This quote, as I see it, is spot-on correct; you are whatever you make yourself to be. If you make yourself depressing, suicidal, unsympathetic, unwanted? That’s exactly what you’re going to become. If you make yourself happy, content, curious, loving, fascinated, hungry for information, hungry to see and experience? Again, that’s exactly what you’ll become, and chances are you’ll be proud of who you are in that case.
Thing is, the events that occur in your life don't make you who you are, but they do contribute to molding different paths for you to choose; if you experience a traumatizing event, if you really want to get over it, if you truly believe that you can move on, then you’ll move on no matter what it was that occurred. Sometimes it’s harder then other times, but it’s still generally the same if you try hard enough. You just have to believe, as cliché as that sounds.
One thing you’ve got to make sure of is to protect yourself from influences that could change you in a way that’s not exactly what you want; it may sound picky to some, but you have a right to become exactly who you want no matter your circumstance, and you have the ability to do so as well. You want to become rich? If you try and work hard enough, you’ll become rich. If you drop something before you get what you want, then of course you aren’t going to get it. No one ever got anything done by sitting around and praying for it to happen.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Subconscious Human Connection
I find it incredible and mind-boggling to think that every human on this planet has a subconscious telepathic connection to one another, but believe that it's more than just slightly possible.
The idea that every child is born with billions of years of memories from people of generations past is incredible, and again, quite believable if you think about it on every level. The problem is, if we ARE born with these memories, they must be incredibly hard to access, but once you do tap into them it must be an incredible experience; I mean, imagine remembering the time Private Bradley Smith shot his first German soldier during the First World War through his eyes, and the moment Nelson Mandela was arrested from his first person perspective, or from that of his captors. Imagine remembering the feeling Alexander the Great had following his conquest of Egypt, and remembering cutting down your first Gallic soldier 250 years before Christ's birth. Imagine remembering the first time your own child saw a big city through their eyes.
It's incredible to just attempt to comprehend, and would be even more incredible to experience.
Also, the idea that if we could tap into the right brainwaves we would be able to communicate with elephants or cats or dogs, or just animals in general is another incredible thought, and again, if it's real, I'd certainly like to explore the concept further.
Sometimes I do feel cynical and depressed, and who knows? Maybe it's brought on (or at least agitated further) by the people around me when they feel upset or cynical for some reason.
One example would have to be when I had dreams of seeing the world, but improvising my way around it completely from the top of my head, and when my mom asked how I would make it to Europe without alot of money I replied by saying I would smuggle myself onto a boat, or find a job somewhere in the area and attempt to make enough money to pay for a plane ride to Heathrow or somewhere of that nature. My mother then went on to ask where I would stay for that time, and I said I would stay with someone I make friends with, or in a hotel.
She laughed at me and told me that life was a bit more complicated then that, and that I would need alot of money and planning before I could attempt to do something of that nature.
That's her opinion, but I'm sure my way is more than simply possible, yet I still felt discouraged.
After awhile, I began to overhear my mom complaining about how life was going terrible for her, and how God (yes, she believes in God, but that's her choice) wasn't doing enough to help her situation and how she deserved more at that point.
What I was thinking was either her God is nonexistent or completely unreliable, and that she shouldn't be looking to a God to help her enjoy her life more, she should be looking to herself and should stop thinking things are to hard or impossible to pull of, because if she continued down that road not only would she cause her situation to get worse, the subconscious human connection would cause it to rub off on me and others around her.
I mean, honestly, I don't have alot to be excited or enthralled about right now in my life, but I do try to make the best of what excitements I do obtain, and the fact that eventually I'll be free to go where I went, when I want, and how I want without the restriction of school or parents.
Honestly? I don't really want to wait another 2 years before I'm able to do those things. Maybe I'm impatient, or maybe I'm just restless, I don't know. All I know is that right now all I want from life is real and true freedom from all the things I've tied myself to, because if you actually think about it I could be anywhere I want doing what I want in any way I want if I truly wanted to, but I've decided to follow the rule of society and finish school before I start truly living.
