Where does this painful loneliness come from?
There are people around me.

Interpretive.

I feel like I'm floating through a void
between one life and another
my old
and my new
this is somewhere in between
somewhere holy but between
somewhere melancholy only insofar as I stab myself in the gut with lost expectation

between post-graduate flip flop
and the white-knuckle college grind

working a job I love, but feel to young for
like I need to be a wandering Bodhisattva or, perhaps

nothing at all.

this town is now painfully familiar
houses of old friends
oldest friends
empty now

they've moved on and up
I've moved up
not on.

Fuck I miss something
me, you, old, new.

there is beauty, yes
but the pressure in my skull
is a part of the circle which strangulates my lovely bloodflow

is it ego that is killing me?

I seek attention
validation

I really truly do
no lies need be uttered on the matter any longer because who doesn't seek love?
those who have the love to function act callous of it, rarely aware of its precious dose
lucky them.

I have that love too
no fans anymore
at least
it doesnt feel like it

but I have love

Friends
family
co-workers
and a future full of "HAHAHA's" and "I really, truly do love you's."

this is just another void

and fuck these voids

there have been too many in my life
too early.

probably my fault
aw well.

no use crying over spilled milk
just grab a wet cloth
wipe it up
and buy a new jug.

so what if I'm short a few dollars.