Pausing to Let the World Catch-Up

While she dodges telling the world how she's feeling, I pretty much put it out there as so it's accessible as common knowledge. While I write heart-felt blog posts on how I'm feeling, trying to get people to understand just how I'm feeling, she counters them with a blog post that avoids her entire personal life, and a second one that talks of 'shoez on the brain.' As disheartening as I found that, as it seemed she was simply countering my sincere and heartfelt posts with something that almost seemed to be mocking my situation, I understood where she was coming from, and actually laughed out loud when I saw her 'shoez' post. Maybe she has a better way of dealing with all of it, who knows? It seems grieving is different for most every person in this world.

When I am deeply upset, I feel a need to vent how I feel via rants, journal entries, and blog posts. All three do accomplish something in the way of just getting it all out there, but beyond that, they cause people to have a deeper understanding for my situation, which eliminates a default and isolated feeling of deep, inner loneliness I find that I feel otherwise.

Sure... posting this all on my blog has pros and cons to it, but so does keeping all of your problems to yourself. I just find it easier to delve into my problems, as so most people close to me know of them in-depth, and that way, I can reflect how I'm feeling off of them and into me, as to gain a better understanding of how I can fix the issue outside of my own emotionally tainted personal perspective. Sure, there are details I leave out... some of them could even be said to be vital to the problem overall... but some things do need to remain private. As such, these parts are between myself and whomever I share the problem with, and no one else.

It's true that I could simply choose one or 2 very close friends to confide in on all of this, but honestly... it's harder to accomplish the whole 'reflection' technique with only 1 other person completely aware of what's going on. Although 2 may be a slightly better figure, it still isn't much better, the reason being that I'm the one that actually lived through all of the things I tell them about, and I find if I tell more then one person, I will disperse my facts and my rants so no single person knows all of the details. In this way, I get different perspectives on how to act, what I could have done, and what to do at this point in time to move forward. Once I've heard many different opinions from the heart, I combine them, process them in my brain, and take from all of them what I think I need or want, and utilize them as such while combining them with my own awareness and opinions on the situation. No technique is flawless, but this technique has got me through many heartbreaks in the past. Why would it be different now?

Anyways, I'm taking a down-time day today, as to let everything that has happened catch up with me, and swallow all the bitter pills I need to in order to move on. Like I said once before:

Life goes on.