Taking tokes every 2 or 3 hours, we were up until the break of dawn simply removing ourselves from the real world. It was an interesting, as well as incredible experience while it lasted, but what came during and after really were not worth the rush in any sense.
This was not my first time getting stoned; I've done it about 5 or 6 times before, sporadically, in the past. It's never something I seek out, but more something that, if it happens, it happens.
I can honestly say, after trying it many times and getting the same general feeling, that doing drugs of any sort sucks.
Drinking is disgusting. The only time I even vaguely enjoy it is when I'm with friends, drinking an alcoholic beverage that actually tastes good, like Palm Bay, or sweet champagne. Beer is both pointless and disgusting, as far as I'm concerned. You chug down something that tastes terrible, in order to do something terrible to your body. Despite any rush you may get from it, the rush isn't worth the downfall the following day.
When I drink, I drink a couple sips... and only of something that tastes generally alright. I'm an automatic heavyweight when it comes to getting drunk, so getting drunk always entails a hangover for me. Even when I drink just enough to get buzzed, and manage to avoid the hangover, I always feel an underlying sense of melancholy the following day, which, to me, is never worth the rush.
The same thing goes for weed.
When I get high, I go nuts. I speak my mind, I make stupid comments, I rant, I laugh, and I constantly feel on the brink of simply passing out. Alongside this, I feel blatantly insecure and become hypersensitive to the actions of those I truly care about, which is what happened with my girlfriend.
Despite my awareness of her attitude having nothing to do with me, the way she seemed to avoid me and go into herself while she was high caused me to begin over-analyzing everything I did. I don't really wish to go in-depth, as it might be impolite for privacy purposes, but a lot of annoying hypocrisy in the way things occurred between us that night truly got to me.
I do love the rush of getting stoned; I mean, very few don't. But the downfall the following day, like it is with alcohol, just isn't worth it to me at all. It's a waste of my energy, a drain on my confidence, and an easy spark for future problems with friends, myself, and my girlfriend... not to mention the fact that, being completely aware of what I was like the night before, I feel like a total idiot in having acted the way I did, despite its lack of any real external consequence due to everyone else acting in similar ways, as pertaining to the effect it had on them individually.
It's strange. Some people get stoned to escape loneliness. I wasn't lonely at all. Now that I've gotten stoned once again, I suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness despite the fact that I know I'm not.
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