiries. At other times, however, the suffering and despair occasionally arises from my perceptions that I am obligated to take science at face-value when all I have learned about the world, and science especially, tell me that one of the last things I should be taking at face-value is science, the scientific method, or the scientific worldview (as even science itself begs to be challenged).
Due to the current state of affairs in my mind, there may very well be many posts of this nature on the way; so if you found this to be anything but boring, I encourage you to keep up-to-date with me and my blog.
And the problem is manifold, as there are 'inalienable and unalterable truths' imposed on us by the scientific worldview which, in my mind, tend to degrade the experience of life and tear away all that made it so beautifully mysterious and enjoyable. Is there truly no such thing as the 'super' natural? Or is the resistance to the idea of the 'super' natural simply some overly regimented status-quo based scientific community resisting the possibility of intrinsic uncertainty in the universe due to their personal drives for a sense of certainty? And why is it that, despite my realization that science is simply the human observation of patterns in natural phenomena and the mass-labeling of anything and everything (eg. 'chemicals,' 'psychoanalysis,' 'biology,' 'psychology') for the sake of categorization, that I am still frightened by what I perceive to be 'degrading' scientific hypotheses that seem to suck what I suppose one could call the 'magic' out of life? And what does it mean to say I am strictly a 'physical' construct? And what does it mean when I feel the drive to believe that I am more? Is it not possible that being a 'physical construct' is simply yet another arrogant label as dictated by the scientific worldview and the scientific method? Isn't a 'method' nothing more than a direction of approach, as opposed to the direction of approach?
These are, quite literally, some of the questions that keep me up at night or, on occasion, make me prefer sleeping over being awake when I'm somewhat forced to suffer through them. It's rarely that I exclusively 'suffer' through them, however, as there are times when I am simply in a state of complete and willing ecstasy and awe at the above questions and questions of a similar nature, and other times when the awe remains, but the ecstasy is replaced by a feeling of despair and suffering which arises from my (at least seeming) inability to simply switch off the philosophical inquiries. At other times, however, the suffering and despair occasionally arises from my perceptions that I am obligated to take science at face-value when all I have learned about the world, and science especially, tell me that one of the last things I should be taking at face-value is science, the scientific method, or the scientific worldview (as even science itself begs to be challenged).
Due to the current state of affairs in my mind, there may very well be many posts of this nature on the way; so if you found this to be anything but boring, I encourage you to keep up-to-date with me and my blog.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The Seemingly Imminent Eviction of the OWS Movement from Canada
If you take note of Canadian economy magazines, the end of the Occupy Wall Street movement... at least in the country north of Wall Street itself... seems quite imminent.
I, personally, have some first hand experience as both a spectator as well as a somewhat passive and external contributor to the movement myself; both through my moral support, and my limited involvement with the crowds at Occupy Vancouver, towards which I have drawn a mixed verdict.
I agree, in almost all regards, to the act of occupying in the first place. It is a blatant disregard for the rigid technicalities which have been developed to what is defined as 'public' or 'private' space, as well as a blatant disregard for the now finely-tuned tastes and preferences of those regimented by the preferred luxuries offered by corporate appeasement of the individuals personal tastes designed, first and foremost, in the name of making a profit.
It is an amorphous movement, which reflects a global sentiment, of people trying to rewind the clock on capitalism and the economy as to make both significantly less influential in our lives, and more minimalistic and subsidiary as so both are simply a means to an end, as opposed to the means and an end.
In this day and age, people seem to be spending their lives seeking little more than economic gain on their end of the stick. They forget that, although the economy is a societal requirement and luxury which certainly has consequence, it should be the tool used to lift the individual, as well as the collective, above the realm of 'simply surviving,' and into the realm of truly being able to experience life to its fullest in any and every manner conceivably imaginable. In this sense, the economy should not be an all-pervasive force which attempts to drag you into its maze, forcing you to want more and more of the unnecessary luxuries it seems to offer you in infinite supply, but, as I stated before, nothing more than a means to an end. The means being your contribution to society through occasional labor, artistic endeavor, or the offerings/ production of goods and services, and the end, which is attempting to be satisfied, being the living of life to its fullest once a minimal contribution is made that allows the individual and/or collective to be able to survive in affordable satisfaction.
Many now rooted in capitalistic mindsets would argue that, to them, 'living life to its fullest' implies a constant striving for greater material and monetary wealth. This mindset would not exist without the diluting of the human psyche to the point that this appears to become an almost instinctive drive.
To me, individually, 'living life to its fullest' implies the freedom of expression (not being limited in what I say anywhere at any time for fear of upsetting hierarchical superiors), the freedom of time (say, working for 2 or 3 days a week and making enough to survive comfortably for said week and do as I see fit, whether that means travelling, spending time with loved ones, indulging in artistic and creative endeavors, or, in a somewhat contradictory decision, deciding to put in extra time at work after my amount required for comfortable survival has been met, in order to save for some large future endeavor, or some high-expense luxury such as a new computer, TV, book collection, sound-system, etc.)
So, it is in this sense that I do indeed agree with the general act of occupying in order to say 'hey, sorry to disturb you, but we're here and we would like to remind you that there is something seriously wrong with the world we're living in.' Looking at this strictly through the filter of the system we are living in, however... Canadians, for the most part, have little to complain about.
During my time at Occupy Vancouver, the only legitimate qualms seemed to be those relating to First Nations people, while the rest were simply terribly-worded symbolic gestures, steeped in a load of fringe conspiracy theories and New Age astrological bullshit, beckoning towards the more humanistic aspects in man which have been repressed as a result of the superficially developed capitalistic 'instinct.'
Remove your filters, and look at the world were living in as it is; superficial, destructive, and in need of massive changes in all aspects of society. You can justify anything using an economic argument, but using such an argument only suppresses the humanistic and environmental realities.
I think it's just about time to save the world.
I, personally, have some first hand experience as both a spectator as well as a somewhat passive and external contributor to the movement myself; both through my moral support, and my limited involvement with the crowds at Occupy Vancouver, towards which I have drawn a mixed verdict.
I agree, in almost all regards, to the act of occupying in the first place. It is a blatant disregard for the rigid technicalities which have been developed to what is defined as 'public' or 'private' space, as well as a blatant disregard for the now finely-tuned tastes and preferences of those regimented by the preferred luxuries offered by corporate appeasement of the individuals personal tastes designed, first and foremost, in the name of making a profit.
It is an amorphous movement, which reflects a global sentiment, of people trying to rewind the clock on capitalism and the economy as to make both significantly less influential in our lives, and more minimalistic and subsidiary as so both are simply a means to an end, as opposed to the means and an end.
In this day and age, people seem to be spending their lives seeking little more than economic gain on their end of the stick. They forget that, although the economy is a societal requirement and luxury which certainly has consequence, it should be the tool used to lift the individual, as well as the collective, above the realm of 'simply surviving,' and into the realm of truly being able to experience life to its fullest in any and every manner conceivably imaginable. In this sense, the economy should not be an all-pervasive force which attempts to drag you into its maze, forcing you to want more and more of the unnecessary luxuries it seems to offer you in infinite supply, but, as I stated before, nothing more than a means to an end. The means being your contribution to society through occasional labor, artistic endeavor, or the offerings/ production of goods and services, and the end, which is attempting to be satisfied, being the living of life to its fullest once a minimal contribution is made that allows the individual and/or collective to be able to survive in affordable satisfaction.
Many now rooted in capitalistic mindsets would argue that, to them, 'living life to its fullest' implies a constant striving for greater material and monetary wealth. This mindset would not exist without the diluting of the human psyche to the point that this appears to become an almost instinctive drive.
