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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Loving Life is Step 1

I apologize for my intermittent absence from the blogging world, but it's been with good cause, as I've been away from the computer, as well as the internet, for the past 3 days; and I have to say, it feels good to get away from time to time.

On Thursday, I ended up staying the night at a friends place south of town, despite the fact it was a school night. We watched the stars, but got to bed at a reasonable time, which was probably for the best, considering the fact that I had a performance the next day in my guitar class, in which I performed Cream's 'Sunshine of your Love' and Stevie Ray Vaughn's 'Pride and Joy.'
After taking the bus to school, to the surprise of my other good friends who lived in that general area, I went home for first block to shower and prepare for my performance in second block.
Despite the pre-performance jitters I got, I did my best, with one friend of mine going so far as to suggest that I had now stripped myself of public humility, or in other words, had truly grown enough to stop worrying about what people thought of me. I did make a couple mistakes, but with this town being as good natured as it is, no one really paid any attention, and I got piles of incredibly positive feedback from people I had never really talked to before.

After surviving the remainder of the school day, I was back on the same bus I had taken that same morning, returning south of town for a party at the same friend of mines place to which I had resided the night before. It was a musical jam party, for the most part, and for those who couldn't play any instruments or sing, they either listened and enjoyed, or went outside to simply enjoy the evening, or decided to be abit athletic and test their acrobatic skills on the trampoline, as well as play some simple sports (which I had never heard of before, and can't recall the name of for that reason).

After practically everyone had left, only four of us remained, and we decided to spend the night on the trampoline. It was quite an incredible experience.. the endless expanse of the stars, the seemingly boundless encirclement of nature, the humorously memorable conversations about nothing in particular, and cuddling up close to my girlfriend and falling asleep made for one hell of a night, and perhaps a night that foreshadowed many to come in the fast-approaching summer months. Summer time, and the livin' is easy.

Originally, I was seriously considering getting a job this summer due to my receiving pressure from my mom, with some back-up support coming from my dad and my best friend, but I'm starting to seriously reconsider, as this summer will be my last summer break before I graduate, and it's a given that I'll be working my ass off next summer to make money towards going to university. My girlfriend seems to agree with my reconsideration's, basically stating that you're 'only young once,' and honestly, despite all the inevitable good times to come my way in the future, this could be my last free summer ever, for all I know.

Due to this, I've decided to hold-off on jumping into the rat-race until next September at the latest, although I'm considering the possibility of finding a part-time job in August, providing the economy isn't one to throw me the big middle finger at that point. My mom might, considering the fact that she has been the one pressuring me so hard to get a job for quite awhile (and I don't mean that literally, mom, just, you know. Oh, and happy mothers day, I apologize for not vacuuming the house, if you're reading this).

Anyways, I've been abit sleep-deprived for the past couple of days, so I should probably head to bed so I'm well rested for school tomorrow. Peace out, blue planet, and have a Happy Mothers Day, moms of the world; you are the unseen heroes who are probably seen more often than popular culture is willing to admit.

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.