and water once said to the wall
"Man is a crushed being. Floats like logs on an empty river in a wild with no predators,
because, Man knows, a predatory wild is immoral."
no regrets.

and water once said to the wall
"Can I speak? And if I speak why do I speak this particular language? Beyond my reflective frailties and your broken back, there really isn't much to be said for the anglo-saxon remembrance of loss, now, is there?"

and the sleep in the corner of her bedroom was like a feminist strike for equal wages
there was a resentful bitterness to the way she spat her measured love.

often, she would say nothing as a means to everything,
and everything as a means to nothing,
but either way the only one listening was every one of us, so we couldn't really hear a word she was saying.

some mornings, I awoke to the curious wondering of subject versus object, and sad endings versus no endings, and you know what?
not once did an answer appear and if it did, no way was there a syllable empty enough to describe our lack of a point
so I stopped calling I, I
and started calling I, we
so we slept until 1 in the afternoon with the only shame being that of novelized continuity with its great big book on the cons of finitism we tried to return for store credit only to realize it wasn't Chapters selling, nor the writ of the holy ghost, but instead that particular angle of our face that can only be witnessed if one mirror is placed in front of another with a third to the left

and suddenly, 'I' made more sense,
what a shame?

and water once said to the wall
"all things are all things," and the wall listlessly agreed to nothing.

so we walked to the water and agreed on behalf of the wall
and the water swooshed kindly as we lay out a towel
sleep on the beach.

and the sleep in the corner of her bedroom was like a feminist strike for equal wages
there was a resentful bitterness to the way she spat her measured love
so my nervous flinch began to wonder why the real world teases with stillness, distant mountains, open roads, warm kisses, sunrises, and cold rain
when I still have to get up for work in the morning.

Low Light, Low Life

Hello blue planet!

Okay, this time around, it has been a significant lull of time between this post and my last.. I haven't even gone so far as to update my 'weekly song pick' in about a month.

However.. this isn't without reason or downside.. I've been working pretty diligently on a big project exclusively for my blog. I won't give much away.. but I will tell you all it's a short-story that, at this rate, isn't going to end-up being very short.

I was hoping to have it done by last Sunday evening, but I ended up lacking much motivation and instead opted to sleep, eat, and read for the 2 precious days off.
I was also hoping to have worked on it during the 3 split-shifts I did this past week, but I ended up spending all three days Christmas shopping and running errands (like picking out a sweater that would actually keep me dry and warm in the chill of a Pacific Northwest winter). I apologize for my lack of dedication to the work as of late.. but it will be done and up for viewing by mid-January absolute latest.

Promise.

It isn't really the season to be all that 'jolly,' I suppose.
I have been quite satisfied with my material bounty given of the kind hearts of others this holiday season.. but other than that, a majority of my life has been a little down for the past week or so.

Between working at the hospital psych ward with my client (no further details will be disclosed for confidentiality reasons), the lack of light, the abundance of muggy rain-soaked days, and my overall exhaustion and lack of energy from all of the above causing me to avert most chances at socializing (save for the first time in awhile last night with a friend who is visiting for the holidays after having moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for college), it's been a very lonely holiday season for me.

Not physically.. physically speaking, I've had plenty of people around me. My mom, my brother, my dad, coworkers, the occasional friend, and virtual connection via Skype.. but spiritually, I've felt pretty solitary and drained.

A very large part of me is in a passionate mood for romance right now, which my circumstances can't seem to satisfy, at least for the time being.. and I've had few people with whom I'm able to share all of my feelings, both positive and negative, since 95% of my friends moved away in September.

And I feel like I'm extroverted enough that a healthy social life with some real depth is a very big 'must' for me.. hence why I thrived so brilliantly throughout high-school, and have been quite up and down since.

I apologize to everyone who reads my blog about how down I have seemed in the past few months; it's been a hard year so far, and I only expect it to slowly let-up it's pressure over the course of the next 8 months until I'm finally on my way to Victoria (and this time for real; I've been officially accepted to Camosun College for the Arts and Science program starting September 2013).

I'm also very much looking forward to my European adventure in March; the itineraries are almost complete, and I've got $2000 in the bank as of last pay-check with another $1,500 for the trip alone still to be stashed away over the course of the next 3 pay-cycles.

So, to wrap up.. my life is looking very very bright and promising over the next couple of years, and will be getting brighter with the start of classes at the local Vancouver Island University in just under 2 weeks, as well as the lengthening of the days until the arrival of summer and my epic jaunt to what I consider to be the 'far-east' considering where I'm geographically situated.. but it has been hard over the past 4 months, and that's alright, because that's just the way that life is sometimes and we all have to accept that and also remember that it really does get better.

Keep your eyes on 'It's A Friendly Inferno!' for my upcoming long-short story.. as well as updates as to how things are going.
Sooner or later, my blog ends up housing the most intimate details of my life.. so if you're into that kinda shit..

read my blog.

Peace out, blue planet!