To me, individually, 'living life to its fullest' implies the freedom of expression (not being limited in what I say anywhere at any time for fear of upsetting hierarchical superiors), the freedom of time (say, working for 2 or 3 days a week and making enough to survive comfortably for said week and do as I see fit, whether that means travelling, spending time with loved ones, indulging in artistic and creative endeavors, or, in a somewhat contradictory decision, deciding to put in extra time at work after my amount required for comfortable survival has been met, in order to save for some large future endeavor, or some high-expense luxury such as a new computer, TV, book collection, sound-system, etc.)
So, it is in this sense that I do indeed agree with the general act of occupying in order to say 'hey, sorry to disturb you, but we're here and we would like to remind you that there is something seriously wrong with the world we're living in.' Looking at this strictly through the filter of the system we are living in, however... Canadians, for the most part, have little to complain about.
During my time at Occupy Vancouver, the only legitimate qualms seemed to be those relating to First Nations people, while the rest were simply terribly-worded symbolic gestures, steeped in a load of fringe conspiracy theories and New Age astrological bullshit, beckoning towards the more humanistic aspects in man which have been repressed as a result of the superficially developed capitalistic 'instinct.'
Remove your filters, and look at the world were living in as it is; superficial, destructive, and in need of massive changes in all aspects of society. You can justify anything using an economic argument, but using such an argument only suppresses the humanistic and environmental realities.
I think it's just about time to save the world.
Monday, October 31, 2011
And... Boom. My world changes.
After a weekend chalk-full of adventure and partying, as well as catching up with old friends, spending quality time with my significant other, and talking philosophy with a best friend of mine who is positioned, at the moment, to cause a musical revolution in the cultured city of Victoria, I have finally crossed the Georgia Strait to start my new life in the Lower Mainland; in a part of Greater Vancouver known as Port Coquitlam, to be exact.
Crossing the threshold of change upon my own volition, I forecasted what I felt would be inevitable phases of emotional tempestuousness as a result of the massive personal 'revolution.' And although I was correct in assuming said tempestuousness would occur, I overestimated it by quite a long shot as I have yet to truly cry over the end of my old life and the beginning of my new one. Tears have come to my eyes due to missing my family and friends back up in my hometown, as well as my hometown itself, but in a general sense, I haven't felt the compulsion to ball my eyes out like I expected I would; however, if the compulsion does overtake me, I won't attempt to resist it.
I have felt the toll that such a drastic alteration has had on my mind, body, and soul... such as a feeling of alienation mixed with awe as I walk the streets of my new hometown, aware of the fact that I know only a couple people in the city's entirety.
To be honest, one of my new homes greatest merits in my mind is its generally close proximity to Downtown Vancouver. Had I the money and the ample freedom of choice in the matter, I would probably opt to live directly Downtown where all the big events occur, simply for the sake of being in the thick of it all... but being a recent graduate who is unemployed and not attending any post secondary institutions, boarding with a friend and his mom in outer suburbia was certainly the more realistic and, in some ways, more idealistic choice.
I have yet to check out Occupy Vancouver or any other such stirrings of revolutionary fervor in my general vicinity, but I'm looking forward to the coming adventure in doing so (however, I am hovering as a result of the issue of, "should I get a job before I start exploring? Or would exploring, perhaps, assist in finding a job? Or does it matter? In a general sense, I would just like to explore for the sake of exploring, but perhaps exploring will indirectly assist my job search regardless.") Vancouver is the magnetic force that is drawing me towards it, and I look forward to finally allowing said force to pull me in.
Port Coquitlam, as well as its sister-city of Coquitlam, are both generally well designed places, but the overwhelming consumerist vibe mixed with the suburban lifestyle really has been dragging me down in some aspects; billboards plague highways, shopping centers and strip malls jam the currently flawed economic construct down our throats, and many people seem strange and distant, not to mention jaded and seemingly desensitized and unsatisfied with their lives as they are, and submit to consumer society and free-market economics as the overarching and absolute truths in life that are unalterable and must be appealed to before anything else is possible, placing a great emphasis on the supposed omnipotence and authoritarianism of finances.
I think that's one big reason that Vancouver seems to be drawing me towards it more-so than the Coquitlam area, where any potential for culture has been hijacked by the overwhelming power of corporate agendas and Western consumerism, as opposed to Vancouver where the consumerist aspects do most certainly exist, but the city's beautifully diverse culture controls it and contains it; not the other way around.
I'm going to look in on getting involved with the slam poetry and underground rap scene down here and see where that gets me in the way of opportunities and meeting new people.
Adventure is here, and greater adventure is hurtling my way.
Look out, Vancouver.
Here I come.
Crossing the threshold of change upon my own volition, I forecasted what I felt would be inevitable phases of emotional tempestuousness as a result of the massive personal 'revolution.' And although I was correct in assuming said tempestuousness would occur, I overestimated it by quite a long shot as I have yet to truly cry over the end of my old life and the beginning of my new one. Tears have come to my eyes due to missing my family and friends back up in my hometown, as well as my hometown itself, but in a general sense, I haven't felt the compulsion to ball my eyes out like I expected I would; however, if the compulsion does overtake me, I won't attempt to resist it.
I have felt the toll that such a drastic alteration has had on my mind, body, and soul... such as a feeling of alienation mixed with awe as I walk the streets of my new hometown, aware of the fact that I know only a couple people in the city's entirety.
To be honest, one of my new homes greatest merits in my mind is its generally close proximity to Downtown Vancouver. Had I the money and the ample freedom of choice in the matter, I would probably opt to live directly Downtown where all the big events occur, simply for the sake of being in the thick of it all... but being a recent graduate who is unemployed and not attending any post secondary institutions, boarding with a friend and his mom in outer suburbia was certainly the more realistic and, in some ways, more idealistic choice.
I have yet to check out Occupy Vancouver or any other such stirrings of revolutionary fervor in my general vicinity, but I'm looking forward to the coming adventure in doing so (however, I am hovering as a result of the issue of, "should I get a job before I start exploring? Or would exploring, perhaps, assist in finding a job? Or does it matter? In a general sense, I would just like to explore for the sake of exploring, but perhaps exploring will indirectly assist my job search regardless.") Vancouver is the magnetic force that is drawing me towards it, and I look forward to finally allowing said force to pull me in.
Port Coquitlam, as well as its sister-city of Coquitlam, are both generally well designed places, but the overwhelming consumerist vibe mixed with the suburban lifestyle really has been dragging me down in some aspects; billboards plague highways, shopping centers and strip malls jam the currently flawed economic construct down our throats, and many people seem strange and distant, not to mention jaded and seemingly desensitized and unsatisfied with their lives as they are, and submit to consumer society and free-market economics as the overarching and absolute truths in life that are unalterable and must be appealed to before anything else is possible, placing a great emphasis on the supposed omnipotence and authoritarianism of finances.
I think that's one big reason that Vancouver seems to be drawing me towards it more-so than the Coquitlam area, where any potential for culture has been hijacked by the overwhelming power of corporate agendas and Western consumerism, as opposed to Vancouver where the consumerist aspects do most certainly exist, but the city's beautifully diverse culture controls it and contains it; not the other way around.
I'm going to look in on getting involved with the slam poetry and underground rap scene down here and see where that gets me in the way of opportunities and meeting new people.
Adventure is here, and greater adventure is hurtling my way.
Look out, Vancouver.
Here I come.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Inside my Mind.
Innocently enough, I found the kerfuffle of fluff bunched up in my knuckles because,
I never punch an innocent man twice.
Now take the spice out of the words, 'Hey, I'm a nice guy,'
And you'll have a half-truth that will trick yet still suffice;
I test my pick-up lines on mice and rats like the most esteemed of scientists,
Who engineered the difference between maize and rice using language as their disguise
I languish in this life.
I deal too much in the technical's and it leads to awkward strife,
Inside my mind.
I notice the fact that I think,
And watch the fact that I see,
And, for some reason, become ungrateful that my site
Isn't 360 degrees.
It is in my dreams.
