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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

An Attemped Frame-Up

Hello again, cyberspace. I guess I really don't have much to apologize for this time around, considering that I posted only a few days ago... therefore, for once, I won't.
I thought I'd just give everyone a quick update on how I'm doing.
The girlfriend I mentioned in Quick as Quick Updates Come and I broke up quite awhile ago, but it was for the best. That's all I'm really going to say, so I won't go to in-depth with that. We're still friends, and we talk without any real issue, so it's not as if we've lost each other.

Aside from that, I'm now passing my English class with 57%, which, as sad a mark as that is in the sense that I love writing, it's definitely an upgrade from my 38% only a month or so back. I really do resent the structure of the English language sometimes.
Also, I got a haircut; it's been cut to just above my eyes, so I can now see; but that's abit of a boring side of things. I thought I'd mention it more to the benefit of those who I have physically met in my lifetime, and who read my blog on occasion.

Some completely inconvenient, and rather uncalled for drama unfolded last night, which, although it really had nothing to do with me or my mom and step-dad, somehow grew to envelop me. There was loud banging downstairs, in the tenants loft, as well as aggressive screaming and yelling. It sounded as if someone may have been physically assaulted, although that side of the story didn't properly reveal itself until later. I tried to ignore it, or at least not get involved in any capacity, and although it continued, my mom and step-dad went to bed, with my mom advising that if there was a knock at the door, that I refrain from answering, and instead pretend no one is home.
Finally, 2 loud crashes drew my parents quickly back from out of bed, and they came downstairs, after calling the police, to listen for themselves. They then went back to bed, after most of it had subsided, and I was left alone downstairs on the computer, aimlessly browsing my Facebook as I seem to always do. Almost as soon as they were back upstairs, the male tenant came to the door and began knocking. After no response, he tried again. Still, I refrained from answering. He then tried to peek through the mail-slot and into the hallway, explaining, in detail, his side of the story on what chaos had occurred, stating that his wife had come home "piss-drunk" and caused the largest scene he's ever bore witness too.

After refusing to let her inside, she broke (or attempted to break) the door down (personally, I have yet to check for myself, and I don't remember any definitive statements confirming the door being broken, just that she had at least attempted to do so, hence one of the louder crashes). She continued in her attempt, and happened to leave only a few minutes before the RCMP showed up.

When he was done his mail-slot rant, he asked that either my mom or step-dad come to the door so he could have a word with one (or both) of them. Following my moms instructions, I pretended I wasn't home, and did an idiotically revealing thing by silently switching off one of the lamps, as to cause him to notice someone was attempting to pretend as if they weren't there. He laughed, said he didn't "blame anyone" for not wanting to come to the door, tried a few more times to get someone to respond, gave up, and then retreated back downstairs just in time for the cops to arrive at his door. Just after he retreated downstairs, both of my parents showed-up, and asked what had just happened. I explained it to them in detail, and as such, they decided to sit and listen once again as he came into light verbal conflict with the police officers. It quickly transformed into a friendly exchange, in which they all shared a few laughs and jokes after the tenant explained what had happened. Finally, after about half an hour or so, the police left.

The tenant then came back upstairs in an attempt to find either one of my parents and explain to them what had occurred. My mother was still reluctant, but my step-dad answered the door anyways, and they began to chum it up as the tenant explained exactly what had happened, and how it would "never happen again." He then veered off topic in this, and began pointing out times when we, upstairs, had made way to much noise for the downstairs tenants to deal with.
Most of them, I'll admit, were all fair enough; for example: on Labor Day weekend, I had a friend over, and we pulled an all-nighter. I admit we might have been abit to loud, and I apologized for that. It wasn't until he began stating that either my brother or I had held quite a few "wild parties" when neither my mom nor step-dad were around. It obviously wasn't my brother, because he just isn't the party social kind of guy. If anyone in the house was, it was me.

