Tuesday, October 30, 2012
"Poll finds fresh increase in US racism," Romney still leads in the polls; America fancy's itself the king but has only snatched control because of a deep backwardness, ignorance, and general insecurity (possessed by all nations who feel they need to subjugate and create great empires of inner and outer despair)
Many empires of old have held greater virtue than the modern American strain.
It's beyond a matter of happy, sad, right and wrong now. It is a case of hopeless ignorance beyond what was previously believed possible for any nation, save for those who are openly perceived as backwards and as such stigmatized on the great stage of world affairs.
I ache with an inner pain for the world as a result of such a dismal 'reality;' one which I know truly and stubbornly permeates the worldviews of many who hold high office within the most powerful empire on Earth.
How the fuck
is all I can really say.
The United States of America is part of the real third world.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Two Gods in Bed
the music climbs like a mystic rummaging layer by layer upon steps of wood leading to the mundane middle of a bedroom
'meditation leads to sleep, we are in the perfect place!' he smiles
Christ, you're like Christ
I think.
all of a sudden he is lying on my bed, sleeping, arms outstretched,
and I climb into my side of the bed, he pulls closer
wraps his arms around me and says
"Christ, you're like Christ,"
I turn to him slowly and smile
all of the sudden God falls asleep.
'meditation leads to sleep, we are in the perfect place!' he smiles
Christ, you're like Christ
I think.
all of a sudden he is lying on my bed, sleeping, arms outstretched,
and I climb into my side of the bed, he pulls closer
wraps his arms around me and says
"Christ, you're like Christ,"
I turn to him slowly and smile
all of the sudden God falls asleep.
The Wind
did the wind ever catch you sleeping?
alone like a cordless phone off the hook, where's the charge
beyond the imaginings of the long-haired girl standing in the open rain wondering, wondering, wondering
what?
wondering if it was true
if it was true that the cold of a cozy bed in the middle of a warm December night was anymore than a dream
or if the person she spoke to was a figment of her imagination
because human is a hoax, each from the same source like every fallen leaf floats from the same tree
so would that not mean that the entire universe is just
one
great
big
schizophrenia?
or, is it the happy clutches of a child in want of your embrace that reminds you of the sad clutches of a child in want of your embrace?
because the sun doesn't go down, it goes around
and the moon isn't half, nor the stars just a spec
nor a grain of sand just a grain of sand because a cosmos is a cosmos no matter how large
small
or mildly tasted like a long-shot espresso will never taste a tongue
can the words ever really tell you much more than the words?
if a cosmos is a cosmos, the words will tell you the cosmos
the cosmos, the very essence of the sweet silk and the clammy touch of a lover after a rainy winter walk
the warming of the lips upon lips
or the clamp of the seven AM alarm
a great big 'fuck you' to many, a reminder to 'wake up and love' for the lucky
and the wind; the dastardly, beautiful, realist wind!
where was I when you always arrive?
so I'm asking you
look inside of yourself and think:
did the wind ever catch you sleeping?
Nothing too exciting, just a simple update
Hello blogspot!
No need to apologize for a prolonged length of absence this time around, as only 2 or 3 days ago I posted my inflammatory opinionated expose on the current American elections titled The Selfish Pursuit of Power.
I've been getting much feedback from co-workers, friends, and family on the piece- all of which has been quite positive, encouraging me to carve out my niche in the used style of writing (bringing stream-of-consciousness prose to articles and works of a political nature).
However; I really had to liberate the time and spur the inspiration from my busy work-week to write the article, despite it's short-length.
On Thursday night, after getting off work at 4 PM, I headed straight to a local coffee shop and made sure to get consistent refills as I hashed out the piece on the new laptop I purchased last week. As soon as one coffee shop closed, I migrated to another, driving myself a bit too far with obscene caffeination (which I tend to do every now and then like a drug-junky may with other psychoactives). By the time I got home, I realized going to bed would be redundant as I would simply spend the whole night rolling back and forth becoming more and more frustrated as the hours ticked by, so I instead decided to stay up and read the news until the wee hours of the morning when, finally, I felt sufficiently exhausted enough to attempt slumber.