I try my best to get a good taste of truly living every chance I get by spending time with friends, and travelling (never very far; the farthest I've been is Seattle to the south, and upper Vancouver Island to the North. I've never been East).
One travelling opportunity I can't wait for is going to visit the United Kingdom is the summer of 2010 for a couple of months. I honestly can't wait to see the bright, historical lights and streets of London, and the beautiful rolling countryside of Kent and Dover.
Again, that's another 'probably someday' situation, because I know as well as anyone else that things can change, and we might end up not going at all for some reason or another, despite the fact that we could just do it anyways if we wished.
Oh well, I suppose it gives me something to look forward to until it actually happens, or gives me something to look forward to until the date is changed or it's cancelled all together for some reason.
See? Another generally negative comment. I have to actually believe I'm going to the United Kingdom is I wish to go, or else it won't occur, or will turn out to be nothing as to what I expected it. So I guess I'm going to the U.K., no question about it.
Not only that, I'm going to step foot in every single country in the world before I die. I promise myself that right now. I will live my life to the best of my ability. No cynical boredom while sitting in my bachelor apartment at the age of 33 and completely single. I'm also going to get married and have children. I promise that to myself as well. Of course, I'm going to do that a bit later in my life, maybe in my 30's.
The idea that every child is born with billions of years of memories from people of generations past is incredible, and again, quite believable if you think about it on every level. The problem is, if we ARE born with these memories, they must be incredibly hard to access, but once you do tap into them it must be an incredible experience; I mean, imagine remembering the time Private Bradley Smith shot his first German soldier during the First World War through his eyes, and the moment Nelson Mandela was arrested from his first person perspective, or from that of his captors. Imagine remembering the feeling Alexander the Great had following his conquest of Egypt, and remembering cutting down your first Gallic soldier 250 years before Christ's birth. Imagine remembering the first time your own child saw a big city through their eyes.
It's incredible to just attempt to comprehend, and would be even more incredible to experience.
Also, the idea that if we could tap into the right brainwaves we would be able to communicate with elephants or cats or dogs, or just animals in general is another incredible thought, and again, if it's real, I'd certainly like to explore the concept further.
Sometimes I do feel cynical and depressed, and who knows? Maybe it's brought on (or at least agitated further) by the people around me when they feel upset or cynical for some reason.
One example would have to be when I had dreams of seeing the world, but improvising my way around it completely from the top of my head, and when my mom asked how I would make it to Europe without alot of money I replied by saying I would smuggle myself onto a boat, or find a job somewhere in the area and attempt to make enough money to pay for a plane ride to Heathrow or somewhere of that nature. My mother then went on to ask where I would stay for that time, and I said I would stay with someone I make friends with, or in a hotel.
She laughed at me and told me that life was a bit more complicated then that, and that I would need alot of money and planning before I could attempt to do something of that nature.
That's her opinion, but I'm sure my way is more than simply possible, yet I still felt discouraged.
After awhile, I began to overhear my mom complaining about how life was going terrible for her, and how God (yes, she believes in God, but that's her choice) wasn't doing enough to help her situation and how she deserved more at that point.
What I was thinking was either her God is nonexistent or completely unreliable, and that she shouldn't be looking to a God to help her enjoy her life more, she should be looking to herself and should stop thinking things are to hard or impossible to pull of, because if she continued down that road not only would she cause her situation to get worse, the subconscious human connection would cause it to rub off on me and others around her.
I mean, honestly, I don't have alot to be excited or enthralled about right now in my life, but I do try to make the best of what excitements I do obtain, and the fact that eventually I'll be free to go where I went, when I want, and how I want without the restriction of school or parents.