Now, he explained in detail all the 'crazy parties' I'd had, as well as all the 'young girls' I had apparently had over. Getting suspicious and annoyed at the tenant, as I couldn't recall anything even close to this nature ever occurring, I continued to hold my tongue until he pointed out an apparent incident in which someone, during one of these parties, had allegedly had sex in his car, stating that his wife found "the seats pushed all the way back, and a used condom on the floor" the following morning. Now it was getting harder and harder to hold my tongue as I sat there listening. It wasn't until he said that he had witnessed a group of about "6 or 7 young girls smoking and drinking" on the front porch. What really caused me to get angry enough to intervene is when my step-dad concurred with him, stating that he had driven past at the time of said party, and witnessed the girls smoking and drinking on the front porch as well.

Quite angry and annoyed, I (rudely, I'll admit) told my step-dad to "shut the fuck up." I believe he misinterpreted it as me attempting to use the masculine 'bro code' thing or whatever in order to get him to not 'rat me out,' when, in reality, it had nothing to do with that at all, as I was more aggressively annoyed because none of these apparent parties had ever happened on my watch, as I hadn't even become aware of them until the tenant had decided to bring them up for no real reason (aside from a way to cover his own ass for what had just happened, as well as other past 'incidents').

I'm still quite annoyed by all of it, especially considering the subsequent conflicts it caused between myself and my parents. Honestly, the only people I can see having parties with smoking and drinking are the next-door neighbors, whom I know to be stoners (very nice stoners, but still stoners). They're also the only people within the general area I could actually picture having sex in someone elses car. I mean, that's not to say they did, but I know I certainly didn't, and I also know I've never had any parties at this house, let alone parties of that nature. Oh well, I'm sure whatever really happened will reveal itself in time. All I know is that despite what the tenant said, I know what the truth is (at least from my perspective). If there was a party, or parties, I was completely unaware of them until last night.

Man, people can be incredibly annoying and strange sometimes.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Conciousness in the Abscence of Life

I've been pondering this for only about 5 minutes, to be totally honest, but I thought I'd get it down in writing while it's still incredibly fresh in my mind.

I was contemplating the old evolutionary ways of 'survival of the fittest,' when I suddenly moved into the whole idea of consciousness. It's a proven fact that the human brain, which is the seat of consciousness, as well as humanity as an individual and a whole, is a biological structure, and as such, is subject to the universes fundamental physical laws. Thinking strictly in these terms, it would seem hard to really believe in the face-value interpretation of a spirit, especially one that continues to exist following the physical death of an individual. Now, to make myself clear, I am neither supporting nor condemning any religious or individual beliefs in regard to a post-mortem spirit; I am simply voicing my interpretation as it is at the moment.

It would seem, in a black-and-white sense, that when the human brain is dead, it's simply dead. That's all there is to it. As such, the consciousness of the passed individual is also destroyed. Interestingly, depending on the individual, it may not be as dead as one may believe.
In the sense that it has lost its awareness of itself, it is, or would at least seem to be dead, and many would argue that awareness of itself is what makes it conscious.

Let me stop dancing around the idea itself, and simply jump to the point.
For example:
There is a man who has decided to live his life to the fullest, as he sees it, and decides to go bodysuit-gliding through a part of the Andes mountains in South America, at a direct risk to his own life. Someone (or a group of people) decide to record it professionally and cinematically. The said gliding individual, after a heart-poundingly epic session of gliding, dies upon a rough landing due to a punctured wing. Regardless, the video is placed on the internet, and becomes incredibly popular, and as such, through the video, people relate to the conscious activities of the gliding man, and what he saw in the last moments of his life. I don't know about everyone else, but if I were to witness such a video, I would feel as if I would be glimpsing inside the gliding mans consciousness both at the moment, as well as a whole. That moment would give me a good idea of who he was and how he thought, as well as what and how he perceived. In this sense, his consciousness would live on not only in me, but in the millions of others who watched the video with an emotional maturity and understanding, regardless of the fact that he's dead.

Now, on the contrary, a young inward-looking individual who remains out of the public spotlight entirely, is at home at this bachelors apartment one night. He has only a few very distant friends, due to his self-imposed isolation. While alone, he chokes on a piece of food, and dies as a result. As soon as his consciousness disperses, it disperses into nothingness due to his remaining out of the public spotlight, and making it hard for the majority to ever understand, or ever get the chance to understand, what or how he perceived. His story would be very unlikely to be told anywhere, to anyone, due to the above reasoning's, and as such, everything about him would probably disperse entirely, and he would be largely forgotten, except as a vague memory by his distant friends. The only people that would be likely to remember him with any depth would be his immediate family; like his parents, or possible siblings, and through them is the only way his consciousness would continue past his death, providing they understood him well enough.

