It's hard to sit alone at home
And wonder where you are.
I trust your safe and comfortable,
But why are you so far?
It's hard to lay to sleep at night
And know you won't be there
For me to love and to embrace
In winters morning air.
It's hard to wonder when I'll see your face
As close to mine
So kisses are not tugging memories..
But all the time.
It's hard to think that
During these 5 months of loving you
I've seen you for, at most, 3 weeks;
Inside my heart, you staged a coup.
I cry a lot
Because your face is rarely close to mine;
I neglect to mention all these tears most of the time
Because I chose this
And chose you
Despite the constant pain
Relief is only ever, at the most, a month away.
Yet I also hold out hope that you and I
Will someday be
Close to near-inseparable
And in love
Yet always free.
But.. for now
I've sentenced both my body and my mind
To missing you
Yet feeling it's a soul-mate that I find
Within your essence and your everything;
Yes, I love more
Of you than you could ever know exists;
Please know, that I am yours.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Fuck American universalism
is a new Facebook page I have created.
I am trying to get a strong following in order to make resistance obvious, so please, go like the page and add your input!
Fuck American universalism (on Facebook)
The United States believes it has a defacto authority over the rest of the planet whether it's via free-market economics, military strength, or international law and general influence, the United States has not only diminished civil liberties within its own borders; it is spreading its regressive policies forcefully throughout the world. Most recently, it is affecting the individual lives of each of us as well as the free world via attempts at passing legislation such as SOPA and PIPA, and supporting international legislature such as ACTA, all of which, if they are to pass into law, will effectively end internet freedom and therefore diminish civil liberties in the real world as well. The United States has, despite exiting Iraq, practiced its doctrine of preemptive warfare against Libya and Uganda, as well as amped-up its involvement in Afghanistan where it has been fighting an impossible war for 9 years now, ending hundreds of thousands of innocent lives and negatively affecting the worlds political and environmental health.It's time to stand-up to America and stop its corporate, military, virtual, and judicial expansionism before it effectively brings an end to the free world as we know it.
I am trying to get a strong following in order to make resistance obvious, so please, go like the page and add your input!
Fuck American universalism (on Facebook)
The United States believes it has a defacto authority over the rest of the planet whether it's via free-market economics, military strength, or international law and general influence, the United States has not only diminished civil liberties within its own borders; it is spreading its regressive policies forcefully throughout the world. Most recently, it is affecting the individual lives of each of us as well as the free world via attempts at passing legislation such as SOPA and PIPA, and supporting international legislature such as ACTA, all of which, if they are to pass into law, will effectively end internet freedom and therefore diminish civil liberties in the real world as well. The United States has, despite exiting Iraq, practiced its doctrine of preemptive warfare against Libya and Uganda, as well as amped-up its involvement in Afghanistan where it has been fighting an impossible war for 9 years now, ending hundreds of thousands of innocent lives and negatively affecting the worlds political and environmental health.It's time to stand-up to America and stop its corporate, military, virtual, and judicial expansionism before it effectively brings an end to the free world as we know it.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Quiet guns
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns
Go off inside my head.
Always thoughts of dreaming, falling fast inside my bed.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
From all the books I've read.
Always thoughts of falling, falling fast inside my head.
And should the sun speak in French tongues,
I know the words quite well.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
From all the bombs that fell.
And happiness is always seen,
Beneath its faded shroud;
But never when we feel it free,
Of pain and darkened clouds.
Metaphors and thoughts of death,
I've never seen to see;
I simply look and stare with awe,
I wish to simply be.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
Acknowledgement hurts truth.
Acknowledgement is relative;
These words do more than soothe.
Immortal in my mortal mind,
Yet frightened of the void.
I draw myself with hook and tie;
So far I have enjoyed
The ride.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
My throat is filled with lumps;
A sign, perhaps, that I am young,
And hit my first speed bump.
My feet, they weep in pain, inflamed,
My ears, they ring like screens.
Perhaps I'm rushing through this game,
As sadness tears the seams,
Of what seemed to be some sort of Zen,
A freedom cloud.
Regardless of this pain and sound,
I wish to live out loud,
And see the world in better health;
I'll make the dead me proud.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
Go off inside my head.
Always thoughts of dreaming, falling fast
Inside my bed.
Quiet guns
Go off inside my head.
Always thoughts of dreaming, falling fast inside my bed.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
From all the books I've read.