Honestly? I don't really want to wait another 2 years before I'm able to do those things. Maybe I'm impatient, or maybe I'm just restless, I don't know. All I know is that right now all I want from life is real and true freedom from all the things I've tied myself to, because if you actually think about it I could be anywhere I want doing what I want in any way I want if I truly wanted to, but I've decided to follow the rule of society and finish school before I start truly living.
I try my best to get a good taste of truly living every chance I get by spending time with friends, and travelling (never very far; the farthest I've been is Seattle to the south, and upper Vancouver Island to the North. I've never been East).
One travelling opportunity I can't wait for is going to visit the United Kingdom is the summer of 2010 for a couple of months. I honestly can't wait to see the bright, historical lights and streets of London, and the beautiful rolling countryside of Kent and Dover.
Again, that's another 'probably someday' situation, because I know as well as anyone else that things can change, and we might end up not going at all for some reason or another, despite the fact that we could just do it anyways if we wished.
Oh well, I suppose it gives me something to look forward to until it actually happens, or gives me something to look forward to until the date is changed or it's cancelled all together for some reason.
See? Another generally negative comment. I have to actually believe I'm going to the United Kingdom is I wish to go, or else it won't occur, or will turn out to be nothing as to what I expected it. So I guess I'm going to the U.K., no question about it.
Not only that, I'm going to step foot in every single country in the world before I die. I promise myself that right now. I will live my life to the best of my ability. No cynical boredom while sitting in my bachelor apartment at the age of 33 and completely single. I'm also going to get married and have children. I promise that to myself as well. Of course, I'm going to do that a bit later in my life, maybe in my 30's.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Just a Quick Update- Feeling Sort've Guilty
Well, I decided I'd quickly post an update on how I've been doing lately, as it feels great to use my blog as a place to vent any negative feelings I have despite the fact that it's not a famous blog or anything, which honestly may actually be better due to the fact that, although this may not be private, it does act as something similar to a journal or diary.
Anyways, as has been the norm for the past week, I've been feeling pangs of sorrow and periods of upset and sadness over the whole break-up thing (which may not be the only reason anymore), but also, as of earlier today, started feeling bad about my father: him and I have a very rich relationship, and when we get chances to bond, we bond, but this weekend I felt bad because I realized I seem to bond more with my mother and my mothers boyfriend more often than I do with him; I mean, the bonding with my moms boyfriend isn't on anywhere near the same level of bondage as it is with my father, but just that fact made me feel slightly guilty and undeserving of my fathers love.
My dad is a great guy, he's strongly political, and I take most of my political beliefs from him.
He taught me how to devote myself to something, but to never stick with something I feel I don't truly enjoy or see any necessity to. He's a great musician and acoustic guitar player, and sings quite well. He occasionally plays independently at gigs, and other times he plays with close friends of his. The thing is, last night he was jamming with some people at a family friends birthday party, and he kept looking to me and smiling, and i smiled back, but I think he may have been looking for me to be proud of him (which, of course, I definitely was proud of him, and to be able say he's my father) but I was quite tired because it was getting late and they had been jamming for a long time.
Now that I actually look at this, I believe I'm probably over thinking all of this (like I often do), I'm sure my dad of all people understands me at least in general.
Lately, though, I've felt like no one could understand exactly what I'm going through, mainly due to the fact that not even I'm completely sure what I'm going through and why I'm having such a problem getting through it. I mean, honestly, I don't miss my ex-girlfriend romantically, yes, I do miss the romance in general, and I do miss her, but I'm going to experience romance again, I don't know when or with whom, but I will, and I will hopefully be friends with her again. I just think some time being disconnected from each other is good. In this case, I'm going to start talking to her after spring break, and if we become good friends, then great. If we become chatting acquaintances, then that's fine to.
I guess the main thing is, I miss the overall feeling I had prior to the break-up, which may take awhile to regain, or may not, I'm not sure. I don't think I could really explain the feeling very well, all I could say is I felt loved, relaxed, laid-back, had a clear conscious, and now, all of a sudden I feel disliked, upset and occasionally on-edge, and for some reason find it easy to feel guilty over minor things such as what I explained with my father.