I'm honestly not entirely sure about any of it, but it's a interesting concept. Just thought I'd get it down on my blog, unlike my other in-depth philosophical thoughts I haven't got much of a chance to write about in the past few weeks.

Anyways, hope this was interesting for anyone who decided to read, and have a good night, Blue Planet.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Quick as quick updates come

Hello cyberspace. I apologize, as I always do, for my long internet absence, at least in the world of Blogspot. I've been quite preoccupied with life as of late, at least for the past week, considering it's been Halloween. On Thursday, I was busy heading to my dads house; Friday, I was busy with school and spending time with friends; Saturday, I was busy at a Halloween party; Sunday, I was busy with leaving said Halloween party and spending the day with my girlfriend. On Monday and Tuesday, I was busy being sick, as well as entering 'NaNoWriMo' (National Novel Writing Month), in which you write somewhere around 1600 words per day as part of a novel of your own creation, and by the end of the month, you'll have somewhere around 50,000 words; the equivalent of roughly 175 pages.

I, myself, have started writing the next phase of my long-in-the-works story "Ihrer Wilkommen Amerika," about a world in which the Nazi's win the Second World War (at least in Europe, as America remains neutral), and I'm lucky as I have plenty of groundwork to go off of from previous drafts and notes I wrote a few months back.

Aside from all that, my love life has been generally quite good, although the age difference really does create some strange bumps in maturity level I'm only beginning to truly acknowledge. The thing that matters the most, though, is that I'm generally happy with her, and we'll see where it goes from here. She has many more years to grow, and many issues she needs to sort out with herself, as well as others, yet that's as far as I'm going to delve into that half of the story, as it's really not the internets business to know, nor my business to tell.

As for my social life, that's going great. No bumps in the road on that side of the spectrum, as everything seems to have levelled out to what it will probably always be in some way, shape, or form, despite future distances between all of us.

Anyways, I should probably sign off. Peace out, blue planet!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Fractal Ambivalence

When I look out from the smudged and cracked windows of home,
I know there's no place quite the same as right here;
No place I could find that quite catches my ear,
And no place quite the same that can swallow my fears,
To the depths of this heated and comfortable box,
In which I am protected by numerous locks,
From intruders and bandits,
Salesmen and clerks;
I am the legal intruder,
And for me, that's what works.

Yet I'm here when, in fact, I am meant to be there;
Not far from my home,
I'm meant to be learning whats fair.

I am meant to be learning what's right and what's wrong,
Yet 6 hours of my time a day seems quite long,
To be spending on verbs, nouns and pronouns,
On algebra, fractions, and abnormal word sounds.

This life is not theirs; this life is all mine,
Such an old and used system would appear to be right,
Yet I beg to differ, as revolution now squeaks,
To push through the systems cracks and cause leaks,
In which free-thinking filters the words of the old,
Who believe themselves better, for they're trained and so bold.

When I look to society, what is it I see?
Is it a throng of a thousand people who seem to be free?
Not quite, yet at the same time, that seems quite close,
They are free in a box, in which authority is the host.

"Civilization has to be defended against the individual,
And its regulations, institutions and commands are directed to that task."*
Quite an obvious command,
And it seems that at last,
Man is learning to embrace what they each see as free;
And it does not simply stop at being free to simply be,
It goes beyond such in mind, matter, soul, and in trust;
For it is the systems denial,
Towards which I lust.

The institutions, and nations,
Corporations, news stations,
Stateism, classism, all attempt to control,
Who I am, what I do, where I go, who I meet;
They tell me to relax, and just take a quick seat;
Yet I know what I want from life is free feet,
To be who I am,
And take all the heat.
To do what I do,
And ignore what's 'elite.'
To go where I go,
And control, as such, my feet.
To meet who I meet,
And next to them, take a seat.

I am not a name,
And I am not a number.
I am always awake in my mind,
As I slumber.

*Quote from SIGMUND FREUD; THE FUTURE OF AN ILLUSION (1928)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

To Contradict Brian

So, in the spirit of good friendship, I am going to analyze and debunk everything that is visible on the front page of Brian Raimondo's blog, "To Contradict Kyran."