I ended up getting between 4 and 6 hours of sleep that night, but it was very much worth it; despite my zombie-like apathy which I attempted to stave off with more caffeination, only to crash even harder by the end of the day. Needless to say, I slept alright the next night.
I've been working.. for the second time in my life.. what feels like a very 'status quo' job; Monday to Friday, 9 to 4.
I'm working palliative care/ social work, and somehow.. despite the fact that I don't even have a license and have only been working with the company since the end of July.. I've ended up with said full-time position as a clients key worker; the client being a young man exactly my age (19) who is a recovering drug addict from the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver. He has some further issues; but none I'm going to discuss for the sake of privacy.
It's a well-paying job.. allowing me to buy the very computer I type to you from.. as well as save-up for a family jaunt to England in March and post-secondary next September.. and it really is the most fulfilling of all the jobs I've worked, but I find myself mentally exhausted by the end of each work-week, rarely wishing to do more than placate at home on a Friday night and just sleep, sleep, sleep to my hearts content.
As well, due to the conventional hours, it's been hard to get together with a best friend of mine due to our conflicting work-schedules; so the only times I've really seen him have been on the odd occasion once every couple of weeks, or when I drop by his workplace to say hi, whereas prior we were hanging out upwards of every second day, if not more.
I doubt we'll lose each other, but it does feel like a massive injustice to have the monetary oppression keep us apart.
The radio show also ran into disarray about 2 or 3 weeks back due to my stupidity and being absolutely wasted on-air, on the first night we were working with the stations new soundboard. It led to the show going 'on probation,' and a mutual decision between the 3 of us to simply take a 3-week break and hash out a brand new idea for the shows general and specific premise.. which we have yet to do, and our 3 week timeframe is coming to an imminent close.
However; it was nice that such a catastrophe just so happened to be a brighter opportunity in disguise.
Powell River still has a different hue than it used to between this new and rather intense nature of work I'm in, as well as 95% of my old high-school friends disappearing from the face of my world to explore other parts of theirs. I miss all of them in some way, shape, or form and feel a consequent melancholy from time to time as a result.. but what really stirs a passion and melancholy in me is the thought that, not only was I supposed to be going with them.. I really, really wish I had. However, for the first time in my life, practicality trumped confused passion and I decided to stay back for the jobs experience and saving potential.
I am absolutely committed to leaving come next September, though.
Anyways, that's what I've been up to as of late.
I love you blue planet, have a great week!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The Selfish Pursuit of Power
exists within the ambition and passionate pursuit of political change.
If you've got power, it's likely you wanted that power, and as such, took it.
The spectacle of swallowing fire on a busy intersection to distract the crowd of spectators from having to witness the frozen evening sweat on the beard of a Midwestern hobo that is the current American election has a large chunk of the worlds population- including myself- on its toes, waiting for the naive doctors diagnoses- is the cancer of Republican market economics terminal? Or can the equally lethal but well-intentioned chemo therapy of Barack Obama really kill enough cells to probabilistically give America (and, consequently, the world) a chance to survive?
It's likely that, should Mitt Romney gain office, the cancer will be left unchecked to fester in itself and spread to other parts of the global body even more so than it already has. However, it would be ridiculous to assume that another 4-years of medical blunders in an attempt to bring the sickness under control would do much for the American body part, which fancy's itself the brain of the world, but is more likely the hungry stomach of a nihilist surrendered to the post-modern world- "fuck off, I'll eat these shitty chips and smoke this cigarette if I want to. It's not like it matters; we all end up stiff and hard in the cold, careless soil anyways."
All the individuals and activists of genuine sympathy and hope turned away from America in disgust and disgruntled submission years ago.
"He's just a fucking asshole, and until he figures that out, there's nothing anyone else can do for him."
The Presidential debates, although interesting in a context synonymous to the thrills one shakes from sports, are dangerous ramblings in themselves as each contestant simply spits their rhetoric on the dying middle-class, completely ignores the lower, and neglects to mention what's really important* in preference to telling the junkies that their next high is safe and sound, despite the fact that it's the addictive substances that caused the cancer in the first place: coal, oil, gas, and money. You won't cure a hangover by drinking more alcohol. You'll just keep waking up with a headache wondering what the fuck happened last night.
It seems the nicotine patch of ethanol is really doing little to control the craving.
