A good friend of mine posted an article about a Manitoba judge who used the old and infamous 'nuts-and-sluts' argument in a rape case, blaming the victims more-so than the rapist himself. The rapist, in fact, got off without jail time in the end, and is free to roam the streets and make the same 'mistake' twice.
Anyways, I commented on the article without reading the article. All I read was the blurb of text that my friend posted above it... and even that, I only read up to the point where the judge used the fact that the women wore 'plenty of make-up, no bras, and high-heels' as the excuses for why the rapist may have been confused as to what the victims wanted (I think he would notice pretty quickly, would he not?)
Without actually delving into it, I saw the part regarding 'no bras,' and assumed that meant there must have been a point where they really did over-expose themselves, and commented that the rapist should be put away, and that I hoped the girls learned there lesson to be careful in taking risks like that again. My friend responded in-kind, saying she was 'ashamed' that I could say something so 'narrow-minded and conservative,' and said I was blaming the victims. She also called me an asshole for saying so, and although I saw her point, I immediately saw she took it far out of context. Taking the defensive stance, not because I was defending what she thought I was arguing for, but because I was trying to make the point that she took it out of context, and that I am not an asshole in any way, shape, or form... her mother jumped in, and apparently took from the whole conversation that I must be a misogynistic asshole who supports the 'nuts-and-sluts' argument whole-heartedly.
Rather insulted, I continued to try and make my point despite my friends automatic anger.
She began accusing me of simply altering my argument once I saw it wasn't going my way, which insulted me even further, as I was slightly embarrassed for what I said due to my overall ignorance on the matter, but I was just as annoyed that she had decided to take it so grossly out of context, especially considering she knows me so well.
I finally made my point clear, amidst her continued accusations that I wasn't making any sense, and that it seemed obvious that I was lying know to appease her (which really annoyed me, as it wasn't true... I was stating what I thought she would have seen through the entire argument, but either neglected to notice, or simply did not notice).
I commented on it later after reading most of the article, after my friend had deleted all of my comments (apparently, 'for my own sake,' as I was the one who made such a grave and narrow-minded mistake), and I felt I was legitimately commenting on it, yet was careful as so she didn't misinterpret it as my appeasing her (once again).
I dislike it when people believe they know better than you that you made a mistake, yet they make an even larger mistake in not taking the time to re-interpret my 'mistake' from a different angle, and attempt to see it from said angle, instead of simply demonizing it as 'sick and wrong,' and drawing the completely wrong picture of it from me whilst letting someone else do the same.
Some people complain about not being taken seriously. I think my problem is that I'm taken too seriously at times.
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