All I really want is to be happy and content, and I think one way to do that is to get a 3 day a week job, sign-up with the local gym, learn to play guitar, switch around my weekends with my dad so he has an extra Friday with me on the weekends he has me, and just in general keep busy with school and such.
Anyways, as has been the norm for the past week, I've been feeling pangs of sorrow and periods of upset and sadness over the whole break-up thing (which may not be the only reason anymore), but also, as of earlier today, started feeling bad about my father: him and I have a very rich relationship, and when we get chances to bond, we bond, but this weekend I felt bad because I realized I seem to bond more with my mother and my mothers boyfriend more often than I do with him; I mean, the bonding with my moms boyfriend isn't on anywhere near the same level of bondage as it is with my father, but just that fact made me feel slightly guilty and undeserving of my fathers love.
My dad is a great guy, he's strongly political, and I take most of my political beliefs from him.
He taught me how to devote myself to something, but to never stick with something I feel I don't truly enjoy or see any necessity to. He's a great musician and acoustic guitar player, and sings quite well. He occasionally plays independently at gigs, and other times he plays with close friends of his. The thing is, last night he was jamming with some people at a family friends birthday party, and he kept looking to me and smiling, and i smiled back, but I think he may have been looking for me to be proud of him (which, of course, I definitely was proud of him, and to be able say he's my father) but I was quite tired because it was getting late and they had been jamming for a long time.
Now that I actually look at this, I believe I'm probably over thinking all of this (like I often do), I'm sure my dad of all people understands me at least in general.
Lately, though, I've felt like no one could understand exactly what I'm going through, mainly due to the fact that not even I'm completely sure what I'm going through and why I'm having such a problem getting through it. I mean, honestly, I don't miss my ex-girlfriend romantically, yes, I do miss the romance in general, and I do miss her, but I'm going to experience romance again, I don't know when or with whom, but I will, and I will hopefully be friends with her again. I just think some time being disconnected from each other is good. In this case, I'm going to start talking to her after spring break, and if we become good friends, then great. If we become chatting acquaintances, then that's fine to.
I guess the main thing is, I miss the overall feeling I had prior to the break-up, which may take awhile to regain, or may not, I'm not sure. I don't think I could really explain the feeling very well, all I could say is I felt loved, relaxed, laid-back, had a clear conscious, and now, all of a sudden I feel disliked, upset and occasionally on-edge, and for some reason find it easy to feel guilty over minor things such as what I explained with my father.
All I really want is to be happy and content, and I think one way to do that is to get a 3 day a week job, sign-up with the local gym, learn to play guitar, switch around my weekends with my dad so he has an extra Friday with me on the weekends he has me, and just in general keep busy with school and such.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Just a Quick Update and a Bit of Rant Contemplation
Yes, life is slowly going back to semi-normal, and I'm getting over my bad cold. I fainted yesterday morning after coming out of the shower, and later that day we went to see my doctor to make sure it was nothing serious. He assured us it probably wasn't, but that I should probably go get a quick blood-test just to confirm it, and that's exactly what I did this morning; the needle sort of stung, but hey, it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. I'm still having coughing fits, and get slightly dizzy every now and then, but aside from that I'm completely fine.
Yes, I do still feel very slightly effected by the whole break-up thing, but the whole reason for most of my sadness and depression over it was due to the fact that I was home alone most of the week, was sick, and had nothing to do so naturally my mind drifted to negative points.
I'm back at school today, and unless I suddenly faint again for some reason, chances are I'm staying for the entire day and not missing another day for a long time. I'm going to have a lot of homework this weekend.
Hopefully we don't get a dismal call from the doctor telling me I have diabetes or something along those lines, because I would be extremely upset. That would officially make this week the worst week of my life.
Hopefully school today will cheer me up just as going to see the movie Milk last night with a few of my good friends improved my emotions quite a lot, even with the spontaneous homosexual intercourse and make-out scenes before they even knew each others names...