Always thoughts of falling, falling fast inside my head.
And should the sun speak in French tongues,
I know the words quite well.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
From all the bombs that fell.
And happiness is always seen,
Beneath its faded shroud;
But never when we feel it free,
Of pain and darkened clouds.
Metaphors and thoughts of death,
I've never seen to see;
I simply look and stare with awe,
I wish to simply be.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
Acknowledgement hurts truth.
Acknowledgement is relative;
These words do more than soothe.
Immortal in my mortal mind,
Yet frightened of the void.
I draw myself with hook and tie;
So far I have enjoyed
The ride.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
My throat is filled with lumps;
A sign, perhaps, that I am young,
And hit my first speed bump.
My feet, they weep in pain, inflamed,
My ears, they ring like screens.
Perhaps I'm rushing through this game,
As sadness tears the seams,
Of what seemed to be some sort of Zen,
A freedom cloud.
Regardless of this pain and sound,
I wish to live out loud,
And see the world in better health;
I'll make the dead me proud.
Quiet guns,
Quiet guns,
Go off inside my head.
Always thoughts of dreaming, falling fast
Inside my bed.
Friday, January 13, 2012
I'm not quite sure what to say.
My experimental journey down to the Lower Mainland has been quite interesting, as well as quite rough in many aspects as well.
Although I may or may not be repeating myself in stating what has been good and bad about it, there have been many different sides to this strange adventure.
On the bright-side, I have tested the waters. I have discovered both places I would love to live, and places I would prefer never to live in again (no offence, Port Coquitlam, but suburbia just isn't for me).
I have also discovered what I may wish to do as a career, and what I certainly wish to leave and never return to as a job as soon as the first better opportunity presents itself (in this case, McDonald's has been everything I always expected it would be, and therefore decided I never wanted to apply to it... but alas, fate plays a cruel game called 'currency.' Regardless, I am glad I worked there, as I now have said experience to add to my life story and mental portfolio) and said opportunity has arisen in the form of A&W (which I have always admired much more than McDonald's for its better quality food, service, and general atmosphere).
Also on the bright-side, I have somewhat tasted the city life, albeit only tasted, as life in Coquitlam really has nothing on life right in the Downtown core. At some point in my life, I would like to live in Downtown Vancouver and spend a few years as an urbanite, making new friends, pursuing artistic endeavours, partying, and causing the friendly coffee baristas down the street to memorize my order off by heart. As well as possibly become a barista myself at some small-time quality coffee bar overlooking English Bay.
All in good time.
And one last point for the bright-side: working at McDonald's has also inspired me to go back to school earlier than I was expecting to. I am also returning to Powell River on January 26th. However, more detail on both of these upcoming events will come later in this post.
On the not-so-bright-side, it has been a stressful few months, and it seems as if said stress has taken its toll on my physical well-being coupled with other more environmentally motivated causes. My eczema has flared up again, but thankfully only severely on my right foot. However, an itchy/ painful flare-up on the bottom of said foot makes it hard to enjoy going on walks or standing for hours on end at whatever job I may be working at. It has also, I'm sure, contributed to (at least the sustainment of) my swollen lymph node and the ringing in my ears, as well as any coinciding anxiety. It's been just under 2 months, and my ears are still ringing. Not in any capacity that severely compromises my quality of life, but enough to be both disconcerting and annoying. The combination of a swollen lymph node, ringing in my ears, an eczema flare-up, and occasional anxiety has brought down my quality of life a notch collectively, but I have faith that, if no sooner, most of these symptoms (especially the eczema and lymph node) will subside as the spring and summer months draw closer. In fact... the lymph node has been dying down significantly in the past few days, so I wouldn't be surprised to see it gone by the end of the month.
Beyond my blabbering about my seemingly not-so-pristine health at the moment, I'll update you all on 2 large developments in my life that are now hurtling my way: my imminent return to Powell River, which includes a return to the airwaves with my radio show 'Intrigue' on 90.1 FM CJMP, and my attending post-secondary this September. Although it is most likely returning to school is what I'll be doing, I've made a back-up plan inside of my head: in the event that I don't get accepted to the school and/or program of my choice, or I do not get a student loan, whether simply not a sufficient amount or I am not eligible for one at all, I am going to work and save money for the next 6 months regardless with school being my target. But if said target cannot be hit, I will use the money instead to travel. Where? I have no idea as of yet, as that's plan B, and not plan A.