1: The Weekly Song Pick: Ain't No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephent.
No analyzation or debunking needed here. Except, maybe, the fact that Brian has nothing to do with this song... not that he claimed he did or anything... just thought I'd toss that out there for good measure.

2: Recommended Series -- Pure Pwnage
This one is a simple one to debunk. Why? Because this show is, without a doubt, not very funny.
Sure, I got a few chuckles, but that was all I got out of it. It is in no way measurable against shows such as The Simpsons, South Park, or yes, even Family Guy, which I have been found to be waning in quality humor as of late.
It's a completley immature, commercially driven series which tries to force chuckles out of the audience.

Done and done.

3: Two admins are better than one...
If you say so, Brian, but I'm the only admin for "It's a Friendly Inferno!" and I've got over 260 posts, of which about 98% are of good quality (based on my personal opinion).
I do have to admit, Thomas has got quite the repetoir of good wording, as well as superior spelling and grammar to Brian, who can't spell worth shit and types new posts like he would talk to someone over MSN or Facebook.

4: Culture Jamming FTW :D
Ok Brian, as if I was planning to take this seriously in the first place... but using 'FTW' and an emoticon crushed any chance there was that I was going to even give this a serious thought in the slightest sense of the word.
But I'll give you kudos on the Photoshop skill. That was clever. Even if the humor was abit more than slightly immature.

5: The blog's official mini poem
This is an easy one. For one, he spelt 'Hip' wrong in the first sentence, writing it as follows: 'Hipp.' Maybe it was some mislead, somewhat sad attempt to seem 'with the times,' but I mean- come on. I can already picture when he has children one day; there faces cringing in emberassment during Parent-Teacher conferences when he starts using internet slang to explain his son/daughters skill level in Biology: "Yeah, my son's pree 'leet when it comes to Bio, dood."
Aside from that, I'd have to say I appreciate the (slightly off-tempo) poetic beat he keeps, even in the last few sentences, when the poem itself is technically over.

6: Three day's grace- Break
This entire video is complete BS. I mean, come on. This isn't a cover.. it's as if he left his camera on while practicing! The least he could do is learn the song in full, and then show how skilled he truly is, by playing it with little or no mistake for avid (and obviously quite lonely) YouTuber's out there. All I can say is that I didn't have time to watch the entire video, because I was to busy not doing anything, which I needed more time to do, and not waste it on lesser things such as veiwing half-ass covers of songs that only seek to make people feel good about feeling bad. EEEMMOOOO.

7: Batman Jumps-- Poem by Tom Robins
There is absolutley nothing that needs to be debunked or mocked in this entire post, save for maybe Tom's misjudgement in where his poem can 'breed' more successfully (obviously the legit enclaves of It's a Friendly Inferno!). Aside from said misjudgment, this post is the greatest of the posts on Brian's blog, due to the fact that Brian had nothing to do with it.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Collapse of the Closed-Minds Walls

After watching the film-adaption of the movie "Into the Wild" during my pshychology class, it seems as if my discontent with society has come to a boiling point.
Maybe it's simply the emotional pull left behind from the films sheer power, I'm not sure; all I know is that society, as a whole, has alot it needs to repair within itself, whether it has intentions to which are untimately noble or not.

People act righteous, as if they're better than others, as if they deserve more, and have more of a right in what they say, and they discredit what others have to say because 'people think differently;' but this isn't a compromise on their part, as they later announce to their friends that they dislike the person to which voiced such opinions, due, in part, because of the opinions (yet they point out arbitrary dimensions of the person as a whole, such as their physical appearance, the way they talk, the way they walk, etc). Society supports such ideas, through a stiff process of individuality, which I support almost entirely, save for the fact that it causes some people to become so stiff in their 'individual' thinking, that they discredit all others, with little or no compromise, stating that 'the way they think is the way they think.' Now, I'm not saying you should believe what everyone else says has an authority over what you have to say, not at all; I just believe that you should always listen to what others have to say, and absorb it as food for thought. Once it's been processed enough times through your head, it develops enough to either be discarded entirely, absorbed in part, or taken at face-value. In that sense, the ideas relevance to the individual relies entirely on the machinations of the individuals mind, keeping said mind open to new ideas, yet not before critically analyzing them, or tossing them out as the thoughts of 'someone else,' and 'not me.'