Well, I should probably get back to whatever it is I'm actually supposed to be doing (which, surprisingly, I don't think is anything at the moment), either that, or I can think up something to rant about in this blog today. I haven't done a good old rant in awhile.
Well, hmm... let me think... what is there to rant about? Politics? Religion? Society? The world in general? My life?
Actually, you know what? I can't really think of anything right now. Sorry about bringing your hopes up and then crushing them, but oh well.
Peace out, planet Earth.
Yes, I do still feel very slightly effected by the whole break-up thing, but the whole reason for most of my sadness and depression over it was due to the fact that I was home alone most of the week, was sick, and had nothing to do so naturally my mind drifted to negative points.
I'm back at school today, and unless I suddenly faint again for some reason, chances are I'm staying for the entire day and not missing another day for a long time. I'm going to have a lot of homework this weekend.
Hopefully we don't get a dismal call from the doctor telling me I have diabetes or something along those lines, because I would be extremely upset. That would officially make this week the worst week of my life.
Hopefully school today will cheer me up just as going to see the movie Milk last night with a few of my good friends improved my emotions quite a lot, even with the spontaneous homosexual intercourse and make-out scenes before they even knew each others names...
Well, I should probably get back to whatever it is I'm actually supposed to be doing (which, surprisingly, I don't think is anything at the moment), either that, or I can think up something to rant about in this blog today. I haven't done a good old rant in awhile.
Well, hmm... let me think... what is there to rant about? Politics? Religion? Society? The world in general? My life?
Actually, you know what? I can't really think of anything right now. Sorry about bringing your hopes up and then crushing them, but oh well.
Peace out, planet Earth.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Life is Still in a Rut, but yes, it's getting better.
As to reflect on what I wrote yesterday, my girlfriend and I broke it off about 2 or 3 days ago.
We've tentatively gotten back together, but only as to see if I still love her or not. I'm giving this time of thought and true discovery at least two weeks, and at most a month. As I see it, if it works out, it'll act as a new beginning. If not, it'll act as a time of closure, and a time of moving on will ensue.
Personally, the second possibility seems more likely to me, as I honestly care for her, but I don't think I love her, at least not in that way. I love her more as a really good friend.
When we broke up, I really felt that it was the right thing to do, and still do, but her drama and incredibly strong upset, and her broken heart, all played as factors in giving her and I another chance. I guess I consider it as though she pressured me into doing so, probably unaware that she was doing so, and she really felt this strongly, or she was just taking everything far out of context and subconsciously pressured me into it. Either that or she deliberately meant to do so.
I'm justifiably nervous and afraid about the next two weeks, because I honestly have no real idea as to what to expect. One things for sure: if I truly feel I don't love her anymore, I won't let anyone pressure me into staying in the relationship. There's just no logical sense to it. If I did, it would end eventually, and we'd both just end up getting quite a bit more hurt in the end.
To top all of this off, I'm sick with a sore throat, coughing fits, chest pains and body aches, and a large headache. Maybe it was brought on by all this stress, who knows? Either that or I've had it for a long time and my moment of weakness caused it to infect me. That or one of my best friends really is the cause that I'm sick, recently getting over it himself after being sick for about a week.
Something else to note is the fact that I tried to look for help and logical answers to my questions by asking the public on Yahoo! Answers, and although I got plenty of great responses, all of them told me to keep myself busy, and surround myself with friends, despite the fact that it's a school week, and just the fact alone that school this year pushes us so hard, most if not all of my friends can't really spend time with me and vice-verse, also, as I said earlier, I'm not really very fit to hang out with them because I've got such a bad cold right now.
Another thing to note is that I'm never really busy, because I do get homework but I either don't do it, wait until it's late, or do it and end up having alot on a day I would have spent with my friends. Maybe I should look for a hobby (yes, I know, blog-writing, but I've already got it) such as attempt to teach myself guitar, or rearrange my room, or attempt to preoccupy myself with video games as much as possible.
