So, the last time I gave the world a 'quick update' was over 2 weeks ago from a friend of mines dorm at the University of Victoria. I have since returned home, and a lot has happened in all regards since.
As I was telling in my previous post, my ex and I parted ways. The night we did was quite an emotional festivity of tears, acceptance, mistakes, regrets, and tragedy, but for the sake of brevity... lets just say all of that has been rendered practically null and void.
The night after our emotional parting, she went to a party with a couple good friends of hers and fucked a random guy. I have since heard that they are now practically dating (without all of the 'official commitment' sides of the story).
I'm honestly not jealous or angry at all. I am annoyed at her rather pathetic and careless transience, and the fact that she said our romance was ending because she felt like she couldn't healthily function in a relationship at this point in her life, but her.. well, questionable actions.. have made it much easier to get over her as she has now revealed her true colors.
I probably should have seen such a transience coming, as prior to being with me, she had a thing with a good friend of mine, quickly moved on to a drunk encounter with another good friend, and then ended up with me. All within the same 2 month time-span.
Sure.. her and I dated for 6 months, and it was a fantastic relationship while it lasted. I really did love her a lot. But in light of everything that has happened in the last month, I really do think I've fallen entirely out of love with her as she did everything I assumed she would never ever do immediately following such a beautiful and close-knit romance.
I've described what happened to practically everyone I know without slandering her in any way, shape, or form, and all of them have been absolutely shocked and disgusted. My parents, having met her on a few occasions, couldn't believe she did something like that. My mom went so far as to call her some less-than appropriate words that probably aren't really good to share about an ex-lover over the internet. My brother and all of my best friends, just as shocked, said they really didn't expect her to do something of that nature and that she's lost a lot of their respect. I didn't even debate sharing this with the internet because in my mind, I'm not insulting her in the slightest.
I'm simply being honest.
This blog post isn't even me venting my frustrations, as my frustrations ran their course pretty quick as soon as I realized she wasn't worth the concern. And I really do wish her the best, and hope she is happy. Judging by the last time I heard about her, she seems to be doing well. I just hope it's all worth what has occurred, as she's really made a name for herself back here in my hometown.
I don't mind her being with someone else. I was just confused and annoyed about how absolutely sudden it all was, and how she lied in saying she felt like she couldn't function healthily in a relationship right now. To give her the benefit of the doubt, she really isn't in what one might consider a 'normal' mind-state as of late.
However.. that's the in-depth regarding my love life at the moment. And I will admit, I feel incredibly good about everything again. One thing I do need to credit her with is making getting over her a lot easier than I expected.
I've got a few girls flirting with me here and there, and I have made out with one girl since... but I don't really think I'm ready.. regardless of how over it all I am.. to jump back into any sort of relationship. Although I wouldn't be against a one-night stand if it honestly occurred.. I can't say seeking one out in any way, shape, or form in my small hometown is something I really want to do. I'll probably keep attempts at one-night stands to trips out of town.
Love can wait until whenever. I usually wait at least a month after any break-up before I decide to even think about dating again. As well, I enjoy being single just as much as I enjoy being in a relationship. So it really doesn't make that much of a difference. I'll most certainly love again.. and I'll most certainly find my soul-mate at some point in the future. There's absolutely no rush.
Other then all of that, I've been working on a lot of original hip-hop (as can be seen in previous posts from this month), and also looking for more substantial and enjoyable full-time work. Right now I am working at the local A&W fast-food restaurant, and I'm lucky if I get 4 days of 4 hour shifts a week. As long as I can find more work before April 20th when all of the college and university students return to town, I'm good.
Life without Facebook, although strange at times, is quite a nice change. I read a lot more, get out a lot more, write a lot more, and pursue more general creative endeavors than I would otherwise. However, I find that I'm on the computer just about as often as I was with Facebook.. but I now kill time on more meaningful internet escapades such as Tumblr and Stumbleupon, rather than simply whittling time away scrolling up and down my news-feed. I'm also getting back into my old habit of 'internet intellectual binges,' in which I research whatever I want for whatever reason for the simple love of learning. Lately, I've been doing in-depth research into psychedelic drugs and a form of adventurous exploration known as 'psychonautics.'
With all of my newly-found time in the absence of the Facebook void, I plan on also exploring my hometown with a depth I've never really indulged in before. That means numerous hikes into the backwoods, aimlessly wandering interesting-looking trails and roads both out north and out south, and.. when it gets warmer.. kayaking around different lakes and ocean areas, as well as visiting some of the Gulf Islands right outside my doorstep whose existences I have managed to take for granted during my life here in Powell River.
Like they say.. you've gotta know home before you know the world.
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