Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

Earlier today, I finished reading the book titled "God's Debris," written by Scott Adams, the creator and illustrator of the famous cartoon character known as Dilbert. It was quite an incredible book, albeit a fiction... it was wrapped in the blankets of philosophy, science, psychology, self-actualization, and, yes, speculation. I can't say, as of yet, if it was a life-changing book like a few I have read, but it's certain to have a lasting impact on me.

Basically, a package courier in New York City is charged with delivering a mysterious package to an equally mysterious old man. When he shows up at the old mans home, he is cryptically told that the package was meant for himself, and thus they start on a book-long debate on absolutely everything regarding life in the universe. One part of the book that really struck me was near the end, when the old man was listing the "5 stages of awareness." Although I admit I haven't quite reached stage 5, I'd like to look back on my past and observe as to whether I have reached the other 4 previous stages, as to me, it feels like I accelerated through many of these stages much earlier in my life than is expected, or normal, for most other people.

"He described what he called the five levels of awareness and said that all humans experience the first level of awareness at birth. That is when you first become aware that you exist."

Even the least intelligent of us have experienced, and may still be experiencing, this level of awareness. In my mind, I was aware of my own existence in some form by the time I was 3. Although that awareness was in no way verbalized within my infant mind, it was there, like a spiritual communion between my mental and physical self, as I began on the life-long journey of inner, as well as outer discovery.

"In the second level of awareness you understand that other people exist. You believe most of what you are told by authority figures. You accept the belief system in which you are raised."

I believe I fully reached this stage by the time I was 4, when a social reality was imposed on me by my preschool year. It was no longer that I was simply aware of the fact that my mother and father, as well as my brother existed... I discovered the reality that there were many more people beyond the frontiers of my immediate family. I developed through this stage in a natural progression, falling into line when I was told, taking everything I was taught by adults at face-value to be truth, and believing, once again, non-verbally, in some sort of 'chain of command,' which played a necessary role in my natural growth. At one point, by the time I was 10, I was attending church with my mother, and I believed strongly in the existence of a God. I prayed whenever I felt it necessary. All of a sudden, much of my past habits and beliefs exploded in my face as soon as I hit 12... but I suppressed such feelings, interpreting them as flawed and wrong, as no one else around me appeared to think in the same way. Therefore, it must have been wrong.

"At the third level of awareness you recognize that humans are often wrong about the things they believe. You feel that you might be wrong about some of your own beliefs but you don’t know which ones. Despite doubts, you still find comfort in your beliefs."

I'd say this stage existed between the time I was 11, and the time I was about 13. I began to realize, yet not entirely acknowledge, the evident flaws in many peoples ways of thinking, as well as there beliefs in certain things which lacked any real evidence. I began down the road to atheism, yet the road was rocky and unstable, and I began rudely contesting the idea of a God or any sort of religious deity, using the comforting, yet sour illusion of mockery to keep the idea away from any benefit of the doubt on my part.

"The fourth level is skepticism. You believe the scientific method is the best measure of what is true and you believe you have a good grasp of truth, thanks to science, your logic, and your senses. You are arrogant when it comes to dealing with people in levels two and three."

When I finally acknowledged the fact that I seemed to be reaching a higher level of consciousness, or awareness, as the book calls it, I did, indeed, become a skeptic. The tail-end of the sour illusion of mockery began to fade away slowly, as I became much more modest and secure in my views. Slowly, but surely, I began to give God the benefit of the doubt; yet this only became possible as I opened my eyes to the legion of other ideas the world had to offer, which humbled my egocentric view of my own 'awareness.' I began to speak down to people with religious beliefs, I found. Not directly, and not intentionally; but the arrogant idea that I may not be entirely right, but I was better-informed and better minded than those who bought in to such beliefs played a subconscious role in my attitude towards them.

"The fifth level of awareness is the Avatar. The Avatar understands that the mind is an illusion generator, not a window to reality. The Avatar recognizes science as a belief system, albeit a useful one. An Avatar is aware of ‘God’s’ power as expressed in probability and the inevitable recombination of ‘God’s’ consciousness."