I also seem to ask myself the question far too often;
"Are you sure you're living yet? Are you sure you're alive yet?"
Because I seem to forget that yet implies before and after;
And I stave off the potential for my mind to become some sort of existential disaster;
Nothing has changed about me biologically for 3 or so years,
Yet with the constant bombardment of scientific, philosophical, and existential food for thought
I seem to notice now
More than ever
My mortality.
And it's not just my mortality,
I ask, "What IS reality?"
And the slight lack of focus in my eyes makes me ask in framed legality,
"What is this actuality?"
And I lose sight that all humanity
Serves the same such similar circumstances,
With the 5 senses imperfections
And I'm sure that most of us are quite insane.
Please, don't abstain from braving existential terrain,
It will help you to obtain
The fact
That life is such a mystery,
And it's best to work with mystery,
In transcendental synergy,
Because suddenly humanity
Is null and void.
I write this true to mind:
These are the thoughts that float through mine,
And keep me sleepless time-to-time
Or keep me feeling like I'm sleeping,
As the thoughts keep me confined
On occasion.
Yet sometimes I do awaken
And feel myself a direct part of the reality I've forsaken,
Over-thinking,
With the labels that our minds have been creating,
Since the dawn of humankind and man-made time.
I never punch an innocent man twice.
Now take the spice out of the words, 'Hey, I'm a nice guy,'
And you'll have a half-truth that will trick yet still suffice;
I test my pick-up lines on mice and rats like the most esteemed of scientists,
Who engineered the difference between maize and rice using language as their disguise
I languish in this life.
I deal too much in the technical's and it leads to awkward strife,
Inside my mind.
I notice the fact that I think,
And watch the fact that I see,
And, for some reason, become ungrateful that my site
Isn't 360 degrees.
It is in my dreams.
I also seem to ask myself the question far too often;
"Are you sure you're living yet? Are you sure you're alive yet?"
Because I seem to forget that yet implies before and after;
And I stave off the potential for my mind to become some sort of existential disaster;
Nothing has changed about me biologically for 3 or so years,
Yet with the constant bombardment of scientific, philosophical, and existential food for thought
I seem to notice now
More than ever
My mortality.
And it's not just my mortality,
I ask, "What IS reality?"
And the slight lack of focus in my eyes makes me ask in framed legality,
"What is this actuality?"
And I lose sight that all humanity
Serves the same such similar circumstances,
With the 5 senses imperfections
And I'm sure that most of us are quite insane.
Please, don't abstain from braving existential terrain,
It will help you to obtain
The fact
That life is such a mystery,
And it's best to work with mystery,
In transcendental synergy,
Because suddenly humanity
Is null and void.
I write this true to mind:
These are the thoughts that float through mine,
And keep me sleepless time-to-time
Or keep me feeling like I'm sleeping,
As the thoughts keep me confined
On occasion.
Yet sometimes I do awaken
And feel myself a direct part of the reality I've forsaken,
Over-thinking,
With the labels that our minds have been creating,
Since the dawn of humankind and man-made time.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
The Truth About Astrology
When it comes to astrology, you are only a Gemini, Libra, Scorpio, or Taurus if you truly believe you are, and subconsciously decide to emulate the vague traits outlined in astrological theory. It works in the same way that being a Christian causes you to act like a 'good Christian,' or being Islamic causes you to act like a 'good Muslim,' based on the vague (or, perhaps, strict and specific) outline provided by books like the Qua'ran or the Bible. You subconsciously become what you believe in. And trust me... some things are simply not true. Astrology, although I don't enjoy condemning certain fields of thought and study, is an interesting charade that fits into the famous lines of the former Nazi propoganda minister Joseph Goebbels: “A lie repeated a thousand times becomes a truth."
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Occupy Wall Street and the Growing OWS Movement
Incited, whether directly or indirectly, by the Vancouver-based dissident magazine AdBusters, The Occupy Wall Street movement is picking-up pace on an near-revolutionary scale across the entire continent.
Many right-wing financiers and commentators simply look at the collective uprising as an example of left-wing 'mob mentality;'the hypotheses that such a collectivist mentality could exist in some 'terrible' form being discovered by yours truly during an outing at the local Coles bookstore, in which I came across Ann Coulter's book, "Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America."
As I flipped through Demonic, all I could draw parallels to was the feeling of 'how the fuck could anyone actually believe this bullshit?' that I got from flipping through the first few pages of Benito Mussolini's The Fascist Doctrine. Were I a notable figure in political affairs, right-wing commentators would already be shutting me down saying, "Look at this left-wing nut-bar. He's using one of the oldest tricks in the book! Comparing the right to fascists and Nazism and all that historical stuff. This young man is obviously a threat to our societal fabric and all his valid points from here on in are now rendered invalid and unimportant due to this single thing we caught him saying which we will now hang over his politically-attuned head like a guillotine to his credibility... and if he tries to get in our way one more time, we will sell his story to Glen Beck so that intellectual genius can tear him to bits with his infallible logic."
And I would watch this with both a deep humor regarding these peoples willfully ignorant and blatantly arrogant viewpoints and decide they have no true intellectual credibility, and that the fact that they're serious only makes it all the more hilarious... but that humor would also wallow alongside a feeling of deep anger and fear at the fact that such absolute idiots have such a stranglehold on not only North America, but the human race at large.
Eric Cantor, the Republican Majority Leader in the House of Representatives, in speaking against the OWS movement said: "I for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and the other cities across the country. Believe it or not, some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans."
Boy oh boy oh boy! You know someone is a self-serving politician if their entire address, whether consciously or not, seems to miss the entire context of the movement itself. And calling it a 'mob'... it's the same polarizing tactic used to marginalize and ostracize anyone who supports the welfare-state or other socialistic practices when they're simply labelled as 'communists.' When right-wing politicians call someone or something 'communist,' they are deliberately appealing to the lowest common denominator of the population that has never studied communism and only knows, at best, its context in American history as the 'Red scare' or the 'Soviet menace.' That invisible enemy that almost killed us that one time, which must mean everything about them was nothing but pure evil.
One small step up from the lowest common denominator, however, is the half-baked pseudo-intellectual who, when they hear that someone or something is 'communist,' remembers nothing but the atrocities committed under Joseph Stalin or Mao Zedong. This condemns their stupefied face-value interpretation to forever see whatever was labelled as 'communist' as potential mass-murderers who are simply looking to install an evil totalitarian regime. They don't understand the true definition of either communism or socialism; and that's exactly the way they want it. They simply want their ignorant followers to view those is opposition to the right in the way the right is viewed by everyone else due to what they have actually done to deserve such an image.
When the right labels a legitimate protest that is against its best interests as a 'mob,' it hopes to incite memories of the Salem which-hunts, the Detroit riots, and simply the Judaeo-Christian interpretation of an 'angry mob carrying pitch-forks and torches, ready to rape, pillage, and murder until their desires are met.' It's these mass-generalizations that keep the right as powerful as it is. Without such loose-terms and assumptive measures, the clearer, truer, and more specific definitions of what's occurring would show themselves and the right would immediately be discredited as self-serving and simply stupid.
It's this arrogance and stubborn idiocy that turned democracy into nothing but a symbolic charade of corporate tools either working for the financiers and self-proclaimed 'elites,' or required to work-around their maze of control in order to attempt to contribute to the common good without reducing or eliminating the current profit that's being made under the status quo.
The OWS movement recognizes all of this, and no right-wing commentary to the contrary is going to make these disillusioned crowds stop and think, 'hey, you know? Maybe Mr. Cantor is right. Perhaps Mr. Herman Cain is also correct. It's my fault I'm not rich.. because that's obviously what I came here to do. Protest the fact that I don't have what the top 1% has. That's the basis of this entire revolution; jealousy! Why can't I be a selfish, opportunistic prick with lots of money?! That's all I've ever wanted to be my entire life! Holy fuck! I'm tired of not being able to exploit my fellow human beings for profit as part of the 99%!"