Spring Break is coming next month, and I really hope that if this doesn't end in a happy manner, that I'll be able to spend time with all my friends and family, and just do my best to move on.
Writing this down in the hopes that someone will read it (hopefully my friends and/or family) and will understand what I'm going through, or at least get the jist, really brings me some comfort.
I'll be sure to keep my blog up-to-date on these stressful and painful times.
We've tentatively gotten back together, but only as to see if I still love her or not. I'm giving this time of thought and true discovery at least two weeks, and at most a month. As I see it, if it works out, it'll act as a new beginning. If not, it'll act as a time of closure, and a time of moving on will ensue.
Personally, the second possibility seems more likely to me, as I honestly care for her, but I don't think I love her, at least not in that way. I love her more as a really good friend.
When we broke up, I really felt that it was the right thing to do, and still do, but her drama and incredibly strong upset, and her broken heart, all played as factors in giving her and I another chance. I guess I consider it as though she pressured me into doing so, probably unaware that she was doing so, and she really felt this strongly, or she was just taking everything far out of context and subconsciously pressured me into it. Either that or she deliberately meant to do so.
I'm justifiably nervous and afraid about the next two weeks, because I honestly have no real idea as to what to expect. One things for sure: if I truly feel I don't love her anymore, I won't let anyone pressure me into staying in the relationship. There's just no logical sense to it. If I did, it would end eventually, and we'd both just end up getting quite a bit more hurt in the end.
To top all of this off, I'm sick with a sore throat, coughing fits, chest pains and body aches, and a large headache. Maybe it was brought on by all this stress, who knows? Either that or I've had it for a long time and my moment of weakness caused it to infect me. That or one of my best friends really is the cause that I'm sick, recently getting over it himself after being sick for about a week.
Something else to note is the fact that I tried to look for help and logical answers to my questions by asking the public on Yahoo! Answers, and although I got plenty of great responses, all of them told me to keep myself busy, and surround myself with friends, despite the fact that it's a school week, and just the fact alone that school this year pushes us so hard, most if not all of my friends can't really spend time with me and vice-verse, also, as I said earlier, I'm not really very fit to hang out with them because I've got such a bad cold right now.
Another thing to note is that I'm never really busy, because I do get homework but I either don't do it, wait until it's late, or do it and end up having alot on a day I would have spent with my friends. Maybe I should look for a hobby (yes, I know, blog-writing, but I've already got it) such as attempt to teach myself guitar, or rearrange my room, or attempt to preoccupy myself with video games as much as possible.
Spring Break is coming next month, and I really hope that if this doesn't end in a happy manner, that I'll be able to spend time with all my friends and family, and just do my best to move on.
Writing this down in the hopes that someone will read it (hopefully my friends and/or family) and will understand what I'm going through, or at least get the jist, really brings me some comfort.
I'll be sure to keep my blog up-to-date on these stressful and painful times.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Life in the Rut as of Right Now.
Yesterday, I and my girlfriend (who I am not at liberty to give a name due to personal privacy reasons) broke-up. Parted ways, as one might say.
It seemed to me as though it was a mutual, if not at least semi-mutual inevitable occurrence, (I say
'inevitable' because alot of the people who are close to me have directly stated that they saw this coming, and to be completely honest, so did I, and I think she did to.
I believed that it was going to happen eventually, and in this case, I guess it's better sooner than later, when it would have hurt much more.
It's only been a day, yes, but the dramatic change has been enough to make me feel quite sad, blank, and quite (although not completely, because I know I will get through this) hopeless.
I'll admit, I miss her. As is obvious, not everything about her I miss, or their would have been no reason to break-up in the first place.
I don't miss only her, I miss some lips to kiss, and a comforting, loving companion who would feel the most sympathy for me when I needed it, and to which I would attempt to return the favor, although one mistake I'll admit is that I wasn't always there for her.
