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Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Boredom Blues

I write to you right now due to boredom. Not incredible boredom, just boredom brought on via some minor annoyances and inconveniences.

I really have very little to talk about, except the fact that my first semester of Grade 10 is now out of the way and I have finished all my final exams for that particular semester.

I guess since I can think of nothing to directly write about, I will just let myself rant for as long as I feel to keep myself at least preoccupied and slightly entertained.
Well... hmm... where to start, and what to start on...
Well, I guess I'll tell you all whats on my mind, even though I'm not even completely sure what is.

Currently, I'm looking forward to the next time I can hang out with a group of my best friends, and due to some minor inconveniences and misunderstandings, I won't be hanging out with any today.
Last night I hung out with a bunch of friends, but I barely got to talk to my guy friends because my girlfriend was hogging me and we where just talking amongst ourselves, and pitching in every now and then with what my other two guy friends were doing.
I'm not sure if this slightly upset my two friends or not, or if they just didn't care at all.
Now, I believe, my girlfriend may be angry at me because I told her that today I just wished to spend some time with my two best friends that I didn't really pay much attention to yesterday, and it seemed like she understood, but she thought that another friend of ours, a girl, was going to be hanging out with us to, when in reality there had been no actual plan that was going to be for sure.
The other two friends of mine were going to go to a fitness place I would like to join, but don't have enough money that I can use to do so.
It makes me feel kind of left out, but I'm not angry, just bored and slightly upset.
They're going again tomorrow, so I'm assuming I won't get to hang out with them tomorrow. I'll probably end up hanging out with some other friends tomorrow, which I would like, but my other two best friends will probably be busy.
Well, that's what the norm of their actions have told me.
One of those friends, I've actually realized, is my best friend. I realized it before, and never would have denied it if asked, but never actually gave him that label in my head because I have so many best friends I don't usually like to label them by how good of friends I consider them to be.

Hopefully I'll have at least some fun this long weekend.

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.