There is such thing as an overarching beauty to all of this.

I'm not quite sure what to write about.

I've had a million ideas on what to write about in the past few days, and I could narrow it down to 2 or 3, and publish them each as separate articles... but I think I'll indulge, this time around, in what I like to call a 'scatter-brain' article, despite the fact that I'm not suffering from any serious case of scatter-brain myself.

So, hmm... where to start?

Well, for one, aside from the second part of my Literature exam and my History exam sometime this week, I have officially graduated from high-school.
Am I scared?

Much less so than I expected to be, and considerably less than I was about a week ago, despite nothing really progressing in any promising direction.
So far, I'm absolutely broke, and have been spending the last 5 months looking for a job with no success.
I'm not that worried about it... I will most definitely find a job soon enough, especially considering I have no school to work around.
I will miss school though... seeing all of my friends each day, giving my learned two-cents regarding some ideology or historical occurrence in History class, and lazing around in Literature trying to catch the girl I (until recently) thought to like me peaking at me from across the room.

And she did peak at me, regardless of how that ended. I'm just happy we're still good friends.

I also discovered the most incredible band yesterday morning... never before have I been so taken by a bands first-impression on me. Although a lot of their stuff can be quite melancholy, it's melancholy in the most beautiful way possible.
Not only is their music capable of being romantic... it's capable of including romance, philosophy, existentialism, history, and mystery into a single song at a time, whilst retaining this absolutely hypnotic sound that keeps you hooked. If you'd like to see what I think of as one of the best examples of their absolute genius and beauty... check out the current 'Song of the Week' at the top of the page.

Lately, I've been feeling what I've gauged to be some sort of 'necessary' aloneness.
I know it's temporary, and part of it is created by the wide array of philosophies I have been introducing myself too.
I've discovered many philosophies are quite ungrateful of what everything actually is... philosophies that see the body as a cage and things like that. Although it's interesting food for thought... isn't it incredible enough that we, as human beings, came upon our current consciousness due to pure happenstance? And why is it that there's such a pressure from society to take such cynical and sarcastic approaches to life?
I find the pressure of society as a whole always trying to inform me of what I'm missing, as opposed to appreciating where I am and what I've got.

But fuck society.
Society is a silly goose-egg, to be goofy and frank.
Those bullshit Vancouver riots over the Canucks losing the Stanley Cup...
How absolutely self-absorbed and petty can you get? Fuck... I wish I had been there to trip an anarchist or something, or break some wild sports-fans nose before he could push a Boston Bruins fan off a freeway to his death.
Nobody deserves to die over a worthless hockey game.

Part of me is craving a romantic encounter, preferably long-term... but either a single passionate night, or a long-term commitment. I don't really feel like indulging in anything in-between.
But at the same time, I'm going to hold myself back. If a chance honestly presents itself... perhaps I will take it. But just after graduation is certainly not a time I would like to be committed.
I wouldn't mind some freedom and leeway from serious commitment for awhile, but at the same time... something of a romantic nature would be nice.

I haven't kissed a girl in quite awhile. I've had a few chances to do so... but I just haven't, in an attempt to test my self-control.
Now that I am aware that I have pristine control over my own actions, I'm going to take control and take the dive next chance I get. I mean, why not? As far as I'm aware, I'll only live once. So every time is the right time to live it up.

Anyways, I'm going to shower, brush my teeth, and play some Modern Warfare 2 as I contemplate what to do with the rest of my day...
Have a great evening, blue planet.