Another 2 options that are on the table couple both travel and school together; one is the novel idea of moving to India as an international student to attend the University of Delhi, which costs 5000 rupees in tuition fees. 5000 rupees, however, averages out to about $98 Canadian. Which is an absolutely insane bargain, especially considering the plane ride would cost an infinite amount more than that. Another idea sticks closer to home for the time being; and that's looking into a co-op exchange program of some sort where I attend a Semester or 2 in an available college or university via whatever college or university I will be attending. In some ways, the co-op is probably more favourable, as it isn't as long-term as committing myself to school in India would be. As well, the culture of the co-op country would probably be more familiar then that of India, so the culture shock factor would be less of an issue.
But India would be an interesting option.. and it's certainly not off the table.
Especially considering the money I'd save.
Although I may or may not be repeating myself in stating what has been good and bad about it, there have been many different sides to this strange adventure.
On the bright-side, I have tested the waters. I have discovered both places I would love to live, and places I would prefer never to live in again (no offence, Port Coquitlam, but suburbia just isn't for me).
I have also discovered what I may wish to do as a career, and what I certainly wish to leave and never return to as a job as soon as the first better opportunity presents itself (in this case, McDonald's has been everything I always expected it would be, and therefore decided I never wanted to apply to it... but alas, fate plays a cruel game called 'currency.' Regardless, I am glad I worked there, as I now have said experience to add to my life story and mental portfolio) and said opportunity has arisen in the form of A&W (which I have always admired much more than McDonald's for its better quality food, service, and general atmosphere).
Also on the bright-side, I have somewhat tasted the city life, albeit only tasted, as life in Coquitlam really has nothing on life right in the Downtown core. At some point in my life, I would like to live in Downtown Vancouver and spend a few years as an urbanite, making new friends, pursuing artistic endeavours, partying, and causing the friendly coffee baristas down the street to memorize my order off by heart. As well as possibly become a barista myself at some small-time quality coffee bar overlooking English Bay.
All in good time.
And one last point for the bright-side: working at McDonald's has also inspired me to go back to school earlier than I was expecting to. I am also returning to Powell River on January 26th. However, more detail on both of these upcoming events will come later in this post.
On the not-so-bright-side, it has been a stressful few months, and it seems as if said stress has taken its toll on my physical well-being coupled with other more environmentally motivated causes. My eczema has flared up again, but thankfully only severely on my right foot. However, an itchy/ painful flare-up on the bottom of said foot makes it hard to enjoy going on walks or standing for hours on end at whatever job I may be working at. It has also, I'm sure, contributed to (at least the sustainment of) my swollen lymph node and the ringing in my ears, as well as any coinciding anxiety. It's been just under 2 months, and my ears are still ringing. Not in any capacity that severely compromises my quality of life, but enough to be both disconcerting and annoying. The combination of a swollen lymph node, ringing in my ears, an eczema flare-up, and occasional anxiety has brought down my quality of life a notch collectively, but I have faith that, if no sooner, most of these symptoms (especially the eczema and lymph node) will subside as the spring and summer months draw closer. In fact... the lymph node has been dying down significantly in the past few days, so I wouldn't be surprised to see it gone by the end of the month.
Beyond my blabbering about my seemingly not-so-pristine health at the moment, I'll update you all on 2 large developments in my life that are now hurtling my way: my imminent return to Powell River, which includes a return to the airwaves with my radio show 'Intrigue' on 90.1 FM CJMP, and my attending post-secondary this September. Although it is most likely returning to school is what I'll be doing, I've made a back-up plan inside of my head: in the event that I don't get accepted to the school and/or program of my choice, or I do not get a student loan, whether simply not a sufficient amount or I am not eligible for one at all, I am going to work and save money for the next 6 months regardless with school being my target. But if said target cannot be hit, I will use the money instead to travel. Where? I have no idea as of yet, as that's plan B, and not plan A.
Another 2 options that are on the table couple both travel and school together; one is the novel idea of moving to India as an international student to attend the University of Delhi, which costs 5000 rupees in tuition fees. 5000 rupees, however, averages out to about $98 Canadian. Which is an absolutely insane bargain, especially considering the plane ride would cost an infinite amount more than that. Another idea sticks closer to home for the time being; and that's looking into a co-op exchange program of some sort where I attend a Semester or 2 in an available college or university via whatever college or university I will be attending. In some ways, the co-op is probably more favourable, as it isn't as long-term as committing myself to school in India would be. As well, the culture of the co-op country would probably be more familiar then that of India, so the culture shock factor would be less of an issue.