Now, a big chunk of this last level of 'awareness' is based more around the stories narrative than it is based around reality itself. But, there is alot of truth to it.

I can't say that I am at this level regarding the story itself, but I can say I am either between levels 4 and 5, or I am level 5, yet within the frame of reality, as opposed to the frame of fiction. I do, indeed, believe science is sophisticated and incredible; yet it is not the be-all and end-all. It, too, like the book successfully illustrates, is a series of beliefs which are used to fill in our gaps of understanding. It is, despite its claims to the contrary, humanocentric by nature. It is us, and only us, doing the research, as well as labeling for our own convenience... not for that of nature or the universe. I mean, what is 'Animalia' beyond being our way to place animals on a chart, and label them as such? What is 'gravity?' What is 'hate?' What is 'love?' What is 'psychology?' And for that matter, what is 'God?'

Human consciousness and awareness is purely based on labels; otherwise, there would be no way to identify anything and everything within our minds. I mean, the entire idea of 'Levels of Awareness' is also nothing but a label; a way to classify thoughts, actions, and words based on their perceived significance. Albeit, labeling is quite useful.

It does lead me to one inevitable question, however...

Who is 'Kyran Paterson-King?'

The Angel in the Black Clouds

May you be blessed with,
Much laughter; deep love.

May you bear witness,
To the bright stars above.

May you see brightness,
On the darkest of days.

May you not settle,
For that which just pays.

May you not find,
You're required to fight.

May you allow others,
To carry the light.

May you see what is,

As opposed to what's not.

Feel blessed as you cry,

For you're alive, as you feel your tears drop.

Feel real as you kneel,

In modest respect,

For those who have seen,

Who have sung,

And who find no need to neglect.

Feel the freedom endowed,

Upon your innocent shoulders;

As it will make you guilt-ridden,

Or crush you like a boulder.

Remember to remember,

Forget little, and let

The world play a game of picks, screws, and death.

You are as real to me, as real can get.

An Attemped Frame-Up

Hello again, cyberspace. I guess I really don't have much to apologize for this time around, considering that I posted only a few days ago... therefore, for once, I won't.
I thought I'd just give everyone a quick update on how I'm doing.
The girlfriend I mentioned in Quick as Quick Updates Come and I broke up quite awhile ago, but it was for the best. That's all I'm really going to say, so I won't go to in-depth with that. We're still friends, and we talk without any real issue, so it's not as if we've lost each other.

Aside from that, I'm now passing my English class with 57%, which, as sad a mark as that is in the sense that I love writing, it's definitely an upgrade from my 38% only a month or so back. I really do resent the structure of the English language sometimes.
Also, I got a haircut; it's been cut to just above my eyes, so I can now see; but that's abit of a boring side of things. I thought I'd mention it more to the benefit of those who I have physically met in my lifetime, and who read my blog on occasion.

Some completely inconvenient, and rather uncalled for drama unfolded last night, which, although it really had nothing to do with me or my mom and step-dad, somehow grew to envelop me. There was loud banging downstairs, in the tenants loft, as well as aggressive screaming and yelling. It sounded as if someone may have been physically assaulted, although that side of the story didn't properly reveal itself until later. I tried to ignore it, or at least not get involved in any capacity, and although it continued, my mom and step-dad went to bed, with my mom advising that if there was a knock at the door, that I refrain from answering, and instead pretend no one is home.
Finally, 2 loud crashes drew my parents quickly back from out of bed, and they came downstairs, after calling the police, to listen for themselves. They then went back to bed, after most of it had subsided, and I was left alone downstairs on the computer, aimlessly browsing my Facebook as I seem to always do. Almost as soon as they were back upstairs, the male tenant came to the door and began knocking. After no response, he tried again. Still, I refrained from answering. He then tried to peek through the mail-slot and into the hallway, explaining, in detail, his side of the story on what chaos had occurred, stating that his wife had come home "piss-drunk" and caused the largest scene he's ever bore witness too.

After refusing to let her inside, she broke (or attempted to break) the door down (personally, I have yet to check for myself, and I don't remember any definitive statements confirming the door being broken, just that she had at least attempted to do so, hence one of the louder crashes). She continued in her attempt, and happened to leave only a few minutes before the RCMP showed up.

