Well, it's been quite awhile since I last posted on my blog. Maybe not quite as long as I think due to the fact that alot has happened in the past few days (which, as is obvious, I'll share with you in a moment).
I haven't made any real progress on any of my songwriting projects, for any distant person who may actually care. I'm really starting to wonder how significant I am to everyone else in my life, due to the fact that I was sort of dumped/ rejected by a girl two years younger then me earlier today. I must really be unworth it and unattractive if she she made up her mind that fast.
Whether anyone reads this or not, I'll share with you what exactly happened and how I feel about it. It does help to get it out, regardless.
Anyways, I met this girl (who I won't state the name of for privacy reasons) while camping on the gulf island of Texada just over 3 or so weeks ago. I thought she was quite pretty, but she was my brothers age (and as such I've put up a mental barrier when it comes to dating people that age) so I didn't actually take my attraction to her very seriously, and I shook it off, it seemed, almost as quick as it had come.
Then, at a friends birthday party on Texada, I realized that was more then just some blank attraction to her looks. Her looks were part of it, but it was also about how much she was like me (well, like me on occasion) in alot of ways, and this sort of enigmatic, mysterious aura she gave off. I suddenly found myself really worrying about how I looked around her.
Later that same night, I realized I really did like her, and it wasn't just one of those 'I havn't had a girlfriend in a long time, so I need to look good for these ladies' sort of things I'll admit I have felt in the past.
We were sitting out on her trampoline, a group of 6 or 7 of us. We decided to play truth or dare (God I hope my mom doesn't read this).
When we played truth or dare, we had some really strange dares (don't worry, they weren't TO dirty) which I'd rather not share with the entire world. At some point during the night, I was dared to kiss the girl I liked. Of course, I did.
She gave me this strange sort of 'I want this, but I'm a bit confused as to whether I'm telling myself the truth' looks. Regardless, I kissed her. And I enjoyed it.
We ended up pulling an all-nighter that same night, playing truth or dare well into the morning until the sun began to peak over the distant island mountains. At that point, two members of our entourage decided they wanted to get some sleep, and as such, they slept on the trampoline while the remaining 4 of us decided to walk around the utterly deserted and silent Texada community of Gillies Bay, listening to music and chatting about different things, as well as stirring up a bit of trouble (which is natural for people our age... and I don't mean that sexually).
I really thought this girl I liked was very pretty, and I liked her 'crazy girl' style.
The following day (well, ok, later on that same day) we took a ferry back to my hometown of Powell River due to the fact that the yearly Seafair was taking place, which included amusement park rides, cotton candy, and of course a game where you attempt to win your girlfriend a teddy bear.
It was during out time there that I finally decided to acknowledge the fact that I liked this girl with two of my closest friends (one of them being Brian Raimondo from To Contradict Kyran), and I told them both that due to the mental block I'd put up, I now had a problem because I really did care for this girl who was still my brothers age.
One of those closest friends, the one I won't mention the name of due to privacy reasons, was taking the ferry back to Texada with the girl I liked because both of them lived there.
While on the ferry, he kept saying things to her like 'oh, so you and Kyran, eh?'
He later told me that he had misjudged what I had said, and had perceived it as meaning that I really had something with her as it was, despite the fact that I had only known her for just over 3 weeks. I wasn't angry, I had no reason to be.
I think one thing that lead to the failure of this relationship before it started is the fact that everything appeared to be rushed, even though I had taken extra care not to rush into anything this time.
To speed things up abit, she really did seem to like me a couple of days later (after she had revealed that she knew I liked her, and that she liked me), and we even shared some longing glances and held hands. A day later, capiche. It's over. She decides she only likes me as a friend.
There's another instance that probably caused her to stop liking me, but that instance on its own is worth a spin-off article on its own. I'll bring that to everyone later.
Have a great summer. Hopefully, you have better luck then me.
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