Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Am Not a Simple Irresponsible.

"So you don't follow the rules?"
"I follow the rules."
"Obviously not all of them."
"Your right, not all of them."
"You should respect school rules."
"I do respect school rules."
"Then why don't you follow all of them?"
"Because they restrict me."
"Based on what we believe is best for you, yes."
"I've never been one to put my decisions in other peoples hands, thanks."
"Look; we do this to make sure students get a excellent education. One that parents are more than happy with."
"I don't mean to act like the automatic rebel, but I'm not my parents. You shouldn't be concerned about them."
"They play a big part in your education as well, Kyran."
"So I've heard, for the past 12 years."
"They have a larger input then I do. Basically, as a collective, the parents are stronger than the school board."
"I appreciate the representation, but I'm starting to think it should be the the students that are much more powerful than the parents when united as a collective. Its our futures, anyways."
"That's the problem, Kyran. Your current trends in certain classes don't communicate any real concerns about your own future."
"I beg to differ."
"Look, this isn't something to argue about. It's an established system with established ground rules that have worked fine for years, and you would be wise to respect it."
"Well, for one, I wasn't arguing. I was debating. For two, I could care less how old and tested a system is; if I dislike it, you or somebody else is gonna hear about it."
"And so you dislike this current system?"
"I never explicitly said that, but yes, there are dimensions of it I don't really appreciate."
"Like what?"
"Like the parents wielding more power than the student. It's an assumption that the students are all ignorant, arrogant, and careless regarding their own individual futures. Sure, that's true of certain students, but honestly, if they don't care now, they're not going to care later, and really shouldn't be holding down the rest of us bolt-and-screw."
"Your a smart boy, Kyran, and I know we've had these sorts of arguments before. I respect your views and can see what you mean, but honestly, it's not my call."
"Ok, well I've got a few more things to say."
"Make it quick, then."
"One: you completely avoided any actual response to my statement. Two: you're the Vice-Principal; if you aren't somehow capable of making changes, it frightens me to think of how stiff this current system is."
"I'm not really liking your attitude anymore."
"I apologize. Please, just respond accordingly."
"I'm a single member of a body of educational representatives that-"
"I don't remember voting in."
"Don't interrupt me, I was speaking."
"I'm a single member of a body of educational representatives that are subject to a hierarchical chain of command, in some sense. I answer to the Principal, the Principal answers to the Superintendent, the Superintendent answers to the School Board, and the School Board answers to the parents."
"But the students are at the bottom of the chain? That hardly seems fair."
"Well, teenagers in general lack any real understanding of how important education actually is."
"'In general' is a broad term. You would be pleasantly surprised."
"Maybe so, but I have yet to see a vast majority of students who do truly care about their futures."
"I care about my future very much. Sorry if I don't make it seem like that, but I've got all the easy classes this semester, Film & TV, Guitar, English, and-"
"Look, I'm not necessarily talking about you-"
"But you're talking to me about it, and let me say I try very hard in English. So what, I skip from time to time? It means I prefer the current moment to a year from now, and that I like to enjoy the bigger world out there, instead of sitting around, cooped-up in a hot classroom reading Shakespeare's MacBeth, and stopping every 5 minutes to learn about some new metaphor we've come across. Frankly, it's a brilliant piece of work in my opinion, but I can't see myself being required to recite MacBeth at a job interview 3 years from now."
"You said you also take guitar?"
"I do."
"Do you see yourself whipping out a guitar during a job interview 3 years from now?"
"No, not really. Well, depends what job it is, I suppose."
"Then you see my point."
"I see what you're getting at, but I can't quite grasp your point, no."
"And why's that?"
"Well, I consider reading MacBeth actual school work. School work. I consider playing guitar my favorite hobby, aside from maybe writing and such, which would be in the same league."
"But I've heard you state many times that you enjoy reading, and as a writer, that should be a given."
"I do enjoy reading. But reading MacBeth means we then have to answer upwards of 10 questions on what we just read, and I don't really know about you, but when I read for the sake of reading, or for the sake of learning something, I don't pull out a questionnaire booklet to test myself on what I already know, especially when the material is a historical fiction, and not actual fact that needs to be ground into our heads like World War I or Louis Riel."
"I can see your point, Kyran, and you bring up many good points, but the bell is about to ring and I've got a meeting to attend."
"Alright, that's fine."
"Is there anything you'd like to add in the next 2 minutes?"
"Yes, actually."
*The Vice-Principal sighs a little as he leans back in this chair.*
"School, as a whole, is something designed to condition children who did once live on the whim of what their mind told them at any particular moment. They didn't worry about the future, did they? That worry was later programmed into them by beleaguered parents who were also conditioned by the same, or similar systems in years past. School is designed by society as a whole to condition the young mind and prepare it for years upon years of working to plug profit into a larger, national economic system. Such a system doesn't think of the individual, but of the collective; and although concern for the collective is justified, concern must also be shown for the individual for whom without which, the collective could not exist to the benefit of the rich representatives of the nation who are the only ones truly living life as it should be; free of any actual work. The school here itself told us we need to find a job in which we 'never work a day in our lives,' and I agree, but frankly I consider it work to worry about when that job will show up, or what it will be. I, myself, have learned that I need to live life for the moment, not for tomorrow or yesterday. I've learned that 'life is what happens while making other plans,' and as such, I follow nothing but the flow of where my mind, as well as my feet, take me. Sometimes, both at once tell me that it's much to linear and cooped-up inside a classroom, and I would rather be tapping into my creativity as opposed to learning a brand-new blues song in my guitar class. To the annoyance of my guitar teacher, I listen to both my head and my feet, and am quick to find a way out of that class and into the sun, where my head is clearer, and my creativity can flow."
*The bell rings. The Vice-Principal gets up and out of his chair.*
"You are a very smart cookie, Kyran, and I can certainly see what you're getting at. Plenty of people once thought like you, but have grown to understand that the future is just as important a the present, and as such, work towards their desired outcome. I think you will one day grow to understand that."
"No, I don't believe I will. At least not in the context you're thinking of. A wise man once said to me, that it was the process and not the outcome that matters. I think you would also be wise to take that into account."
"We're all free-thinkers here, young man. Now you need to get to class."
"Thanks for your time."
"Have a good day, Kyran. Keep up the quick thinking. It may be what gets you places one day."

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.