People need to understand that interpretation is the key to everything, but never close off certain interpretations based on who or where they come from, as you can learn something from absolutley anyone, even a baby, if you open your mind up wide enough. Never interpret structured aithority as being real authority.

Remember to think for yourselves.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Fragment of an Enlightening Conversation via Facebook.

Me

we create meaning with our minds. for all you know, God created everything for the hell of it.. he had no reason or rhyme.

He could've done it naively.

stop assuming so much :P:P

7:30pmRowaneskii

but kyran, my dear kyran, assumptions are how humans stay sane. :P:P

7:31pmMe

Explain why.

7:31pmRowaneskii

because if all we had was stark reality, there would be no hope, and with no hope, there is no reason to live.

we have to assume things will turn out okay

7:32pmMe

but now you're assuming that without hope, there is no reason to live.

hope is man-made as well

7:33pmRowaneskii

it is

7:33pmMe

i don't think algae in the sea hope

7:33pmRowaneskii

okay

BUT i said assumptions keep HUMANS sane. I said nothing of algae

so i should refine and say without hope, there is no reason for humans to live.

7:35pmRowaneskii

also, stop taking this so seriously. :P:P i'm open to the notion that everything I believe is a lie... I just prefer not to think like that.

7:36pmMe

there doesnt need to be a reason :P:P and im not being bitter about this.. I just speak my mind. And what I'm speaking from is pretty serious.

7:38pmRowaneskii

just as long as you'll still be my friend tomorrow :P:P i'm actually having fun.

7:38pmMe

of course xD

why wouldnt i be?!?

7:38pmRowaneskii

and yes there does, because we as humans have free choice and often choose not to live

haha if i dreadfully offended you with my stubborn religiousness :P:P

7:42pmMe

haha you didnt. otherwise i'd be offended quite often by quite a few people.

7:42pmRowaneskii

lols

and you didn't respond to my point

7:47pmMe

repeat it in full :P:P im just multitasking.. plus i didnt quite get what u meant

7:48pmRowaneskii

there has to be a reason to live, because humans have free choice to live or die and many choose to die if they feel they have no purpose.

7:51pmMe

but that comes down to their choice. i have a meaning in the sense that I am me, and I create me. My reason to live, is simply to live.

It wasnt predetermined by anything or anyone

7:52pmRowaneskii

thats not what i mean

i mean, you have a reason to live because you have hope that your life will be enjoyable and productive.

7:52pmMe

i have reason to live because its enjoyable and productive enough as it is.

what happens in the future will happen.

7:53pmRowaneskii

i enjoy how far we've gotten from the original topic :P:P

7:53pmMe

i mean, i'm not going to stop being productive, and im not going to stop enjoying it. there's just so much to contemplate and enjoy in life. thats why I live, and I think thats why most people live

7:54pmRowaneskii

the thing is, what if you had no hope at all that life would continue to be the same way? you are assuming that the world won't end tomorrow

which is why as humans, we need assumptions to stay sane.

7:56pmRowaneskii

on a side note, i love obese cats.

8:04pmMe

I doubt we need them. I highly doubt that. :P:P and so do i.

* * *

8:56pm
Me

haha, i like reading huuuge facebook arguments, then commenting on how little it meant to me, but how entertaining it was.

8:59pmRowaneskii

i like putting little sarcastic comments on everyone's emo statuses.

i have this friend named Will who always puts these psychotic, emo ones. He hates me every second day.

9:02pmRowaneskii

facebook is a preying ground for those with a sense of humor.

9:02pmMe

haha, thats so true. i love it.

and i mean.. if you're going to advertise stuff that personal, you deserve abit of mocking

9:03pmRowaneskii

fer shure

9:04pmRowaneskii

i hate it when people put those long statuses about how much their lives suck

9:05pmMe

yeah me too :P:P and u feel like a prick for wanting to put something.. but then you do it anyways

9:05pmRowaneskii

i never really feel like a prick

i just make up something later so they forgive me

9:29pmMe

ima go play some videogames for abit, then go to bed.. and sleep in (:

peace!!

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.