I miss a hand to hold, and a person to love because as distant and ghostly as it may seem I do have alot of love to give, and as of yesterday, no one to give it to.
Trust me, I'm not a inherently dramatic person, although I can be if I'm writing a story or countering ones dramatic grief with dramatic upsides, and I know as well as anyone else that I'm going to get over her and everything that happened, and I'm going to take lessons from this relationship just as anyone else would who is or was leaving a relationship.
I know as well that this is a completely natural phase in a break-up, and should easily be expected with the end of a four-and-a-half month love, but I also know that writing it down helps alot.
Anyways, I'll explain how I feel to the best of my ability: I constantly feel alone, sort of drawn away from everyone else, upset, sometimes I feel like I may have made a significant mistake, while others I feel like it was necessary but still painful.
I feel cut-off from everyone else, like no one could really truly understand how I feel.
Some small things remind me of her and give me this short pang of sorrow.
I figure it'll take about a month before I completely get over this, and I know I will.
It seemed to me as though it was a mutual, if not at least semi-mutual inevitable occurrence, (I say
'inevitable' because alot of the people who are close to me have directly stated that they saw this coming, and to be completely honest, so did I, and I think she did to.
I believed that it was going to happen eventually, and in this case, I guess it's better sooner than later, when it would have hurt much more.
It's only been a day, yes, but the dramatic change has been enough to make me feel quite sad, blank, and quite (although not completely, because I know I will get through this) hopeless.
I'll admit, I miss her. As is obvious, not everything about her I miss, or their would have been no reason to break-up in the first place.
I don't miss only her, I miss some lips to kiss, and a comforting, loving companion who would feel the most sympathy for me when I needed it, and to which I would attempt to return the favor, although one mistake I'll admit is that I wasn't always there for her.
I miss a hand to hold, and a person to love because as distant and ghostly as it may seem I do have alot of love to give, and as of yesterday, no one to give it to.
Trust me, I'm not a inherently dramatic person, although I can be if I'm writing a story or countering ones dramatic grief with dramatic upsides, and I know as well as anyone else that I'm going to get over her and everything that happened, and I'm going to take lessons from this relationship just as anyone else would who is or was leaving a relationship.
I know as well that this is a completely natural phase in a break-up, and should easily be expected with the end of a four-and-a-half month love, but I also know that writing it down helps alot.
Anyways, I'll explain how I feel to the best of my ability: I constantly feel alone, sort of drawn away from everyone else, upset, sometimes I feel like I may have made a significant mistake, while others I feel like it was necessary but still painful.
I feel cut-off from everyone else, like no one could really truly understand how I feel.
Some small things remind me of her and give me this short pang of sorrow.
I figure it'll take about a month before I completely get over this, and I know I will.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Why the Satirical Jesus?
People ask me a lot why I make so many satirical references to Jesus: and that's a simple question to answer.
He's simply one of the most far fetched characters in history, it's hard not to mock what people believe he actually did.
I mean, the guy said he was the son of God, and then he let himself get whipped and hung on some random wooden cross, and to top it off, he died and came back to life a couple of days later, and then he walked on water to reach the other side, and as if that wasn't enough, he literally ascended into the heavens. Well, according to the Bible.
In reality? Well, first of all, he was probably just the first guy to be into the sexual hermaphroditic flagulation thing, and either one hell of a dellusional weirdo, or just a really good liar. As for the dying on the cross? They probably wanted him dead because his urges creeped the hell out of the Romans, but they decided they'd be kind and do it in a way he might enjoy.
When he came back to life, it's obvious he never died, he probably just finished off and decided he'd go rest in a little cave. That and he was probably hiding from the Romans who thought they had killed him.
As for the walking on water thing? I'm pretty sure whoever saw that was pretty damn stoned out of their mind, and when he ascended into the heavens, he must of spiked the punch or something with some sort of drug (probably an early version of Coca-Cola).
Ok, that isn't my actual outlook on the whole thing. That's just a purely satirical outlook I came up with on the spot.