When he was done his mail-slot rant, he asked that either my mom or step-dad come to the door so he could have a word with one (or both) of them. Following my moms instructions, I pretended I wasn't home, and did an idiotically revealing thing by silently switching off one of the lamps, as to cause him to notice someone was attempting to pretend as if they weren't there. He laughed, said he didn't "blame anyone" for not wanting to come to the door, tried a few more times to get someone to respond, gave up, and then retreated back downstairs just in time for the cops to arrive at his door. Just after he retreated downstairs, both of my parents showed-up, and asked what had just happened. I explained it to them in detail, and as such, they decided to sit and listen once again as he came into light verbal conflict with the police officers. It quickly transformed into a friendly exchange, in which they all shared a few laughs and jokes after the tenant explained what had happened. Finally, after about half an hour or so, the police left.

The tenant then came back upstairs in an attempt to find either one of my parents and explain to them what had occurred. My mother was still reluctant, but my step-dad answered the door anyways, and they began to chum it up as the tenant explained exactly what had happened, and how it would "never happen again." He then veered off topic in this, and began pointing out times when we, upstairs, had made way to much noise for the downstairs tenants to deal with.
Most of them, I'll admit, were all fair enough; for example: on Labor Day weekend, I had a friend over, and we pulled an all-nighter. I admit we might have been abit to loud, and I apologized for that. It wasn't until he began stating that either my brother or I had held quite a few "wild parties" when neither my mom nor step-dad were around. It obviously wasn't my brother, because he just isn't the party social kind of guy. If anyone in the house was, it was me.

Now, he explained in detail all the 'crazy parties' I'd had, as well as all the 'young girls' I had apparently had over. Getting suspicious and annoyed at the tenant, as I couldn't recall anything even close to this nature ever occurring, I continued to hold my tongue until he pointed out an apparent incident in which someone, during one of these parties, had allegedly had sex in his car, stating that his wife found "the seats pushed all the way back, and a used condom on the floor" the following morning. Now it was getting harder and harder to hold my tongue as I sat there listening. It wasn't until he said that he had witnessed a group of about "6 or 7 young girls smoking and drinking" on the front porch. What really caused me to get angry enough to intervene is when my step-dad concurred with him, stating that he had driven past at the time of said party, and witnessed the girls smoking and drinking on the front porch as well.

Quite angry and annoyed, I (rudely, I'll admit) told my step-dad to "shut the fuck up." I believe he misinterpreted it as me attempting to use the masculine 'bro code' thing or whatever in order to get him to not 'rat me out,' when, in reality, it had nothing to do with that at all, as I was more aggressively annoyed because none of these apparent parties had ever happened on my watch, as I hadn't even become aware of them until the tenant had decided to bring them up for no real reason (aside from a way to cover his own ass for what had just happened, as well as other past 'incidents').

I'm still quite annoyed by all of it, especially considering the subsequent conflicts it caused between myself and my parents. Honestly, the only people I can see having parties with smoking and drinking are the next-door neighbors, whom I know to be stoners (very nice stoners, but still stoners). They're also the only people within the general area I could actually picture having sex in someone elses car. I mean, that's not to say they did, but I know I certainly didn't, and I also know I've never had any parties at this house, let alone parties of that nature. Oh well, I'm sure whatever really happened will reveal itself in time. All I know is that despite what the tenant said, I know what the truth is (at least from my perspective). If there was a party, or parties, I was completely unaware of them until last night.

Man, people can be incredibly annoying and strange sometimes.

Conciousness in the Abscence of Life

I've been pondering this for only about 5 minutes, to be totally honest, but I thought I'd get it down in writing while it's still incredibly fresh in my mind.

I was contemplating the old evolutionary ways of 'survival of the fittest,' when I suddenly moved into the whole idea of consciousness. It's a proven fact that the human brain, which is the seat of consciousness, as well as humanity as an individual and a whole, is a biological structure, and as such, is subject to the universes fundamental physical laws. Thinking strictly in these terms, it would seem hard to really believe in the face-value interpretation of a spirit, especially one that continues to exist following the physical death of an individual. Now, to make myself clear, I am neither supporting nor condemning any religious or individual beliefs in regard to a post-mortem spirit; I am simply voicing my interpretation as it is at the moment.