Many of the problems of America- and yes, hence, the world- seem self-manufactured for the sake of maintaining the problem and sustaining the melodrama. In the case of competence, the conspiracy theorists may be right about the whole Illuminati-Rothschild banker stuff; although things are rarely what they seem on either extreme of the spectrum. It's only by looking between both sides of the story that the truth can even begin to show its faded silhouette through the fog machine you refuse to get off your couch to turn off.
In the case of incompetence, the self-manufactured melodrama may simply be the psychosis of a dying narcissist unwilling to accept his mortality.
However, in the case of the looming election, Noam Chomsky may be right: "The Republican organization today is extremely dangerous, not just to this country, but to the world. It’s worth expending some effort to prevent their rise to power, without sowing illusions about the Democratic alternatives."
But in the case of America, as was stated before, "He's just a fucking asshole, and until he figures that out, there's nothing anyone else can do for him."
*climate change, Occupy Wall Street, common sense in the fact that devices used to brutally maim and murder should not be in the hands of citizens, let alone ones trained and paid for by the state itself to march into someone else's house and rob them blind right after a session of brutal rape and murder of men, women, and children; and in fact, if a semblance of sanity existed within America (which seems unlikely now, as the tumor has done so much damage to the brain that the country's mental faculties have been irreversibly destroyed to the point of schizophrenia**) everyone would have just laughed at their silly fellow citizens attempts to dress-up and pretend they're somehow the king of the castle.
**SYMPTOMS AND SIGNS OF SCHIZOPHRENIA:
-Hallucinations ("Barack Obama is a true change for America," "If Mitt Romney gains office, he's going to make everything better," "I visited outer space the other day. What the fuck are they talking about, borders don't exist? I saw the borders true and clear. America shone like Jesus ascending to heaven!")
-Hearing voices ("In God we trust," "don't worry, you're doing the right thing stepping into this countries affairs and murdering thousands," "Jesus spoke to me the other day," "We are a nation of God!")
-Delusions, often bizarre ("I truly believe in the book of Mormon," "America is the greatest country on Earth because God is on our side," "This is an American century!") or persecutory in nature ("Islam and the Arab world are really out to get us," "Russia is out to get us," "Every attack on America is a terrorist attack," "Israel is our best friend because they know what it's like to be bullied by their parents and thus take out their anger and fear on the poor helpless kid across the street to the point that he practically gives up on life and commits suicide alone in his bedroom after everybody decided to do no more than politely tell the bully to stop being disrespectful. We get you, Israel, Britain was a dick to us too, giving us all that land she took from the neighbors , free food, free tea, free housing.. as soon as we turned 19, Britain said, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to start paying room and board," and we were all like, "oh, fuck you bitch," so we yelled at her, kicked her in the face and out of the house, and didn't return her calls for 150 years.")
-Disorganized thinking and speech ("When America votes, America always votes for peace. That's why they're going to vote for me, Mitt Romney. Over the course of my term in office, I'm going to add $461 billion to the military's budget so they can afford more weapons and machines of murder. So remember, America: a vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for peace," "On my first month in office I, Barack Obama, will shut down Guantanamo Bay," "Mr. Obama, we just need you to sign here to officially enact the NDAA.")
-There is often an observable pattern of emotional difficulty, such as a lack of responsiveness ("Neither candidate has mentioned 'Occupy' even once. Are they avoiding the question? Or is the entire political structure of this country just mentally retarded?" "We all need to band together and do something about climate change. Is everyone in?.. America? Hello? Hey.. America? I'm talking to you, you do know it's common social convention to give at least some sort of response.")
-Outbursts of seemingly irrational violence, both verbal and physical in nature (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya... the list goes on and on and on, worthy of a post in itself)
If you've got power, it's likely you wanted that power, and as such, took it.
The spectacle of swallowing fire on a busy intersection to distract the crowd of spectators from having to witness the frozen evening sweat on the beard of a Midwestern hobo that is the current American election has a large chunk of the worlds population- including myself- on its toes, waiting for the naive doctors diagnoses- is the cancer of Republican market economics terminal? Or can the equally lethal but well-intentioned chemo therapy of Barack Obama really kill enough cells to probabilistically give America (and, consequently, the world) a chance to survive?