If this blog ever becomes famous, I'm going to get alot of hate mail from not only fundamentalist Christians and Catholics, but also from casual Christians and Catholics demanding respect towards religion in general, when in fact I have no problem with religous people looking at Atheism in a satirical and crude perspective, as long as they're not being serious.
If they're being serious, they probably have no idea what they're talking about and live somewhere in the southern United States.
They also might be some of those 'Heartland of America' fundalemtalist Christians.
He's simply one of the most far fetched characters in history, it's hard not to mock what people believe he actually did.
I mean, the guy said he was the son of God, and then he let himself get whipped and hung on some random wooden cross, and to top it off, he died and came back to life a couple of days later, and then he walked on water to reach the other side, and as if that wasn't enough, he literally ascended into the heavens. Well, according to the Bible.
In reality? Well, first of all, he was probably just the first guy to be into the sexual hermaphroditic flagulation thing, and either one hell of a dellusional weirdo, or just a really good liar. As for the dying on the cross? They probably wanted him dead because his urges creeped the hell out of the Romans, but they decided they'd be kind and do it in a way he might enjoy.
When he came back to life, it's obvious he never died, he probably just finished off and decided he'd go rest in a little cave. That and he was probably hiding from the Romans who thought they had killed him.
As for the walking on water thing? I'm pretty sure whoever saw that was pretty damn stoned out of their mind, and when he ascended into the heavens, he must of spiked the punch or something with some sort of drug (probably an early version of Coca-Cola).
Ok, that isn't my actual outlook on the whole thing. That's just a purely satirical outlook I came up with on the spot.
If this blog ever becomes famous, I'm going to get alot of hate mail from not only fundamentalist Christians and Catholics, but also from casual Christians and Catholics demanding respect towards religion in general, when in fact I have no problem with religous people looking at Atheism in a satirical and crude perspective, as long as they're not being serious.
If they're being serious, they probably have no idea what they're talking about and live somewhere in the southern United States.
They also might be some of those 'Heartland of America' fundalemtalist Christians.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Don't Pretend To Be Jesus.
The image is a bit blurry, and cut off on the far right, so you'll have to actually click on it to see it clearly.
Monday, March 2, 2009
The Sum Of All Conflict
They fought in the trenches,
Surrounding Vimy Ridge.
They fell in the fields,
Lacking one last kiss.
They sunk on open waters,
Praying to their God.
They where shot dead in Saigon,
Fighting for a fraud.
They where blown to bits and pieces,
Found later in the Ardennes.
They fell to Fascist rifles,
In the name of Spain and all her friends.
They died for old MacArthur,
His ego could care less.
They died for all the Germans,
In Hitler's game of chess.
They died for King and Country,
In the name of their great Queen.
They died in ancient Baghdad,
Victim to an enemy unseen.
They fell from 60 stories,
On that dark and tragic day.
They sat in rehab centers,
With nothing left to say.
They sat at home with family,
No longer able to walk,
Hoping for that final day,
When the guns would drop,
Bullets would stop,
And all we would do,
Is just sit down,
And talk.
Surrounding Vimy Ridge.
They fell in the fields,
Lacking one last kiss.
They sunk on open waters,
Praying to their God.
They where shot dead in Saigon,
Fighting for a fraud.
They where blown to bits and pieces,
Found later in the Ardennes.
They fell to Fascist rifles,
In the name of Spain and all her friends.
They died for old MacArthur,
His ego could care less.
They died for all the Germans,
In Hitler's game of chess.
They died for King and Country,
In the name of their great Queen.
They died in ancient Baghdad,
Victim to an enemy unseen.
They fell from 60 stories,
On that dark and tragic day.
They sat in rehab centers,
With nothing left to say.
They sat at home with family,
No longer able to walk,
Hoping for that final day,
When the guns would drop,
Bullets would stop,
And all we would do,
Is just sit down,
And talk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Copyright