It would seem, in a black-and-white sense, that when the human brain is dead, it's simply dead. That's all there is to it. As such, the consciousness of the passed individual is also destroyed. Interestingly, depending on the individual, it may not be as dead as one may believe.
In the sense that it has lost its awareness of itself, it is, or would at least seem to be dead, and many would argue that awareness of itself is what makes it conscious.

Let me stop dancing around the idea itself, and simply jump to the point.
For example:
There is a man who has decided to live his life to the fullest, as he sees it, and decides to go bodysuit-gliding through a part of the Andes mountains in South America, at a direct risk to his own life. Someone (or a group of people) decide to record it professionally and cinematically. The said gliding individual, after a heart-poundingly epic session of gliding, dies upon a rough landing due to a punctured wing. Regardless, the video is placed on the internet, and becomes incredibly popular, and as such, through the video, people relate to the conscious activities of the gliding man, and what he saw in the last moments of his life. I don't know about everyone else, but if I were to witness such a video, I would feel as if I would be glimpsing inside the gliding mans consciousness both at the moment, as well as a whole. That moment would give me a good idea of who he was and how he thought, as well as what and how he perceived. In this sense, his consciousness would live on not only in me, but in the millions of others who watched the video with an emotional maturity and understanding, regardless of the fact that he's dead.

Now, on the contrary, a young inward-looking individual who remains out of the public spotlight entirely, is at home at this bachelors apartment one night. He has only a few very distant friends, due to his self-imposed isolation. While alone, he chokes on a piece of food, and dies as a result. As soon as his consciousness disperses, it disperses into nothingness due to his remaining out of the public spotlight, and making it hard for the majority to ever understand, or ever get the chance to understand, what or how he perceived. His story would be very unlikely to be told anywhere, to anyone, due to the above reasoning's, and as such, everything about him would probably disperse entirely, and he would be largely forgotten, except as a vague memory by his distant friends. The only people that would be likely to remember him with any depth would be his immediate family; like his parents, or possible siblings, and through them is the only way his consciousness would continue past his death, providing they understood him well enough.

I'm honestly not entirely sure about any of it, but it's a interesting concept. Just thought I'd get it down on my blog, unlike my other in-depth philosophical thoughts I haven't got much of a chance to write about in the past few weeks.

Anyways, hope this was interesting for anyone who decided to read, and have a good night, Blue Planet.

Quick as quick updates come

Hello cyberspace. I apologize, as I always do, for my long internet absence, at least in the world of Blogspot. I've been quite preoccupied with life as of late, at least for the past week, considering it's been Halloween. On Thursday, I was busy heading to my dads house; Friday, I was busy with school and spending time with friends; Saturday, I was busy at a Halloween party; Sunday, I was busy with leaving said Halloween party and spending the day with my girlfriend. On Monday and Tuesday, I was busy being sick, as well as entering 'NaNoWriMo' (National Novel Writing Month), in which you write somewhere around 1600 words per day as part of a novel of your own creation, and by the end of the month, you'll have somewhere around 50,000 words; the equivalent of roughly 175 pages.

I, myself, have started writing the next phase of my long-in-the-works story "Ihrer Wilkommen Amerika," about a world in which the Nazi's win the Second World War (at least in Europe, as America remains neutral), and I'm lucky as I have plenty of groundwork to go off of from previous drafts and notes I wrote a few months back.

Aside from all that, my love life has been generally quite good, although the age difference really does create some strange bumps in maturity level I'm only beginning to truly acknowledge. The thing that matters the most, though, is that I'm generally happy with her, and we'll see where it goes from here. She has many more years to grow, and many issues she needs to sort out with herself, as well as others, yet that's as far as I'm going to delve into that half of the story, as it's really not the internets business to know, nor my business to tell.

As for my social life, that's going great. No bumps in the road on that side of the spectrum, as everything seems to have levelled out to what it will probably always be in some way, shape, or form, despite future distances between all of us.

Anyways, I should probably sign off. Peace out, blue planet!