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Saturday, August 27, 2011

This is what troubles me, yet beautifully, because of the incredible potential and the unpredictability.

I am on a ledge in my life at the moment.

I have recently graduated from school, and as such, feel like following through with my dreams and travelling the world to discover new places, people, and experiences.
But I am absolutely unsure as to what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it, and this is a nerve-wracking yet incredible state of affairs to be immersed in.

I have so many choices; a literally endless amount to indulge in.
I could quite literally pursue any road I would like... and this makes things beautifully complicated.

Do I hop on a plane with all of most valued personal possessions and say goodbye to this town I grew up in?
Say goodbye to my family, my friends, past lovers, co-workers, former schoolmates, and the strangers that constantly make appearances in the waking dream that is life?

Or do I decide to stay and work? Perhaps purchase or rent my own home here and figure things out from there?

Or do I follow the crowd of my friends all heading off to university on Vancouver Island? Perhaps apply for a college or university on some other part of the continent or the world?

Or should I try my hand at individual dissidence, and simply live entirely for the moment, doing everything for its own sake?

Perhaps I could become some sort of non-violent activist and go across the ocean to protest atrocities that continue to occur, even to this day.

Or I could join the army and fight for my country in a war I do not believe it, hoping to garner 'honor, discipline, and integrity.'

Or I may choose to search for love of all sorts. This would come as a bi-product of any choice I could potentially make, however.

There are many other roads I could, and may very well travel.

And I would very much like to walk down each and every one of them.

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The world is meaningless,

there is no God or gods, there are no morals, the universe is not moving inexorably towards any higher purpose.
All meaning is man-made, so make your own, and make it well.
Do not treat life as a way to pass the time until you die.
Do not try to "find yourself", you must make yourself.
Choose what you want to find meaningful and live, create, love, hate, cry, destroy, fight and die for it.
Do not let your life and your values and your actions slip easily into any mold, other that that which you create for yourself, and say with conviction, "This is who I make myself".
Do not give in to hope.
Remember that nothing you do has any significance beyond that with which you imbue it.
Whatever you do, do it for its own sake.
When the universe looks on with indifference, laugh, and shout back, "Fuck You!".
Rembember that to fight meaninglessness is futile, but fight anyway, in spite of and because of its futility.
The world may be empty of meaning, but it is a blank canvas on which to paint meanings of your own.
Live deliberately. You are free.