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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Rules were meant to be broken

Is an incorrect analysis; rules were meant to keep order, attempt to guide people to what the rule-maker(s) see as what's best for them.
That doesn't mean I don't create my own outcome, or destiny as some might call it.
It's not that I don't like working by a schedule, even for things such as school; it's just that I like having the option of not having to follow it if I so wish; I really don't see why I'm so obliged to be present at school every day they want me to be, although I do understand why I do, indeed, need to be present at school in general, and am indeed thankful for the privilege of education which was dictated upon me from the age of 4 onwards (and I'm not being sarcastic).

One thing I'm afraid of about myself is the fact that I may subconsciously become comfortable with skipping class so often that it could potentially lead to an unwanted outcome, and I'm going to need to commandeer as much of my subconscious being as possible to avoid such a comfort, and still be alright with ditching class every once in a while for multiple reasons, some of which include: spending time with old friends, suddenly becoming sick, over-weariness, going on a vacation of some sort, deciding it's better to fall asleep in a beach-side meadow under the sun than to sit in Film & TV class for the third time that week and listen to the more popular people in the group talk about their great vacation plans for the near-future, as well as the simple desire for a time off from the hectic social sphere, as well as school work sphere, of my life.
I'm aware that many see this as wrong, and will call me lazy, and/or endangering my future success; while others simply don't take opinion on the matter, as they may do it from time to time, and others agree with me for many different reasons of their own, which can't really be characterized by what I've got written down here.

In terms of a job schedule, I'd take it much more seriously then I do the schedule at school, due to the fact that I'd be getting paid a decent amount per hour to do the job, as well as the fact that it'd be much easier then having to sit in a classroom for 6 hours and 15 minutes a day and realize I'm getting nothing out of the teacher's lesson on how to count the amount of clauses in a given sentence, or sit in guitar class and be unable to hear the teacher yell what chords to play over the sound of everyone else; although I will admit, I need to start practicing the warm-ups he's been teaching us that I'm really having trouble wrapping my head around, and watch in slightly annoyed, yet humble disbelief at the novices as they pick it up much quicker then I do.

I'm not going to lie; I write this article to you right now at my home, when I'm supposed to be sitting in English class doing God knows what, whether I'd enjoy it or not.
This morning, I decided I wanted to sleep in and not go to my Digital Media class, as it's a quite laid-back class, and I have the same teacher for Film & TV which I do indeed plan to attend today, giving me the chance to do whatever it is he wanted me to do in Digital Media during the slow brainstorming period of my Film class. I ended up waking up and 9:40 AM, and showered as quick as I could as to attempt to make it to English in time; as I was attempting to make my breakfast, the toaster appeared to stop working properly, so I was fooling around with it in a vein attempt to make it keep the toast down instead of popping it right back up as soon as I moved my hand away, to no avail. When I looked at my watch, it was 5 minutes until my English class started, and I knew that, no matter what, I was going to be at least about 20 minutes late. Finally, I made the half-toasted toast, and ate it anyways, quickly moving on to drink my coffee there-after. By this time, my class had started about 5 minutes ago, and I began to debate in my mind whether I should just not go anyways, and make sure I don't skip many more of the same class due to it being my only real academic for the semester.
Finally, I decided I'd just leave for school just prior to the lunch-break period, and promised to myself that if I skip any class, I can't skip more than 1 class of it per week, except for English, where I can't skip more than 1 class per every 3 weeks (unless I'm legitimately sick or something), and must make sure to get caught up quickly on what I missed the following day.
Along which such ground-rules I've laid down in my head, I also decided to add that I could only miss English if I happened to be sick, going on a family vacation, was already so late I didn't think it was worth going at all for the day, or I knew their was nothing important at all going on that particular day, and decided I wanted to use my 'once every 3 weeks' day; in which I promise myself I won't miss any other class for the remainder of that week.

I think that's a fair psychological system to work off of. Disagree? You must be one parents then. If not, and you disagree for separate reasons, please, leave a constructive comment on why you disagree; who knows? Maybe you'll change my thinking.
If you agree with me, but feel you want to add to, or subtract from what I've said, once again; I encourage you to leave a constructive comment as well.

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.