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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Nothing too exciting, just a simple update

Hello blogspot!
No need to apologize for a prolonged length of absence this time around, as only 2 or 3 days ago I posted my inflammatory opinionated expose on the current American elections titled The Selfish Pursuit of Power.

I've been getting much feedback from co-workers, friends, and family on the piece- all of which has been quite positive, encouraging me to carve out my niche in the used style of writing (bringing stream-of-consciousness prose to articles and works of a political nature). 

However; I really had to liberate the time and spur the inspiration from my busy work-week to write the article, despite it's short-length. 
On Thursday night, after getting off work at 4 PM, I headed straight to a local coffee shop and made sure to get consistent refills as I hashed out the piece on the new laptop I purchased last week. As soon as one coffee shop closed, I migrated to another, driving myself a bit too far with obscene caffeination (which I tend to do every now and then like a drug-junky may with other psychoactives). By the time I got home, I realized going to bed would be redundant as I would simply spend the whole night rolling back and forth becoming more and more frustrated as the hours ticked by, so I instead decided to stay up and read the news until the wee hours of the morning when, finally, I felt sufficiently exhausted enough to attempt slumber.

I ended up getting between 4 and 6 hours of sleep that night, but it was very much worth it; despite my zombie-like apathy which I attempted to stave off with more caffeination, only to crash even harder by the end of the day. Needless to say, I slept alright the next night. 

I've been working.. for the second time in my life.. what feels like a very 'status quo' job; Monday to Friday, 9 to 4. 
I'm working palliative care/ social work, and somehow.. despite the fact that I don't even have a license and have only been working with the company since the end of July.. I've ended up with said full-time position as a clients key worker; the client being a young man exactly my age (19) who is a recovering drug addict from the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver. He has some further issues; but none I'm going to discuss for the sake of privacy.

It's a well-paying job.. allowing me to buy the very computer I type to you from.. as well as save-up for a family jaunt to England in March and post-secondary next September.. and it really is the most fulfilling of all the jobs I've worked, but I find myself mentally exhausted by the end of each work-week, rarely wishing to do more than placate at home on a Friday night and just sleep, sleep, sleep to my hearts content. 

As well, due to the conventional hours, it's been hard to get together with a best friend of mine due to our conflicting work-schedules; so the only times I've really seen him have been on the odd occasion once every couple of weeks, or when I drop by his workplace to say hi, whereas prior we were hanging out upwards of every second day, if not more.

I doubt we'll lose each other, but it does feel like a massive injustice to have the monetary oppression keep us apart.

The radio show also ran into disarray about 2 or 3 weeks back due to my stupidity and being absolutely wasted on-air, on the first night we were working with the stations new soundboard. It led to the show going 'on probation,' and a mutual decision between the 3 of us to simply take a 3-week break and hash out a brand new idea for the shows general and specific premise.. which we have yet to do, and our 3 week timeframe is coming to an imminent close. 
However; it was nice that such a catastrophe just so happened to be a brighter opportunity in disguise. 

Powell River still has a different hue than it used to between this new and rather intense nature of work I'm in, as well as 95% of my old high-school friends disappearing from the face of my world to explore other parts of theirs. I miss all of them in some way, shape, or form and feel a consequent melancholy from time to time as a result.. but what really stirs a passion and melancholy in me is the thought that, not only was I supposed to be going with them.. I really, really wish I had. However, for the first time in my life, practicality trumped confused passion and I decided to stay back for the jobs experience and saving potential. 

I am absolutely committed to leaving come next September, though. 

Anyways, that's what I've been up to as of late. 
I love you blue planet, have a great week! 

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.