It's far to easy to bash the right for it's obvious ignorance and stupidity in this situation, whether it's intentional or not. They need to work on more convincing arguments if they want to even have a chance at stopping this revolution from threatening their material empire.
Many right-wing financiers and commentators simply look at the collective uprising as an example of left-wing 'mob mentality;'the hypotheses that such a collectivist mentality could exist in some 'terrible' form being discovered by yours truly during an outing at the local Coles bookstore, in which I came across Ann Coulter's book, "Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America."
As I flipped through Demonic, all I could draw parallels to was the feeling of 'how the fuck could anyone actually believe this bullshit?' that I got from flipping through the first few pages of Benito Mussolini's The Fascist Doctrine. Were I a notable figure in political affairs, right-wing commentators would already be shutting me down saying, "Look at this left-wing nut-bar. He's using one of the oldest tricks in the book! Comparing the right to fascists and Nazism and all that historical stuff. This young man is obviously a threat to our societal fabric and all his valid points from here on in are now rendered invalid and unimportant due to this single thing we caught him saying which we will now hang over his politically-attuned head like a guillotine to his credibility... and if he tries to get in our way one more time, we will sell his story to Glen Beck so that intellectual genius can tear him to bits with his infallible logic."
And I would watch this with both a deep humor regarding these peoples willfully ignorant and blatantly arrogant viewpoints and decide they have no true intellectual credibility, and that the fact that they're serious only makes it all the more hilarious... but that humor would also wallow alongside a feeling of deep anger and fear at the fact that such absolute idiots have such a stranglehold on not only North America, but the human race at large.
Eric Cantor, the Republican Majority Leader in the House of Representatives, in speaking against the OWS movement said: "I for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and the other cities across the country. Believe it or not, some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans."
Boy oh boy oh boy! You know someone is a self-serving politician if their entire address, whether consciously or not, seems to miss the entire context of the movement itself. And calling it a 'mob'... it's the same polarizing tactic used to marginalize and ostracize anyone who supports the welfare-state or other socialistic practices when they're simply labelled as 'communists.' When right-wing politicians call someone or something 'communist,' they are deliberately appealing to the lowest common denominator of the population that has never studied communism and only knows, at best, its context in American history as the 'Red scare' or the 'Soviet menace.' That invisible enemy that almost killed us that one time, which must mean everything about them was nothing but pure evil.
One small step up from the lowest common denominator, however, is the half-baked pseudo-intellectual who, when they hear that someone or something is 'communist,' remembers nothing but the atrocities committed under Joseph Stalin or Mao Zedong. This condemns their stupefied face-value interpretation to forever see whatever was labelled as 'communist' as potential mass-murderers who are simply looking to install an evil totalitarian regime. They don't understand the true definition of either communism or socialism; and that's exactly the way they want it. They simply want their ignorant followers to view those is opposition to the right in the way the right is viewed by everyone else due to what they have actually done to deserve such an image.
When the right labels a legitimate protest that is against its best interests as a 'mob,' it hopes to incite memories of the Salem which-hunts, the Detroit riots, and simply the Judaeo-Christian interpretation of an 'angry mob carrying pitch-forks and torches, ready to rape, pillage, and murder until their desires are met.' It's these mass-generalizations that keep the right as powerful as it is. Without such loose-terms and assumptive measures, the clearer, truer, and more specific definitions of what's occurring would show themselves and the right would immediately be discredited as self-serving and simply stupid.
It's this arrogance and stubborn idiocy that turned democracy into nothing but a symbolic charade of corporate tools either working for the financiers and self-proclaimed 'elites,' or required to work-around their maze of control in order to attempt to contribute to the common good without reducing or eliminating the current profit that's being made under the status quo.
The OWS movement recognizes all of this, and no right-wing commentary to the contrary is going to make these disillusioned crowds stop and think, 'hey, you know? Maybe Mr. Cantor is right. Perhaps Mr. Herman Cain is also correct. It's my fault I'm not rich.. because that's obviously what I came here to do. Protest the fact that I don't have what the top 1% has. That's the basis of this entire revolution; jealousy! Why can't I be a selfish, opportunistic prick with lots of money?! That's all I've ever wanted to be my entire life! Holy fuck! I'm tired of not being able to exploit my fellow human beings for profit as part of the 99%!"
It's far to easy to bash the right for it's obvious ignorance and stupidity in this situation, whether it's intentional or not. They need to work on more convincing arguments if they want to even have a chance at stopping this revolution from threatening their material empire.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Big Changes Await on the Approaching Horizon of my Near Future
and I'm sorry if my irrational capitalization of the most important words in the title pisses you off. It looks better that way.
Anyways, many large changes are hurtling my way within the next 3 weeks or so. At the end of this week, I'm giving my bosses at my current job my 2 weeks notice. Hopefully I'll still get some work in those 2 weeks, and hopefully they're kind enough to step-over some red-tape and get my pay to me before I head-off to Port Coquitlam to live with a good friend of mine and his mother for awhile. As soon as I get there, I'll be pounding the pavement yet again to look for some half-decent employment, which shouldn't be too hard, seeing as the Holiday season is coming up pretty quick. Consumer society will be looking for some extra hands to wrap presents and shit. I just hope I don't lose any job I gain after the Holiday season comes to a close in January.
I'm not heading directly down to Port Coquitlam, however. First off, I'll be heading down to Saltspring Island for the third time in 2 months to stay at my girlfriends house for 5 or 6 days before heading off to the city of Victoria just across the Georgia Strait in order to visit some friends of mine at the University of Victoria and attend a Halloween party in the area. After that, I'll finally be departing to my new home, but the drastic change will still stand as soon as I step on the ferry to Vancouver Island; I'm leaving my hometown I grew up in. I'm leaving my father and mother, my brother, my best friends, my good friends, my friends, my extended family, my co-workers and colleagues, the walks into town along the ocean route, the serene lakes and beautifully blissfull camping trips chalk-full of inebriated old friends and an endless window to outer-space... the bottom line is.. I'm leaving Powell River for greater suburbia and the big city.
I look forward to my coming adventures, and this act is me finally taking the dive into the beautiful abyss of my future... but I'll miss Powell River and (almost) everything about it. I'll be back to visit, of course... and it will still be home, but it will no longer be my residence.
What long hours of robotically carrying out orders in the workplace await? What nights of incredible experiences and people?
I look forward to discovering all of this, and much, much more.
Anyways, many large changes are hurtling my way within the next 3 weeks or so. At the end of this week, I'm giving my bosses at my current job my 2 weeks notice. Hopefully I'll still get some work in those 2 weeks, and hopefully they're kind enough to step-over some red-tape and get my pay to me before I head-off to Port Coquitlam to live with a good friend of mine and his mother for awhile. As soon as I get there, I'll be pounding the pavement yet again to look for some half-decent employment, which shouldn't be too hard, seeing as the Holiday season is coming up pretty quick. Consumer society will be looking for some extra hands to wrap presents and shit. I just hope I don't lose any job I gain after the Holiday season comes to a close in January.
I'm not heading directly down to Port Coquitlam, however. First off, I'll be heading down to Saltspring Island for the third time in 2 months to stay at my girlfriends house for 5 or 6 days before heading off to the city of Victoria just across the Georgia Strait in order to visit some friends of mine at the University of Victoria and attend a Halloween party in the area. After that, I'll finally be departing to my new home, but the drastic change will still stand as soon as I step on the ferry to Vancouver Island; I'm leaving my hometown I grew up in. I'm leaving my father and mother, my brother, my best friends, my good friends, my friends, my extended family, my co-workers and colleagues, the walks into town along the ocean route, the serene lakes and beautifully blissfull camping trips chalk-full of inebriated old friends and an endless window to outer-space... the bottom line is.. I'm leaving Powell River for greater suburbia and the big city.