It's likely that, should Mitt Romney gain office, the cancer will be left unchecked to fester in itself and spread to other parts of the global body even more so than it already has. However, it would be ridiculous to assume that another 4-years of medical blunders in an attempt to bring the sickness under control would do much for the American body part, which fancy's itself the brain of the world, but is more likely the hungry stomach of a nihilist surrendered to the post-modern world- "fuck off, I'll eat these shitty chips and smoke this cigarette if I want to. It's not like it matters; we all end up stiff and hard in the cold, careless soil anyways."
All the individuals and activists of genuine sympathy and hope turned away from America in disgust and disgruntled submission years ago.
"He's just a fucking asshole, and until he figures that out, there's nothing anyone else can do for him."
The Presidential debates, although interesting in a context synonymous to the thrills one shakes from sports, are dangerous ramblings in themselves as each contestant simply spits their rhetoric on the dying middle-class, completely ignores the lower, and neglects to mention what's really important* in preference to telling the junkies that their next high is safe and sound, despite the fact that it's the addictive substances that caused the cancer in the first place: coal, oil, gas, and money. You won't cure a hangover by drinking more alcohol. You'll just keep waking up with a headache wondering what the fuck happened last night.
It seems the nicotine patch of ethanol is really doing little to control the craving.
Many of the problems of America- and yes, hence, the world- seem self-manufactured for the sake of maintaining the problem and sustaining the melodrama. In the case of competence, the conspiracy theorists may be right about the whole Illuminati-Rothschild banker stuff; although things are rarely what they seem on either extreme of the spectrum. It's only by looking between both sides of the story that the truth can even begin to show its faded silhouette through the fog machine you refuse to get off your couch to turn off.
In the case of incompetence, the self-manufactured melodrama may simply be the psychosis of a dying narcissist unwilling to accept his mortality.
However, in the case of the looming election, Noam Chomsky may be right: "The Republican organization today is extremely dangerous, not just to this country, but to the world. It’s worth expending some effort to prevent their rise to power, without sowing illusions about the Democratic alternatives."
But in the case of America, as was stated before, "He's just a fucking asshole, and until he figures that out, there's nothing anyone else can do for him."
*climate change, Occupy Wall Street, common sense in the fact that devices used to brutally maim and murder should not be in the hands of citizens, let alone ones trained and paid for by the state itself to march into someone else's house and rob them blind right after a session of brutal rape and murder of men, women, and children; and in fact, if a semblance of sanity existed within America (which seems unlikely now, as the tumor has done so much damage to the brain that the country's mental faculties have been irreversibly destroyed to the point of schizophrenia**) everyone would have just laughed at their silly fellow citizens attempts to dress-up and pretend they're somehow the king of the castle.
**SYMPTOMS AND SIGNS OF SCHIZOPHRENIA:
-Hallucinations ("Barack Obama is a true change for America," "If Mitt Romney gains office, he's going to make everything better," "I visited outer space the other day. What the fuck are they talking about, borders don't exist? I saw the borders true and clear. America shone like Jesus ascending to heaven!")
-Hearing voices ("In God we trust," "don't worry, you're doing the right thing stepping into this countries affairs and murdering thousands," "Jesus spoke to me the other day," "We are a nation of God!")
-Delusions, often bizarre ("I truly believe in the book of Mormon," "America is the greatest country on Earth because God is on our side," "This is an American century!") or persecutory in nature ("Islam and the Arab world are really out to get us," "Russia is out to get us," "Every attack on America is a terrorist attack," "Israel is our best friend because they know what it's like to be bullied by their parents and thus take out their anger and fear on the poor helpless kid across the street to the point that he practically gives up on life and commits suicide alone in his bedroom after everybody decided to do no more than politely tell the bully to stop being disrespectful. We get you, Israel, Britain was a dick to us too, giving us all that land she took from the neighbors , free food, free tea, free housing.. as soon as we turned 19, Britain said, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to start paying room and board," and we were all like, "oh, fuck you bitch," so we yelled at her, kicked her in the face and out of the house, and didn't return her calls for 150 years.")
