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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A Disjointed Glance into my Life

To say the least, my life has been quite good in the past 2 months.
Aside from the minor and familiar affliction of eczema, things have been close to perfect.

It's close too 1 AM here, but not quite. I'm lying on my bed with my fathers Netbook computer, concentrating exclusively on the screen, considering all that faces away from it in my room is plastered black with darkness I wasn't quite expecting when I switched off my Xbox and TV.

I took a walk earlier, and the stars were quite clear, at least from what I could see beneath my upwardly restricting toque and hood. I always find myself glancing at the least, or gazing at the most, at the infinite wonder of the stars. I've even caught myself doing it virtually, within detailed video games such as Red Dead Redemption, GTA 4, or the Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. The Elder Scrolls stars I find to be the most fascinating, considering the game itself takes place in another (albeit fictional) world, so it's separate stars and constellations, and from what perspective?

Anyways, as you can tell, this is quite the disjointed blog post. I like it, as it reflects my mood at the moment; tired, with different emotions trying to lodge themselves in me for longer than a few fleeting moments. None of said emotions are bad, in any tragic context; one is optimistic indifference, the others, that come-and-go feeling of missing someone to different degrees as they pop into your mind in different concentrations; a feeling of now; a feeling of general happiness; and a feeling of very slight despair that is mixing distastefully with all of the others.

There are many things I'm looking forward to, however; and I'll admit, one isn't returning to school on the 4th. The biggest thing I'm looking forward to right now, to be honest, is my girlfriends return; but more immediately, New Years, when we here on planet Earth get to ring in a new year of arbitrary labels and time-barriers, which I too get a kick out of recognizing.
I'll be having a few people over that night, and we'll be pulling an all-nighter as to properly welcome the one and only 2011 into our world, and have some fun while were at it.

Anyways, blue planet, I'm going to go read, and then comfortably fall asleep to the sound of nothing. Peace out, and a Happy Holiday to everyone!
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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.