I look forward to my coming adventures, and this act is me finally taking the dive into the beautiful abyss of my future... but I'll miss Powell River and (almost) everything about it. I'll be back to visit, of course... and it will still be home, but it will no longer be my residence.
What long hours of robotically carrying out orders in the workplace await? What nights of incredible experiences and people?
I look forward to discovering all of this, and much, much more.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Suicide Lane
Providing you survive the drive inside the suicide lane,
The inane objections of several secular seconds will both drive you insane and tame the frame of irrational sanity,
Which stripped away the man in me,
And grabbed my sleeve convincingly to lament the angry laugh of free...
Enterprise; do I comprise of many lies,
As you do?
A gift or prize; yes I surmise the former plays no voodoo.
Like the latter,
Piter pater, I ask exactly, "Do you,"
Truly
care
to know...
If existence is but chatter in a blankness with no matter,
And no welcome mat to meet the merry-minded Happy Hatter's
Dash to seek that damned infatuation with the sadder shift of anger which,
Shook the sheets to show off that the banker is an actor,
Who washes
Shame
Away
In calm, hot showers.
What empowerment.
We underwent the chance event,
Which supplemented discontent with the rich and single one percent,
How kind it was of him to lend,
His hand,
For both of mine.
What malcontent.
We thought dissent would overthrow the circus tent,
Which represented forced consent with the oppressed by blissful fraudulence
Remaining 99 percent.
Peasants, plebeians, proletariat;
We poke the U.N. Secretariat,
To ask again,
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
And silence is how were always met.
We drop it, trust they won't forget,
About us, suffering cold sweats;
As we fear unwanted debt,
They won't forget,
They won't forget,
They won't forget
About us.
Yet competition takes it place,
And twists that sympathetic face,
To grab a poor man's knowledge base,
To ask him,
"What do
I gain
from assisting
The likes
Of you?"
The poor man bellows, "you're poor too!
Like those who can't afford shampoo.
You can't afford my point of view,
It risks a loss that's overdue,
And money makes you misconstrue,
Existence."
And if existence is but chatter in a blankness with no matter,
And no welcome mat to meet the merry-minded Happy Hatter's
Dash to seek that damned infatuation with the sadder shift of anger which,
Shook the sheets to show off that the banker is an actor;
He forgot the human aspect should always be the biggest factor,
On his spreadsheets as he calculates productivity's next chapter;
What empowerment.
We underwent the chance event,
Which supplemented discontent with the rich and single one percent,
How kind it was of him to lend,
His hand,
For both of mine.
This isn't right.
I question fines,
And wonder, where's the kindness?
What happened to our kindred spirits?
Did we leave all that behind us?
Is money truly all we want,
And happiness put second?
The future is unwritten,
So follow me;
Expect resistance.
The inane objections of several secular seconds will both drive you insane and tame the frame of irrational sanity,
Which stripped away the man in me,
And grabbed my sleeve convincingly to lament the angry laugh of free...
Enterprise; do I comprise of many lies,
As you do?
A gift or prize; yes I surmise the former plays no voodoo.
Like the latter,
Piter pater, I ask exactly, "Do you,"
Truly
care
to know...
If existence is but chatter in a blankness with no matter,
And no welcome mat to meet the merry-minded Happy Hatter's
Dash to seek that damned infatuation with the sadder shift of anger which,
Shook the sheets to show off that the banker is an actor,
Who washes
Shame
Away
In calm, hot showers.
What empowerment.
We underwent the chance event,
Which supplemented discontent with the rich and single one percent,
How kind it was of him to lend,
His hand,
For both of mine.
What malcontent.
We thought dissent would overthrow the circus tent,
Which represented forced consent with the oppressed by blissful fraudulence
Remaining 99 percent.
Peasants, plebeians, proletariat;
We poke the U.N. Secretariat,
To ask again,
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
And silence is how were always met.
We drop it, trust they won't forget,
About us, suffering cold sweats;
As we fear unwanted debt,
They won't forget,
They won't forget,
They won't forget
About us.
Yet competition takes it place,
And twists that sympathetic face,
To grab a poor man's knowledge base,
To ask him,
"What do
I gain
from assisting
The likes
Of you?"
The poor man bellows, "you're poor too!
Like those who can't afford shampoo.
You can't afford my point of view,
It risks a loss that's overdue,
And money makes you misconstrue,
Existence."
And if existence is but chatter in a blankness with no matter,
And no welcome mat to meet the merry-minded Happy Hatter's
Dash to seek that damned infatuation with the sadder shift of anger which,
Shook the sheets to show off that the banker is an actor;
He forgot the human aspect should always be the biggest factor,
On his spreadsheets as he calculates productivity's next chapter;
What empowerment.
We underwent the chance event,
Which supplemented discontent with the rich and single one percent,
How kind it was of him to lend,
His hand,
For both of mine.
This isn't right.
I question fines,
And wonder, where's the kindness?
What happened to our kindred spirits?
Did we leave all that behind us?
Is money truly all we want,
And happiness put second?
The future is unwritten,
So follow me;
Expect resistance.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Doing rono jobs
is neither very easy or very hard. It simply has it's moments of complication and difficulty, but also carries much simplicity and ease depending on the aspect you are involved in at a given time. Although I can't say I really enjoy the job, I don't hate it. It's both money, as well as an experience to me. I get to enter private abodes and take a peak at peoples lives from behind the scenes. Sometimes it's messy, other times overly-conformist and monotonous, and occasionally filled with try-hard optimism, self-help book upon self-help book packed together despite the owners aura of repressed discontent with everything. However, the house I went to today was absolutely incredible. The garden out back seemed only partially attended to, and gave off a modest impressiveness regardless. A little path carved through the light rounded shrubbery, and gave an impression of leading to nowhere in particular. The house itself was very clean, yet was beautifully cluttered with musical instruments, intellectual magazines, books on history, science, philosophy, art, and classic fiction, and to top it all off there were absolutely breathtakingly beautiful paintings placed in seemingly perfect places throughout the home; not to mention the perfectly-sized windows which boasted an absolutely stunning view of the ocean-side property below and the Georgia Straight.
It was the kind of house I wish to live in one day... progressively modest, yet beautiful at the same time in it's modesty and aura of universal sources.