But India would be an interesting option.. and it's certainly not off the table.
Especially considering the money I'd save.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Years, Planet Earth!
Well, it is now officially 2012, according to the Gregorian calendar.
I returned from a generally good night of partying at around 10 AM this morning, only to fall asleep until 1 in the afternoon because of exhaustion due, in the most part, to sleeping on a hardwood floor in a friends bedroom with my hungover girlfriend and loud friends who didn't get to sleep until 4 or 5 in the morning, and who all decided to wake up en masse only a few hours later at around 8:30.
Either way, we rung in the New Years with an appropriate amount of beer, vodka, champagne, and wine, as well as loud music, explicitly dirty jokes, and "I love you's."
The ringing in my ears has yet to subside, however, and the alcohol as well as the music probably made it worse as it became loud to the point of my becoming miserable over it when I made an attempt at sleeping without the assistance of ambient music and sounds to properly lull me into the dream world. My lymph node, which is no longer swollen but is still aching and continues to be worrisome as well as uncomfortable, was also bothering me last night, and was also probably exasperated by alcohol.
I have a doctors appointment on the 3rd, however, so hopefully that gives me some proper answers as to what it is, and what I can do about it.
Coming home has been great, and seeing everyone I love has been ever greater. I am still considering what I mentioned in the previous post (such as potentially moving back), but I've decided to give the Lower Mainland at least a couple more months to prove itself a worthy home before I take such a large step (whether it's forward or backwards, I have yet to decide). I do hope my seemingly perpetually being ill subsides soon, and I can return to living life without any phantom sounds in my ears, and without the accompanying anxiety prolonged illness brings. However significant my problems may be to me, I doubt the world really enjoys when I grovel on about them, so I'll stop now before my mind decides to rant in order to calm itself.
According to 2 yearly astrology books I've flipped through in different book and superstores, 2012 is going to be a very good year for me, with only some minor issues along the way. In this case, let's hope astrology has some reasonable traction (not that 2011 was a bad year! Although it did have its moments, as every year inevitably does).
However, I've got some plans to make with some friends of mine, as well as some time to spend with my family, so peace out blue planet, and have a very happy New Year.
I returned from a generally good night of partying at around 10 AM this morning, only to fall asleep until 1 in the afternoon because of exhaustion due, in the most part, to sleeping on a hardwood floor in a friends bedroom with my hungover girlfriend and loud friends who didn't get to sleep until 4 or 5 in the morning, and who all decided to wake up en masse only a few hours later at around 8:30.
Either way, we rung in the New Years with an appropriate amount of beer, vodka, champagne, and wine, as well as loud music, explicitly dirty jokes, and "I love you's."
The ringing in my ears has yet to subside, however, and the alcohol as well as the music probably made it worse as it became loud to the point of my becoming miserable over it when I made an attempt at sleeping without the assistance of ambient music and sounds to properly lull me into the dream world. My lymph node, which is no longer swollen but is still aching and continues to be worrisome as well as uncomfortable, was also bothering me last night, and was also probably exasperated by alcohol.
I have a doctors appointment on the 3rd, however, so hopefully that gives me some proper answers as to what it is, and what I can do about it.
Coming home has been great, and seeing everyone I love has been ever greater. I am still considering what I mentioned in the previous post (such as potentially moving back), but I've decided to give the Lower Mainland at least a couple more months to prove itself a worthy home before I take such a large step (whether it's forward or backwards, I have yet to decide). I do hope my seemingly perpetually being ill subsides soon, and I can return to living life without any phantom sounds in my ears, and without the accompanying anxiety prolonged illness brings. However significant my problems may be to me, I doubt the world really enjoys when I grovel on about them, so I'll stop now before my mind decides to rant in order to calm itself.
According to 2 yearly astrology books I've flipped through in different book and superstores, 2012 is going to be a very good year for me, with only some minor issues along the way. In this case, let's hope astrology has some reasonable traction (not that 2011 was a bad year! Although it did have its moments, as every year inevitably does).
However, I've got some plans to make with some friends of mine, as well as some time to spend with my family, so peace out blue planet, and have a very happy New Year.
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