-Disorganized thinking and speech ("When America votes, America always votes for peace. That's why they're going to vote for me, Mitt Romney. Over the course of my term in office, I'm going to add $461 billion to the military's budget so they can afford more weapons and machines of murder. So remember, America: a vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for peace," "On my first month in office I, Barack Obama, will shut down Guantanamo Bay," "Mr. Obama, we just need you to sign here to officially enact the NDAA.")
-There is often an observable pattern of emotional difficulty, such as a lack of responsiveness ("Neither candidate has mentioned 'Occupy' even once. Are they avoiding the question? Or is the entire political structure of this country just mentally retarded?" "We all need to band together and do something about climate change. Is everyone in?.. America? Hello? Hey.. America? I'm talking to you, you do know it's common social convention to give at least some sort of response.")
-Outbursts of seemingly irrational violence, both verbal and physical in nature (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya... the list goes on and on and on, worthy of a post in itself)
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Everybody just bustles around in their own little private bubble of a world, believing that, because they're living and acting what they feel that others are not and cannot, there must be an undeniable, objective separation between all lives.. but if you watch a man climb aboard a bus.. a holy organic creature of this grand all and nothing.. his eyes darting to each passenger lain out in front of him like an alien chess game outside of his perceived standpoint of a separated bubble existence.. you think him naive and strange for subconsciously seeming to neglect the unity of each and every action; his, human, bird, dust, atom, or otherwise.
You were not born alone; ask your mother.
You will not die alone; ask the everything and everyone you are.
Any feeling to the contrary is a strange and naive illusion.
Unity is all there ever can be.
You were not born alone; ask your mother.
You will not die alone; ask the everything and everyone you are.
Any feeling to the contrary is a strange and naive illusion.
Unity is all there ever can be.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Where does this painful loneliness come from?
There are people around me.
Interpretive.
I feel like I'm floating through a void
between one life and another
my old
and my new
this is somewhere in between
somewhere holy but between
somewhere melancholy only insofar as I stab myself in the gut with lost expectation
between post-graduate flip flop
and the white-knuckle college grind
working a job I love, but feel to young for
like I need to be a wandering Bodhisattva or, perhaps
nothing at all.
this town is now painfully familiar
houses of old friends
oldest friends
empty now
they've moved on and up
I've moved up
not on.
Fuck I miss something
me, you, old, new.
there is beauty, yes
but the pressure in my skull
is a part of the circle which strangulates my lovely bloodflow
is it ego that is killing me?
I seek attention
validation
I really truly do
no lies need be uttered on the matter any longer because who doesn't seek love?
those who have the love to function act callous of it, rarely aware of its precious dose
lucky them.
I have that love too
no fans anymore
at least
it doesnt feel like it
but I have love
Friends
family
co-workers
and a future full of "HAHAHA's" and "I really, truly do love you's."
this is just another void
and fuck these voids
there have been too many in my life
too early.
probably my fault
aw well.
no use crying over spilled milk
just grab a wet cloth
wipe it up
and buy a new jug.
so what if I'm short a few dollars.
There are people around me.
Interpretive.
I feel like I'm floating through a void
between one life and another
my old
and my new
this is somewhere in between
somewhere holy but between
somewhere melancholy only insofar as I stab myself in the gut with lost expectation
between post-graduate flip flop
and the white-knuckle college grind
working a job I love, but feel to young for
like I need to be a wandering Bodhisattva or, perhaps
nothing at all.
this town is now painfully familiar
houses of old friends
oldest friends
empty now
they've moved on and up
I've moved up
not on.
Fuck I miss something
me, you, old, new.
there is beauty, yes
but the pressure in my skull
is a part of the circle which strangulates my lovely bloodflow
is it ego that is killing me?
I seek attention
validation
I really truly do
no lies need be uttered on the matter any longer because who doesn't seek love?
those who have the love to function act callous of it, rarely aware of its precious dose
lucky them.
I have that love too
no fans anymore
at least
it doesnt feel like it
but I have love
Friends
family
co-workers
and a future full of "HAHAHA's" and "I really, truly do love you's."
this is just another void
and fuck these voids
there have been too many in my life
too early.
probably my fault
aw well.
no use crying over spilled milk
just grab a wet cloth
wipe it up
and buy a new jug.
so what if I'm short a few dollars.
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