It was the kind of house I wish to live in one day... progressively modest, yet beautiful at the same time in it's modesty and aura of universal sources.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: My Personal Response to Each.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
In many ways, you would be perceptively eternal. Not technically in the sense of your finite biological time on this earth, but in the sense that you would lack the awareness of your age, and would therefore lack the ability to properly calculate how much longer you would have to live. It would make life less of a game of calculation, and more of a time-lapse in which you wouldn't become aware that you were approaching death until you truly were approaching it. 2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying. Try, and when you try, give it your absolute all. You may fail, but it's much better to look back on your life and say, at the bare minimum, "At least I tried, and I gave it my all." And depending on what it is, "Try, try, and try again" may also be some valid and valuable advice to heed.3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Perspectives on personal limits. Much of it is society (although society is simply a collection of individuals influencing one another). Finances play a big role, but if one would really truly like to do something, one will discard of laziness and pursue what it is they'd like to do at their own pace. Another tip: think outside of the box, and suddenly, practically anything is possible given enough drive, creativity, and intention. 4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
That really depends. Hopefully I have done more than I said, but this all depends on the context. If I were to die tomorrow? I think I would have done just about as much as I have said, but not necessarily have done all I would have liked to do, or said I would do. 5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
The excuses people come up with to be selfish and greedy. That does not mean that one can't pursue personal goals for exclusive personal benefit, but one must balance this out with also giving in different ways, shapes, and forms. Personally, in the end, I would like to have given more than I got.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Working as an artist of some sort, whether by writing, being a musician, or assisting everyone in seeing the absolute beauty and wonder of life. Perhaps all of the above.7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I'm not sure if what I'm doing is necessarily what I believe in. In the sense of my personal writing (such as this response to "Marc and Angel Hack Life,") I am most definitely doing what I believe in. This applies to all of my personal endeavors and personal relations. In the sense of a job, I have yet to make what I love to do work for me, but I don't dislike my current circumstances by any means. Eventually, they too will need to be altered, but I'll make the most of them while they remain.8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would break many more rules and simply live, freely and truly. If I had such a guaranteed finite amount of time, it would probably accentuate my anarchist-leaning sentiments to the point that they would boil over. However, if 40 years was the average life expectancy and no one knew any better, I'm not sure what I would do. I would probably just look to speed-up any prolonging of certain conditions of life, such as school and work and whatnot. 9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Quite a large degree. I definitely created myself, and I look to eternally improve myself until the day that I die. 10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
I am more worried about doing the right things, although both are important.. I am a strong believer in non-linearism. Let everyone find their own direction to the solution. You may give them pointers, and depending on what it is, even a deadline in which they must abide and discover the solution. But leave it in their hands, for the most part.11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
Honestly? I would probably feel quite awkward, and would bring it up by asking them why said person is so bad, and inform them that they are not as bad as they are making them out to seem. In the end, however, it is up to them, and them only, what opinions they will hold on this friend of mine, as uncomfortable as I may be with it.12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
"Never let go of that child-like intrigue, curiosity, and lust to discover."13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Yes, of course. Well, depending on what it is.14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
I have in many places. I never saw absolute insanity in a condescending light... but when something doesn't make sense, it seems slightly insane at first whether we like it or not. I received much of the arts in this way, and have since discovered that the best kind of people on this planet are a little bit insane. And that's a beautiful thing.15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
I am blatantly outspoken, and I look to improve myself and the world around me. 16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What makes someone 'happy' is a case of personal taste. And my taste differs from others.17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I have yet to travel the world. Finances are the main thing holding me back.18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Hmm.. probably, but not that I can think of. Everyone has their skeletons in the closet, I suppose.19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
That's a good question. I guess I would move anywhere, really. I have no specific preference (or, I do, but I would be satisfied and happy anywhere). But for the sake of humoring everyone, I would move to Victoria, British Columbia because many of my friends are down there, many interesting people I'm sure I would like to meet, and whom would most likely enjoy meeting me as well live (or, perhaps, are visiting) down there, my significant other lives a single ferry-ride away, and it's a generally big city as well as a nice change of scenery and a new place to explore and discover.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I usually only click it once. Unless the doors have yet to close after 30 seconds and the elevator has moved nowhere... in which case I will double-check to make sure I pushed it properly.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Not to sound arrogant, but I think I encompass the best of both worlds in many regards... however, when I find something to worry about and I worry about it, I really worry about it. So for the sake of having to choose one, I suppose I would rather be a joyful simpleton. 22. Why are you, you?
Many different reasons.At one point, I was simply the result of a confluence of social forces (ex: my parents, my surroundings, the people I knew, the things that occurred to me), and although those all still play some part in who I am, I believe I have transcended most of it and created myself. Therefore, I am me because I chose to be me. 23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes, I believe so. There are the occasional issues, I suppose.. but I think I would very much enjoy being friends with me were I an external figure. I will admit, however... I, myself, am my own best friend.24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
That all depends on the context. There's usually a good reason for losing touch with someone who lives near you, so there being a good reason would make it worse in many regards. Maybe for the best... but still worse.25. What are you most grateful for?
Having the chance to exist, and existing right here and right now.26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I would rather lose all my old memories and create new ones, I suppose... but that's a tough question to answer.27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
No, it's not.28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
No it hasn't.I would say my greatest fear would be being physically and psychologically tortured? But I'm not entirely sure. I don't really have a 'greatest fear,' just a collection of smaller fears lacking an organized hierarchy, and I rarely ever dwell on them.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
No, I don't remember, but I'm sure I had sometime when I was extremely upset.So no... it certainly doesn't matter now.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
My happiest childhood memory is having been a child. That was a great privilege, and a great way to start my life.31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Most of the time... probably the last time I was with my significant other would be the MOST passionate and alive, but I've felt significantly passionate and alive since.32. If not now, then when?
Good question. And if not now, then sometime soon.33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Nothing.34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Yes, quite a few times. "That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence." -Mia from Pulp Fiction.35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Reasons of intolerance and unalterable human imperfections, as well as the human tendency to polar opposition.36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No, it's not possible.37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Probably, yes. But that doesn't mean I would cease being productive; I would use that money to fund my efforts to do what I love to do, and let myself become richer. Once I had a secure income, I would begin giving much of that income away to charities, friends, and other positive endeavors.38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work I actually enjoy doing.39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Not really, no. I did just start an on-call job today, however.. so it may eventually feel like I've lived this day a hundred times before one day.40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
When I graduated, and I believed (as I do still believe) that everything will soon workout, and I will be travelling to other parts of the globe within the next year and a half.41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
My parents, by closest friends, my significant other, and myself.42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
No.43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Being alive is merely existing. It does not intrinsically entail enjoyment, joy, satisfaction, happiness, pleasure, appreciation, constant intrigue, discovery, or endeavor. Truly living includes all of this... sometimes all at once, and other times one, or a few at a time.44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
All the time. This doesn't cease us from occasionally calculating regardless, but when it comes to many things, toss expectations aside and simply do it if you feel it.45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Social taboo, and not wishing to regress, even if both are misinterpretations and if you treat mistakes right, they are more progressive then a lack thereof.46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Very few things. For the most part, I don't really worry myself with what others think... but as a human being, sometimes I can't help it, and other times, I care anyways out of giving to their personal interests as opposed to mine. In the end, however, I am going to do what I think is right, and what I believe in over what anyone else thinks is right or believes I should do.47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
An hour or so ago... but that's more because I've been experiencing sporadic respiratory problems as of late. In the sense of existentially noticing the sound of my own breathing... probably about 3 or 4 hours ago.48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love life, I love my friends, I love my family. And yes, many of my recent actions have openly expressed this love.49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
I probably won't remember it specifically by the date, but yes, I think I will remember what I did yesterday, the day before, and the day before, etc.50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
A mix of both. If a decision is made, or is in the process of being made, that, for some reason, I disagree with, I will make the decision to render the previous decision invalid and do what I believe is right, or what I would prefer for myself.Monday, September 19, 2011
My Bucket List: Part 11
91: Write an alternate history novel in which the Nazis win the Second World War, and get it published.
92: Write a book about 'Positive Nihilism.' Get it published as well.
93: Purchase and (eventually) beat "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim."
94: Publish a book of short stories.
95: Climb to the top of an ancient church steeple in Venice.
96: Inspire at least 400 people during my entire lifetime. And not that lame, temporary inspiration; the kind of inspiration that never lets them forget how absolutely amazing life truly is. Absolute minimum: 5 people.
97: Make friends with at least 5 random strangers on a street somewhere at sometime.
98: Do public speaking in front of 10,000 people.
99: Learn a second language.
100: Write provocative, intriguing quotes in random places (ex: back of a bus, alleyway wall, sidewalk, etc).
92: Write a book about 'Positive Nihilism.' Get it published as well.
93: Purchase and (eventually) beat "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim."
94: Publish a book of short stories.
95: Climb to the top of an ancient church steeple in Venice.
96: Inspire at least 400 people during my entire lifetime. And not that lame, temporary inspiration; the kind of inspiration that never lets them forget how absolutely amazing life truly is. Absolute minimum: 5 people.
97: Make friends with at least 5 random strangers on a street somewhere at sometime.
98: Do public speaking in front of 10,000 people.
99: Learn a second language.
100: Write provocative, intriguing quotes in random places (ex: back of a bus, alleyway wall, sidewalk, etc).
