People ask me a lot why I make so many satirical references to Jesus: and that's a simple question to answer.
He's simply one of the most far fetched characters in history, it's hard not to mock what people believe he actually did.
I mean, the guy said he was the son of God, and then he let himself get whipped and hung on some random wooden cross, and to top it off, he died and came back to life a couple of days later, and then he walked on water to reach the other side, and as if that wasn't enough, he literally ascended into the heavens. Well, according to the Bible.
In reality? Well, first of all, he was probably just the first guy to be into the sexual hermaphroditic flagulation thing, and either one hell of a dellusional weirdo, or just a really good liar. As for the dying on the cross? They probably wanted him dead because his urges creeped the hell out of the Romans, but they decided they'd be kind and do it in a way he might enjoy.
When he came back to life, it's obvious he never died, he probably just finished off and decided he'd go rest in a little cave. That and he was probably hiding from the Romans who thought they had killed him.
As for the walking on water thing? I'm pretty sure whoever saw that was pretty damn stoned out of their mind, and when he ascended into the heavens, he must of spiked the punch or something with some sort of drug (probably an early version of Coca-Cola).
Ok, that isn't my actual outlook on the whole thing. That's just a purely satirical outlook I came up with on the spot.
If this blog ever becomes famous, I'm going to get alot of hate mail from not only fundamentalist Christians and Catholics, but also from casual Christians and Catholics demanding respect towards religion in general, when in fact I have no problem with religous people looking at Atheism in a satirical and crude perspective, as long as they're not being serious.
If they're being serious, they probably have no idea what they're talking about and live somewhere in the southern United States.
They also might be some of those 'Heartland of America' fundalemtalist Christians.
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