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Proof of the Human Tendency to Polar Opposition
Quite disgusted and shocked, yet at the same time incredibly fascinated by his motives and views, I have somehow managed to last through a majority of NBC's interview with prominent serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.
During his brutal murder spree between 1974 and 1986, Jeffrey killed 17 young men, even going so far as cannibalism because it made him feel as if they were 'now eternally a part of him' as a result of his digestion of their remains.
Rarely do serial killers ever agree to interviews of this nature, and even rarer still do they take complete and utter responsibility for what occurred as he does, or probe the origins of the reasons as to why he did what he did.
However, I don't wish to linger on the details as there is a certain observation I made that I wish to share.
You can watch the interview itself by clicking here. (Please be warned: it is not for the faint of heart, and may be very disturbing to some viewers).
During part of the interview, Dahmer describes in detail what he, personally, believes regarding the meaning of life and other such existential matters. The interview itself went as follows:
Dahmer's Father: Let me ask.. when did you first feel that everyone is accountable for their actions?
Dahmer: Well, thanks to you for sending that 'creation/ science' material.. because.. I always believed the lie that evolution is truth.. that the theory of evolution is truth.. that we all just came from the slime and.. when we died.. that was it. There was nothing. So it.. the whole theory cheapens life, and I started reading books about how.. that show how evolution is just a complete lie. There is no basis in science to uphold it, and I have since come to believe that, uh.. that the Lord Jesus Christ is the true creator of the Heavens and the Earth.. it just.. it didn't just happen.. and I have accepted him as my Lord and Savior, and I believe that I, as well as everyone else, will be accountable to him.
Religious commentary aside, what I observed was what I described in part of my previous post, "Where do the labels put me in respect to Nihilism?," in which I stated that "the nature of human perception, after falsely acknowledging there was only that single aspect to the entirety of the Universe, couldn't comprehend how full the Universe really was once God suddenly became absent from it. Our first reaction to the lack of a deity was to replace one single observatory aspect with another; from the optimistic certainty of a God, to the pessimistic certainty of absolute meaninglessness" and that "it seems to be human nature to gravitate to polar opposite sides of one side or another (ex: good or evil, everything or nothing, left wing or right wing, etc)." and Dahmer's observation caused me to whisper 'polar opposites' under my breath as that observation clicked once again in my head when he spoke of previously believing in the face-value, dry, scientific black-and-white interpretation of evolutionary theory, and then suddenly, out of some existential crisis, decided to switch to the absolute other end of the spectrum by deciding that "evolution is just a complete lie" and that "the Lord Jesus Christ is the true creator of the Heavens and the Earth." In doing so, he completely disregarded any sort of middle-ground he could have explored as there is quite a lot of truth to the old saying that there are 'two sides to every story, and somewhere in the middle lies the truth.' Still, the human tendency seems to be to draw our observations, perceptions, and beliefs in black-and-white as if it has to be one or the other.
On his observation that "the whole theory cheapens life," I would have to agree in some sense.
I haven't studied evolution enough to have my own valid opinion on whether I believe it to be true or not, but I take nothing at face-value, not even science which, in many ways, demands you do so in the same way religion demands you subjugate your mind to its will. This does not, however, alleviate the fact that I believe it holds much more credibility than any sort of religious faith does, and certainly holds more truth than Creationism ever could.
To truly have a humbled and rational perspective on the world, one must understand that science is simply human observation and is, in many ways, nothing but a human construct. It, to, is flawed, and one must resist the urge to take it at face-value simply due to the fact that it is the only clearly defined alternative to religion and metaphysics (both which intertwine with it at different capacities depending on the faith and context).
I agree with Dahmer in his assertion that the way he interpreted the theory definitely cheapens life, and that the way in which it is presented also gives a dry and meaningless feel to existence.
As human beings, we need to humble our observations and give absolutely everything the benefit of the doubt. Absolutely everything, otherwise we risk getting trapped in a mode of thought that propagates the illusion that we need to make definite decisions regarding our beliefs, and choose between one side or the other.
Not that I really expected a serial killer to have such insightful ability.
During his brutal murder spree between 1974 and 1986, Jeffrey killed 17 young men, even going so far as cannibalism because it made him feel as if they were 'now eternally a part of him' as a result of his digestion of their remains.
Rarely do serial killers ever agree to interviews of this nature, and even rarer still do they take complete and utter responsibility for what occurred as he does, or probe the origins of the reasons as to why he did what he did.
However, I don't wish to linger on the details as there is a certain observation I made that I wish to share.
You can watch the interview itself by clicking here. (Please be warned: it is not for the faint of heart, and may be very disturbing to some viewers).
During part of the interview, Dahmer describes in detail what he, personally, believes regarding the meaning of life and other such existential matters. The interview itself went as follows:
Dahmer's Father: Let me ask.. when did you first feel that everyone is accountable for their actions?
Dahmer: Well, thanks to you for sending that 'creation/ science' material.. because.. I always believed the lie that evolution is truth.. that the theory of evolution is truth.. that we all just came from the slime and.. when we died.. that was it. There was nothing. So it.. the whole theory cheapens life, and I started reading books about how.. that show how evolution is just a complete lie. There is no basis in science to uphold it, and I have since come to believe that, uh.. that the Lord Jesus Christ is the true creator of the Heavens and the Earth.. it just.. it didn't just happen.. and I have accepted him as my Lord and Savior, and I believe that I, as well as everyone else, will be accountable to him.
Religious commentary aside, what I observed was what I described in part of my previous post, "Where do the labels put me in respect to Nihilism?," in which I stated that "the nature of human perception, after falsely acknowledging there was only that single aspect to the entirety of the Universe, couldn't comprehend how full the Universe really was once God suddenly became absent from it. Our first reaction to the lack of a deity was to replace one single observatory aspect with another; from the optimistic certainty of a God, to the pessimistic certainty of absolute meaninglessness" and that "it seems to be human nature to gravitate to polar opposite sides of one side or another (ex: good or evil, everything or nothing, left wing or right wing, etc)." and Dahmer's observation caused me to whisper 'polar opposites' under my breath as that observation clicked once again in my head when he spoke of previously believing in the face-value, dry, scientific black-and-white interpretation of evolutionary theory, and then suddenly, out of some existential crisis, decided to switch to the absolute other end of the spectrum by deciding that "evolution is just a complete lie" and that "the Lord Jesus Christ is the true creator of the Heavens and the Earth." In doing so, he completely disregarded any sort of middle-ground he could have explored as there is quite a lot of truth to the old saying that there are 'two sides to every story, and somewhere in the middle lies the truth.' Still, the human tendency seems to be to draw our observations, perceptions, and beliefs in black-and-white as if it has to be one or the other.
On his observation that "the whole theory cheapens life," I would have to agree in some sense.
I haven't studied evolution enough to have my own valid opinion on whether I believe it to be true or not, but I take nothing at face-value, not even science which, in many ways, demands you do so in the same way religion demands you subjugate your mind to its will. This does not, however, alleviate the fact that I believe it holds much more credibility than any sort of religious faith does, and certainly holds more truth than Creationism ever could.
To truly have a humbled and rational perspective on the world, one must understand that science is simply human observation and is, in many ways, nothing but a human construct. It, to, is flawed, and one must resist the urge to take it at face-value simply due to the fact that it is the only clearly defined alternative to religion and metaphysics (both which intertwine with it at different capacities depending on the faith and context).
I agree with Dahmer in his assertion that the way he interpreted the theory definitely cheapens life, and that the way in which it is presented also gives a dry and meaningless feel to existence.
As human beings, we need to humble our observations and give absolutely everything the benefit of the doubt. Absolutely everything, otherwise we risk getting trapped in a mode of thought that propagates the illusion that we need to make definite decisions regarding our beliefs, and choose between one side or the other.
Not that I really expected a serial killer to have such insightful ability.
Where do the labels put me in respect to Nihilism?
I am not a pessimistic philosopher.
Although my existential tendencies can occasionally be a burden during random dizzy-spells when I'm unsure of what's happening to me, I believe that the Universe and existence/ life itself are such beautiful and incredible things, whether meaningless or not.
Wikipedia describes Nihilism as: "the philosophical doctrine suggesting the negation of one or more putatively meaningful aspects of life. Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism which argues that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value."
This is where things get interesting.
I agree that, beyond human perceptions, both individual and collective, there is no objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value to life. But within the realm of the human psyche there is an intrinsic value to life, as it's absolutely everything there is to the conscious mind. Once it's gone, life loses that intrinsic value which existed only to you (or, in a collective sense, to 'us') as a living, breathing, thinking, and seeing human being. Whether there is a heaven, a hell, a Paradise, Valhalla, reincarnation, or the Universe repeats itself over and over again infinitely, as far as I'm willing to put expectations on the concept of death and an end to my conscious existence, it all ends in absolutely nothing for all of us.
Our pursuit of knowledge and answers, and our search for higher modes of thought as well as comfort in life that we will continue to live past death all end in the blank, intrinsically meaningless and apparent end of the road we call death.
Nihilists are famous for, as well as stereotyped as becoming jaded and miserable as a result of such observations on our mortality and the perceptive meaninglessness of life beyond conscious and intelligent existence, but in my opinion, they look at it in such an ungrateful, unappreciative aspect as if all of this isn't enough to satisfy them, and as far as I'm concerned, that's not only a selfish outlook, but an outlook which is both unnecessary and nothing but a waste of time, energy, and emotion.
At the risk of sounding slightly condescending (not that it really means much, as 'condescending' is also a matter of opinion and perspective), such negative observations are not something to be resisted with positive thought; they are simply incorrect. Not that there is a correct answer or observation to make, but any philosophy lacking the existential incredulity at the fact that we have the privilege to exist in any way, shape, or form at all misses one of the key observations in life.
So what, we're small and insignificant to the Universe? The only reason that suddenly became an inconvenience to us is because we realized there probably isn't a God, or God's, so such a downgrade in our egocentric perception of the bigger picture seemed like a slap in the face; as if we had suddenly become so much less as a result.
But in all honesty, Godlessness is more.
Sure, that illusory and comforting guarantee that there was always someone (or something) looking over us, as well as caring for us may be gone, and with it a sense of comforting certainty has disintegrated, but it's not as if the truth has been revealed to be a pessimistic meaninglessness.
In fact, the nature of human perception, after falsely acknowledging there was only that single aspect to the entirety of the Universe, couldn't comprehend how full the Universe really was once God suddenly became absent from it. Our first reaction to the lack of a deity was to replace one single observatory aspect with another; from the optimistic certainty of a God, to the pessimistic certainty of absolute meaninglessness.
It seems to be human nature to gravitate to polar opposite sides of one side or another (ex: good or evil, everything or nothing, left wing or right wing, etc) when the truth is, not only is there no objective truth to anything at all (think about that for a moment: it leaves room for the mind to acknowledge that if the truth is 'there is no objective truth,' it's up to you to decide whether there is or not, or perhaps neither is true), there are simply many, many different truths, some connected to one another, and others not related at all.
For this reason, I scoff at scientists as well as philosophers that believe there is some universal law that binds everything together. From our spec of dust floating around a spec of sand in an unbelievably large galaxy which is, in itself, a spec of sand in comparison to the unimaginable number of other galaxies, there is no way we can ever possibly know if there is a universal, overarching law to everything in existence, and the idea of 'law' is, in itself, nothing but a human perspective and a push for some sort of certainty.
As Voltaire once said: "Doubt is not a comfortable feeling, but certainty is absurd."
And I disagree with him in a sense. I do, indeed, find comfort in doubt, and find discomfort in anything that claims it has found certainty in everything, be it religious, philosophical, or scientific.
Or, as Bill Maher put it: "I don't know, and neither do you. So stop pretending that you do know."
Although my existential tendencies can occasionally be a burden during random dizzy-spells when I'm unsure of what's happening to me, I believe that the Universe and existence/ life itself are such beautiful and incredible things, whether meaningless or not.
Wikipedia describes Nihilism as: "the philosophical doctrine suggesting the negation of one or more putatively meaningful aspects of life. Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism which argues that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value."
This is where things get interesting.
I agree that, beyond human perceptions, both individual and collective, there is no objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value to life. But within the realm of the human psyche there is an intrinsic value to life, as it's absolutely everything there is to the conscious mind. Once it's gone, life loses that intrinsic value which existed only to you (or, in a collective sense, to 'us') as a living, breathing, thinking, and seeing human being. Whether there is a heaven, a hell, a Paradise, Valhalla, reincarnation, or the Universe repeats itself over and over again infinitely, as far as I'm willing to put expectations on the concept of death and an end to my conscious existence, it all ends in absolutely nothing for all of us.
Our pursuit of knowledge and answers, and our search for higher modes of thought as well as comfort in life that we will continue to live past death all end in the blank, intrinsically meaningless and apparent end of the road we call death.
Nihilists are famous for, as well as stereotyped as becoming jaded and miserable as a result of such observations on our mortality and the perceptive meaninglessness of life beyond conscious and intelligent existence, but in my opinion, they look at it in such an ungrateful, unappreciative aspect as if all of this isn't enough to satisfy them, and as far as I'm concerned, that's not only a selfish outlook, but an outlook which is both unnecessary and nothing but a waste of time, energy, and emotion.
At the risk of sounding slightly condescending (not that it really means much, as 'condescending' is also a matter of opinion and perspective), such negative observations are not something to be resisted with positive thought; they are simply incorrect. Not that there is a correct answer or observation to make, but any philosophy lacking the existential incredulity at the fact that we have the privilege to exist in any way, shape, or form at all misses one of the key observations in life.
So what, we're small and insignificant to the Universe? The only reason that suddenly became an inconvenience to us is because we realized there probably isn't a God, or God's, so such a downgrade in our egocentric perception of the bigger picture seemed like a slap in the face; as if we had suddenly become so much less as a result.
But in all honesty, Godlessness is more.
Sure, that illusory and comforting guarantee that there was always someone (or something) looking over us, as well as caring for us may be gone, and with it a sense of comforting certainty has disintegrated, but it's not as if the truth has been revealed to be a pessimistic meaninglessness.
In fact, the nature of human perception, after falsely acknowledging there was only that single aspect to the entirety of the Universe, couldn't comprehend how full the Universe really was once God suddenly became absent from it. Our first reaction to the lack of a deity was to replace one single observatory aspect with another; from the optimistic certainty of a God, to the pessimistic certainty of absolute meaninglessness.
It seems to be human nature to gravitate to polar opposite sides of one side or another (ex: good or evil, everything or nothing, left wing or right wing, etc) when the truth is, not only is there no objective truth to anything at all (think about that for a moment: it leaves room for the mind to acknowledge that if the truth is 'there is no objective truth,' it's up to you to decide whether there is or not, or perhaps neither is true), there are simply many, many different truths, some connected to one another, and others not related at all.
For this reason, I scoff at scientists as well as philosophers that believe there is some universal law that binds everything together. From our spec of dust floating around a spec of sand in an unbelievably large galaxy which is, in itself, a spec of sand in comparison to the unimaginable number of other galaxies, there is no way we can ever possibly know if there is a universal, overarching law to everything in existence, and the idea of 'law' is, in itself, nothing but a human perspective and a push for some sort of certainty.
As Voltaire once said: "Doubt is not a comfortable feeling, but certainty is absurd."
And I disagree with him in a sense. I do, indeed, find comfort in doubt, and find discomfort in anything that claims it has found certainty in everything, be it religious, philosophical, or scientific.
Or, as Bill Maher put it: "I don't know, and neither do you. So stop pretending that you do know."
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